I've posted before about my daughter, got some great advice. However, the thread was hijacked a bit and eventually closed. I have changed my user name on the advice of a person who was concerned my username of choice was very identifiable. SO... I have been up since three, not getting too much sleep the last few days. Of course I was asleep at 10 so it's not really as bad as it sounds. My daughter is currently unemployed and has been for a year and a half. She has been living off of her boyfriend and he is now out of the picture. Truth be told, he didn't much like to work and they subsisted on his disability money from the government. She just makes it so hard for me to figure out a way to help her. Clearly giving her things doesn't help in the least. Yesterday when I went over to give her a little moral support, she opened her side door to the enclosed area where she keeps her bike to take out the recycling. And there I saw the vacuum cleaner I had given her. I saw the piece of luggage I had given her. Out in the elements deteriorating. Just walking around her little place I saw all sorts of things that I had given her, things that I didn't use and I don't regret giving them to her but there sat the French press in pieces. The mini and the monitor covered in dust. I've lived without a job, many people have lived without a job. Did we live in the same conditions the same squalor the same neglect? I don't know, I can't say. Anyway I took a couple of loads of laundry home yesterday to wash since her washing machine is broken. Her clothes literally smell. I'm going to drop them off today and probably pick up towels which I'm sure have not been washed in over six months. She gave no indication of going to a laundromat since things with the washing machine went south. How do you help someone like that, how do you not feel sorry for someone like that? How do you not do the little things like laundry that cost you nothing more than time and dollar and electricity? How do you not extend kindnesses in the hopes that they'll pick themselves up and fix their life? There was a letter on her coffee table from the government agency that deals with welfare and food stamps. It said that she needs to call for a phone interview by June 10. That's today and as of yesterday she had not called. After that she needs written statements from people that have been paying her bills. So I sat down and wrote a short statement and I had her Dad write a short letter as well. She has to send those things in and God knows she doesn't even have an envelope to put them in. I know this little things pale in comparison to those whose children are abusing them, stealing from them, and much worse. I need all of you to kick my butt into realizing I am the worst sort of enabler. If you remember some of my previous thread, my daughter left home for seven years without a word. Now she has been back for almost five years and I don't see any progress. It should be known that she rarely asks me for any help, I see things and I decide to take care of these things on my own.