Aidensgrandma
New Member
Hi everyone,
I'm new here and hopefully someone can give me some advice on if I am worrying too much, or not enough.
My son is 38, had a son with a 21 year old girl, Ali......they both did drugs, but she did not during pregnancy, I am told.
Our grandson, Aiden, will be 3 in February.
Since our son, the 38 year old has been in prison 4 times for drug related issues, he probably wasn't the best choice to father a child, but that is behind us now.
Anyway, our son is a deadbeat dad, very rarely sees his son.
My husband and I, married 42 years, are trying to help the child's mother, she works, and also attends college to become a teacher.
My husband or I pick Aiden up from daycare mostly 4, 5 days a week. And keep him until his mother is home, cause her college classes, supposedly, are only offered in the evening.
She lives with HER mother, and her 14 year old hyperactive, on medications, half brother, who won't even LOOK at our grandson.
Now, the issue, and sorry if this is lengthy.......
Since Aiden has been 7 months old, he cries whenever he is taken to the other grandmoms house.
We thought, ah, maybe separation anxiety...whatever......
It has NEVER stopped. He does not want to go back to that house.
If his mother comes here, he will hit her, tell her to go away...scream...etc.
EVERY single time.
He has never appeared happy to see her. MY kids ran to me when they were little.
Daycare says Aiden is only happy when we pick him up. Not his mother or other grandma.
Since the start of this at 7 months old, I have felt there was some issue going on...but not sure what. I'm still not sure.
Now, today, the babymomma calls me, and says they are putting grandson in a special class due to his acting out, kicking, hitting, spitting.......etc.
He is also refusing to be potty trained, even bribery is not helping........(m&m's lol) But we're not pushing it at all.
Unfortunately, I cannot see what is going on in that house.
I am not sure if 14 year old half Uncle is verbally abusing him, or if the problem is, no consistency.
My husband and I, retired, live in Canada for the Summer. We came home early this year related to the grandsons acting out.
We were going to Florida for the Winter, but cancelled that to care for grandson.
I realize we cannot fix these problems, we are going to Canada this summer, and I have offered to take grandson for 6 weeks, and bring him back home, (a 10 1/2 hour drive one way)so baby momma could perhaps catch up on classes. She is a year back related to getting mixed up with my son.
I am a retired Pediatric Registered Nurse, and my husband is a retired aeronautical engineer.
We just cannot grasp what is going on, or what we can do within our power to help grandson.
can someone give me some insight?
The babymomma is taking baby to Pediatrician...but he's not going to solve anything.
I even suggested a recorder for in the house when she's not home........so she can hear what is going on with half brother.
I do know for a fact her mother was very unhappy she did not have an abortion, and speaks strangely about her daughter.
Like "I can't wait for her to move."........"she had the child, it's her responsibility"........but when I am there she seems kind and loving towards grandson, although he doesn't want to go to her either.......
Please help.
Thank you
Diane
I'm new here and hopefully someone can give me some advice on if I am worrying too much, or not enough.
My son is 38, had a son with a 21 year old girl, Ali......they both did drugs, but she did not during pregnancy, I am told.
Our grandson, Aiden, will be 3 in February.
Since our son, the 38 year old has been in prison 4 times for drug related issues, he probably wasn't the best choice to father a child, but that is behind us now.
Anyway, our son is a deadbeat dad, very rarely sees his son.
My husband and I, married 42 years, are trying to help the child's mother, she works, and also attends college to become a teacher.
My husband or I pick Aiden up from daycare mostly 4, 5 days a week. And keep him until his mother is home, cause her college classes, supposedly, are only offered in the evening.
She lives with HER mother, and her 14 year old hyperactive, on medications, half brother, who won't even LOOK at our grandson.
Now, the issue, and sorry if this is lengthy.......
Since Aiden has been 7 months old, he cries whenever he is taken to the other grandmoms house.
We thought, ah, maybe separation anxiety...whatever......
It has NEVER stopped. He does not want to go back to that house.
If his mother comes here, he will hit her, tell her to go away...scream...etc.
EVERY single time.
He has never appeared happy to see her. MY kids ran to me when they were little.
Daycare says Aiden is only happy when we pick him up. Not his mother or other grandma.
Since the start of this at 7 months old, I have felt there was some issue going on...but not sure what. I'm still not sure.
Now, today, the babymomma calls me, and says they are putting grandson in a special class due to his acting out, kicking, hitting, spitting.......etc.
He is also refusing to be potty trained, even bribery is not helping........(m&m's lol) But we're not pushing it at all.
Unfortunately, I cannot see what is going on in that house.
I am not sure if 14 year old half Uncle is verbally abusing him, or if the problem is, no consistency.
My husband and I, retired, live in Canada for the Summer. We came home early this year related to the grandsons acting out.
We were going to Florida for the Winter, but cancelled that to care for grandson.
I realize we cannot fix these problems, we are going to Canada this summer, and I have offered to take grandson for 6 weeks, and bring him back home, (a 10 1/2 hour drive one way)so baby momma could perhaps catch up on classes. She is a year back related to getting mixed up with my son.
I am a retired Pediatric Registered Nurse, and my husband is a retired aeronautical engineer.
We just cannot grasp what is going on, or what we can do within our power to help grandson.
can someone give me some insight?
The babymomma is taking baby to Pediatrician...but he's not going to solve anything.
I even suggested a recorder for in the house when she's not home........so she can hear what is going on with half brother.
I do know for a fact her mother was very unhappy she did not have an abortion, and speaks strangely about her daughter.
Like "I can't wait for her to move."........"she had the child, it's her responsibility"........but when I am there she seems kind and loving towards grandson, although he doesn't want to go to her either.......
Please help.
Thank you
Diane