My beginning,,,

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by trying to hold on, Jan 15, 2018.

  1. trying to hold on

    trying to hold on New Member

    I am a 50 year old single mom of one daughter who just turned 17. She has mental conditions and substance abuse issues for about 2 years now. She was in patient hospitalization 3 times within 9 months last year for suicidal idealizations. each stay was at least 8-11 days. that was the first 2 times,, after that she has played on my emotions to get what she wants and the last "trip" I finally was able to have her taken via police/ ambulance. She has turned me inside out. I have a steady good job but my home life does effect my work, as it effects every part of y life and I am looking for ways to help myself. Looking for people that know what I am going through and can give me healthy ways to cope,, not telling me to "kick her as*" or that "its my fault she is like this". Yes, I have had people say this to me.. or better is " if that was my kid I would... " would what? You don't know what you would do as you have never had to deal with this before! My family doesn't help and neither does her father,, This is the beginning of my story. Thank you for listening.
     
  2. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Welcome

    If you read on the SA forum, which I see you have now posted on, you will see MANY of us on the same journey but at different stops along the way.

    You can see by my signature that we have been through a lot with our son since the age of 15 - 7 years!!! Can you say exhausting??

    I can't rewrite all the wisdom, advice, strength and observations that are here but I will say that it's not your fault. Also people that haven't been through it just don't get it. On this forum, WE GET IT.

    It is a very difficult and lonely road to be on. I did not know anyone "like us" when this all started. It took us years to even know what we were dealing with. Our older boys had a few mishaps but quickly learned and moved on. Not our youngest. Just didn't care at all about ANYTHING. What???!!!

    As someone said here, I understand I will never understand. That is exactly where I am right now.

    My advice is to see a therapist that specializes in addiction. That is what I had to do to create firm boundaries for myself and most of all for my son. He needed this as well!! More than I did. This forum and my therapist are the only thing that has gotten me through this. Also my husband (now that we're on the same page) and some great friends. I am on the outs with my brother and sister due to incidents that happened with my son's addiction. Oh well. No strength to fix all that.

    More will be along to offer their insight but welcome and glad you found us!
     
  3. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Welcome TTHO

    You are not alone in this difficult and exhausting journey.

    People give you solutions that work on normal childhood and teen Anxt because th y have never experienced the abnormal and simply comprehend it.

    What others this about you is none of your concern. To H with them and their opinions. They have not walked in your worn out shoes.

    A dual diagnosis is so very difficult.

    Stay and post. We all understand. No judgment here.
     
  4. Sam3

    Sam3 Active Member

    You are in the right place. Life is hard. I think if people were more secure and more educated, it might be a very different, less isolating, experience for parents of difficult children.

    But, between our DCs and some self-care, there’s not a lot of time or energy for bringing turkeys up to speed.
     
  5. Lost in sadness

    Lost in sadness Active Member

    I am sorry to hear your story but glad you have found a wealth of support here! At times we have all worried what people may think - no one will understand unless they have been there. We all worry at times what we could have done differently too, I still do not know the answer to that...even if there is one.

    Hang in there, come here often! x