my meeting tonight

Discussion in 'Healthful Living / Natural Treatments' started by Loving Abbey 2, May 16, 2008.

  1. Loving Abbey 2

    Loving Abbey 2 Not really a Newbie

    So tonight was the second time I have gone to the Adult Children of Alcoholics and other dysfunctional families meeting. Tonight went over step one and was about admitting that you were powerless over the effect of your family history and that your life had become unmanagable.

    And for the first time I have realized that my life has been unmanagable for some time. I've always been an over achiever, which has really helped with being a mom of a difficult child. I've never really felt like my life was unmanagable, I've always found a way to be in control of the chaos and create stability. I managed my life completely.

    For some time I've been living in crisis mode, first my marriage turning verbally abusive, my overly stressful job, s2bx been taken out of the house by the police, dealing with having to be a single parent again, then difficult child in the psychiatric hospital, stepmom being diagnosis with an aggressive form of skin cancer that actually burrows into the body, etc.

    At this point, I go to work--hating most days, come home with very unstable difficult child, and once she gets to sleep, I go to bed with my laptop and that's it. I don't want to be awake because it's too much to have to think about my day and what tomorrow will bring. Maybe this could be called unmanagable-- and that's an idea that doesn't bother me as much as I would think. And sitting there with these people is actually comforting, they are very much like me or I'm like them.

    And the best part is that it's about me, as a person, who I am, where I've come from and how to help myself be better---NOT about being a difficult child's mom. I'm not sure if this program will work for me, but I'm going to go whenever I can get someone to watch difficult child for the 2 hours.
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    So good that you have found a place to reconnect with yourself. Before there was difficult child there was you. We need to be true to ourselves and find ways to meet our personal needs and hobbys. I vowed when I had kids that I would not stop being me and I would continue to do what I like to do (shopping, scrapbooking, volunteering, etc.) When you have kids, you don't stop being you, you just add more to your world.
  3. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I need to do something like this for myself. As someone who has PTSD and comes from a huge family of Addicts... I to have always felt like always was in control...
    Good for you. i do know those feeling all too well. Even though I am in a great marriage. There are other things. Oh I got issues!!! LOL
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    the ladies are absolutely right. You need to do this for yourself. It is so easy to get so wrapped up in the difficult child issues that we forget who we are. We can't ever forget.

    I hope you are able to work a schedule with someone so that you can attend weekly. Good for you for taking back some control in you life.