My job description just changed and I am MAJORLY freaking out!!!

[Copabanana]

I do not know why bosses can be so mean. But they are. That is the only reason I hate to work. I like every other thing about it. Except the bosses who gang up.

And, co-workers with malignant gossip.

 

[Copabanana]

CB, I hope all of the different options you have make it more bearable to do this. One way or another, with your doctor's help, I believe you will find a way.

Another resource I thought about is The Department of Rehabilitation. They help disabled people find work (and possibly get training) that they can do with their disabilities.

 

[Copabanana]

I feel proud of all of us who have stood up to harassment at work. It seems some people look for vulnerability and they attack. I wish that this did not happen. It has happened to me many times in my life.

Ultimately bullies never win. But they can sure do a lot of damage.

 

[GoingNorth]

Copa, I've been forced out. Why? I was an older worker who, as the saying goes, " could be replaced by two twenty year olds for less than what they were paying me."

And, that's exactly what happened. Except, it wasn't twenty year olds; it was two H1B workers from India.

It wasn't politics or personalities in my case. I was well-liked and respected in my workplace. It was a simple, financial decision by the bean-counters in San Diego who had taken over the company six months prior.

Oh, and technically, I couldn't collect unemployment because they did offer me another position. In San Diego, for less money/fewer benefits. I wasn't able to consider accepting the position because I had an ill husband to consider. (Not to mention that the salary offered wouldn't have been enough to survive on in San Diego.)

The company I went to after that fiasco, outsourced my entire department to Bangelore, India. I suppose one can manage an international network from anywhere. By then I was in my late 40s and the economy was in the process of crashing. IT is a young person's game.

But yes, people get forced out all the time. My mother was forced into early retirement after 25 years with the same company. That was politics and personalities, and she went through hell before she finally knuckled under and retired.

The thing that is most critical here is that CB NOT quit this job. Either they fire her, or she leaves this position after accepting a new position. If she is terminated for something that is part of her disability, that helps with getting SSDI.

CB. Be sure to save any and all "write-ups", etc, even notices of verbal warnings,any communications from management, all of that stuff. It's all "ammunition".

 

[Copabanana]

CB. Be sure to save any and all "write-ups", etc, even notices of verbal warnings,any communications from management, all of that stuff. It's all "ammunition".

And be careful what you put in writing. Less is more. You can also refuse to sign. You can note "I do not agree" on the document, and next to that the date and your initials.

GoingNorth, it happened to me too. Coworkers started a rumor that I was the big boss's mistress. When a permanent position became available, he would not consider me (even though I had retired from the same permanent position which I had done for 10 years entirely successfully.)

He said it was because I was old and would not be able to catch on to the computer. *The same computer I had been using those 10 years. I had been commended in writing for how I had caught on quicker than most peers.

When I challenged him he said it was because he could not support me because of perceptions that we were lovers. We were not.

Then? I was let go from the contract job.

I was rehired at 3 other prisons after that and did stellar work. One of those prisons had an especially complex and demanding program to navigate that required a week of training. I was already two years older still when I took that job. There were contract employees who were nearly 80.

Whatever the law, they can eventually get away with what they want to. I learned the only solution was to find another job. Leaving is the only option when they start laying on. That is what I think.

While we may win battles in the workplace, we will never win the war. The key is knowledge of rights and benefits. Like you guys have provided to CB here.

I will tell you another quick story, from when I was young. I was a waitress. There was a union. There was a specifically negotiated pay per shift. The boss was not abiding.

I went to the union.

I got let go, because the boss said I was reading a book on the job.

PS. I was. There was no business. The restaurant had been newly opened. After I set up all the tables and got everything else in order, I sat in the back watching the door. One time, I picked up a book. The bartender saw me and that was the basis for firing me.

I was young. It was a good lesson on how the game is played.

 

[GoingNorth]

Copa, I was never accused of being a boss' mistress, which is vastly amusing as the director i worked for at the job I was forced out of (as was he) was the man i dumped for the guy who later became my husband.

It was good thing we both had good senses of humor as otherwise it could've been rather awkward.

Of course, by the time i went to work for him, We both were in in our late thirties, happily married, he with kids, and we'd been young teens who had dated for about 8 mos and found that each of us was too high maintenance for the other.

It was a civil and friendly breakup. Luckily, both his wife and my husband thought the fact that we'd wound up with one of us working for the other was hilarious, so there was no jealousy involved.

My mother, however, was forced out of her company on a "morals violation", having been accused of having an affair with a higher up. It was very ugly and almost destroyed her emotionally. The man involved nearly died after a failed suicide attempt. He wound up losing his family over the accusations, which were totally false.

My mother could've retired comfortably from that company at 65 with a full pension and with that and SSA, could've had a very comfortable retirement.

As it was, she worked for a bank until she was 76, and scrapes by on partial pensions and SSA. She is still bitter about what was done to her, and warned me about the same happening to me when i first went into management.

 

[Copabanana]

That is a sad story about your Mother and all too common.

We are really all so vulnerable as we age. I feel it too. I am not the person I was 3 years ago, but that is largely due to my stopping work to care for my mother, her death, and my response.

Added on top of that: Problems with my son.

That is why the cruelty of CB's situation is so resonant and so real. Her life goes on as all of this happens. Her anxieties about surviving economically, her worries about her children and their issues, her own issues.

How can people be so cruel? There are individual choices, here. In my case, in yours, in hers.

What makes it worth it to hurt your fellow like these people choose to do? I hold each of them personally responsible.

COPA

 

[DoneDad]

Sorry for your situation. I worked as a teacher for 31 years and experienced my share of bad administrators. The thing with vice principals is that they are trying to move up the ladder and make a name for themselves. This idiocy of calling all the e-contacts is just so they'll have something to brag about in their next interview. They don't care that it's impossible and isn't doing anything to benefit the students. The good thing about administrators is that they come and go, and their idiot pet projects go with them. In the meantime you have to survive in your job. If you are in California you should be in the classified employees union. File a grievance. Are other schools in your district implementing the same policy? It sounds like just your school is.

 

[A dad]

Our schools here have automated phone calls that go out when a student is absent...or when the sky is blue, it is raining...seriously, we get about two calls a day about the most mundane things. It drives me bananas!! So thankful this is youngest's last year of school...

Really not a joke?

 

[Feeling Sad]

Yes. My district has automated phone calls for reminders of early dismissals, the start of standardized testing, emergencies, i.e.fire evacuations, locked downs, and most recently...power outage, only 1 hour before school was out.

Our district sends home a form with the student's name, , via the teacher, for a parent to sign and state the reason for the absence. They get their tax money and people aren't bothered. They just started doing this 2 years ago.

 

[GoingNorth]

Copa, there is a certain ant of earnings allowed per month without it affecting SSDI benefits. It used to be 700 dollars. I think it's gone up a bit, but it certainly isn't 1700 dollars.

Over the limit, the amount earned is deducted from benefits.

CB and any others interested in SSA benefits, please visit www.ssa.gov., the information regarding current .ules, benefits, and even paperwork, are all available at that website.

I do advise, going with an attorney specializing in SSA law if you apply. There is no fee to you. If you are awarded benefits, the attorney takes his/her fee from your back pay. If you are not, the attorney isn't paid.

Also, you very likely WILL be turned down on first application. My case went was denied 3 times. I appealed until my case went before a judge, vocational specialist, and forensic psychologist. It was decided in my favor at that point.

hth
GN

 

[Californiablonde]

I have been interested in applying for disability for several years. I have been told that to qualify, I need to be not working for a whole year. That is just not possible. My only other option is to find a different job. Not only am I looking in my district, but I am also looking in other nearby districts as well. Difficult child is very unhappy at the school I work at. If I do get another job at another school, he is requesting that he be transferred to the new school. He seriously hates the school THAT much. So we are both unhappy, and I am praying hard something else works out for me. Thank you all so much for your information and support. I really need it right now.

 

[Lil]

I have been told that to qualify, I need to be not working for a whole year.

Actually, you need to be found to be unable to work for at least one year. A lot of people qualify because they have gotten injured or an illness has progressed so that they can no longer work, but they haven't been out of work for more than a little while. However, that does mean you can't be currently working. So either way, you'd have to be out of work for a while, that is true. I hope you find a job you are better suited for soon.

 

[GoingNorth]

Yes, the not working for a year is a huge issue. Check and see if you have to be out of work for a year at time of first application, or out of work for a year at time of first collection of benefits. I had been out of work for over a year when I applied, but I had a small VA widows' pension coming in, and that, with food pantry and energy assistance, etc., enabled me to survive (barely)

I THINK, the way it worked is that I had to be disabled for at least a year before applying. As I recall, my disability date was calculated back to a specific incident that occurred while I was still working. (I was written up and in writing informed that if an incident due to my disability occurred again, I would be terminated) I had proof in writing of that incident that was included when I went before the judge.

Check with an attorney or ssa.gov for the current rules.

 

[Copabanana]

I agree with everybody else. You can file a disability claim right now, I think (if you have that benefit.) The next time you have to be off work because of illness/disability, you can file a claim. Even if you are only off for one day. Nobody knows if the illness will continue or not. That claim establishes the beginning date. So the clock will run while you are working. But again, verify every single bit of this. I am speaking from knowledge gained years ago. In my own State.

I hope all of this is not overwhelming.

Somebody suggested you contact your Employee Benefits Coordinator to check your potential benefits. You would say, as they suggested, that you are getting around to trying to understand what you could be qualified for if one day you need it. You can ask for an explanation of every potential benefit in writing. Go back and ask questions if you do not understand something.

They will not tell you your benefits. It does not benefit them.

I remember there was a way to get 3/4 of my salary off work, while ill. I discovered it, used it, and told a coworker who got breast cancer. Had she not known she would have received half the money she would have.

The other thing to realize is that you may qualify for workers compensation. If you can get a benefit while off work for a year, you can qualify that way. And possibly it could be supplemented by assistance for the kids through public benefits, or food stamps.

The hard thing is when you feel bad and anxious and maybe depressed, it is hard to get the perspective to weigh these things and pursue them. I know that.

Of course you could be in a work classification that does not have eligibility for State Disability or even Workers Compensation. That is why it is important to understand what benefits you do have. So there is a solid base to begin from.

Even if you find another job the knowledge you gain could help you in the future.

Baby step by baby step.

You are doing it.

 

[Feeling Sad]

I had mentioned checking out your benefits at the district, for future reference. Do not say a thing. Just research in 'case you need it'. You need to know your coverage and benefits. Be armed with specifics.

I did that BEFORE my brain surgery. Before, I told the district about my tumor.

Be educated about all of your rights...stay quiet and research!

 

[Feeling Sad]

You are correct, Copa. I wrote earlier about the district short changing me on my pay for missed work while I was out for my brain surgery. My friend caught it...not me. Okay...cranitomy. Or rather...on drugs after said cranitomy.

She fought for me and I won. The district was hoping that it would just slip by...

 

[AppleCori]

Does your son hate his school, Cali, or is it your daughter that hates the school?

I know your daughter doesn't like school, but I was hoping that your son was doing OK.

 

[Californiablonde]

Apple my son hates his school. I have asked him why several times, and his answers don't make much sense. I guess that's an Asperger's kid for you. Anyway, he really wants to transfer to the district that we moved from three years ago to be with his old friends. He has friends here, but he says most of them don't talk to him anymore since they started high school. He also doesn't care for several of his teachers. I am disappointed in the way this school year is turning out. I hate my new boss, difficult child is still missing school due to her medical issues plus insomnia, and easy child hates our school. Talk about stress overload.

 

[AppleCori]

I am sorry so many things are going wrong right now.

Your poor son. If his friends won't talk to him anymore, they probably aren't his friends anymore. No wonder he doesn't like it there. Does he still keep in touch with the old friends from his old school?