My mother called the police

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by [email protected], Aug 20, 2019.

  1. Misty@0545

    [email protected] New Member

    Well tonite was horrible my son started freaking out because i had no money for him. My poor mother called the police after he told her to go die with her husband. He wanted to take items that i purchased and sell them at the pawn shop for one third of what i can could get for it on ebay(game systems). I bought yes for him and i wouldnt allow him to so he threatened to break it. He chased my two cats in a corner under the bed ,one is sick and older. The police had him leave and go to a friends house and said he could come back later if there was no problem
     
  2. WiseChoices

    WiseChoices Active Member

    Good for your Mom. Something needed to happen. You must be so shaken up . I don't have to tell you that his behavior is completely unacceptable. The way he is demanding money it is clear he has a drug problem. Have you thought about what action you might take in order to keep yourself safe?
     
  3. Misty@0545

    [email protected] New Member

    No i havent thought about that. I dont understand how someone csn go so insane over MJ. I smoked as a young adult and never behaved that way. The police suggested not throwing him out but told him to get a job and save his money to move out
     
  4. WiseChoices

    WiseChoices Active Member

    He is not just on MJ. You yourself posted he is on pills and lean. People who only do MJ do not terrorize their Mothers for money. How old is he ? You may have mentioned it but I forgot.

    You are responsible for your own physical well being. Your safety is your right as a person. Please start thinking of some action steps to take to ensure your safety and well being.
     
  5. BusynMember

    BusynMember Active Member

    I doubt he is only smoking pot, but that doesn't really matter at this point. Your safety does.

    Just like in Al Anon, I will not tell you what to do. I will say, without a doubt, that if your son were mine he would never live with me again. If he told my mother to die and threatened me and my husband for any reason, he would not be able to live with us. We are kind people and, as our history shows, would probably start off paying for his new place, but last night would have been the end of him being in our house . Kay is not allowed to live with us and she has done less. The police go home to a safe haven. I don't know why they told you not to make your son leave.

    Maybe I am just being sensitive, but nobody, my children included, can scare or tell my mother what your son did. And you are worthy of being safe. Just some things to think about.

    God bless.
     
  6. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    I agree it sounds like more than pot. Did you tell the police about his threats? If you did they should have talked about other options than him staying in the home. Yes take care of your safety.
     
  7. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    I agree. I would not let him come back either.

    Where will he go, what will he do, what will he eat, will he die out there alone?

    I'm sure that is what you think but he has to learn that he cannot treat people the way he is treating you. He has to learn how to live in this world and he probably is choosing to learn the hard way like my son did.

    I strongly believe that he needs to go to rehab and then to sober living and be on his own. We told our son he could not live with again until he went to rehab. We did that several times and he changed for a short time but then regressed. That is why we finally sent him away.

    I'm sorry to say but this will continue unless you put a stop to it. He probably will use stronger and stronger substances (like mine did).

    I think we predicted he'd ramp it up. Remember we've been there!

    Learn from our mistakes. Please.

    Hugs and prayers for your strength. We are here for you!!
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2019
  8. JayPee

    JayPee Sending good vibes...

    Misty,
    My heart goes out to you. You will have to delve into your heart to find the answers but these longer-time members than me have a lot of wisdom, knowledge and strength that I would lean on if I were you.

    I have put my son out in the past (both of them) only to take them back again. The anguish and pain over their emotional and physical discomfort and of course, the ol' guilt that Mom's seem to inherently have were the reasons I did.

    Honestly, until I had the courage and strength (many times later and many visits from the police later) to detach from both of them and not allow them into my home, (even till this day/for now until changes that I see fit have taken place) I did not have any long lasting recovery.

    What I do know is that when our "family" at the time got divided (final straw) and everyone was out of their comfort zone. Meaning, until they couldn't just sleep until 3:00 pm everyday, play video games, smoke MJ or other drugs in our home, bring all sorts of characters into our home, sell MJ to "such characters" and have total and utmost disrespect to us...nothing changed.

    I didn't realize that by fixing and polishing all of our troubles, they remained hidden even by me to some degree. Until they "couldn't" be hidden any longer.

    When problems are exposed, in my opinion, this can be the catalyst to begin working on making the situation better. Even if the other parties involved, like your son and my sons, don't seem to do anything in the moment to make their lives better, "we" can begin to make the changes for ourselves to bring peace and healing into our homes.

    I can tell you that my life is so much better now that I don't worry the police will be at my home for some argument or altercation due to their blatent disrespect or obstruction of the law. My home is where I can pray, meditate, read good materials to inspire, uplift me and inform me or just do nothing at all. But the point is I can focus on me. Yes, both sons calls me selfish and are always angry and spewing something verbally nasty at me. I've resolved to the fact that they may never say to me someday..."Mom, I know you did the right thing" and I'm OK with that.

    It's my life and I'm learning, slowly that I matter too.

    I hope you can work towards that too.
     
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