Need advice

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by unc tarheel, Mar 11, 2014.

  1. unc tarheel

    unc tarheel New Member

    I am glad that I found this site and forum. Here is the situation. My ds who is 6, was recently given a diagnosis of ADHD with underdeveloped/ immature social skills. I believe that he has also has other issues. Let me explain. Today my husband and received a phone call for us to come and pick him up from school. He locked himself in the bathroom and would not come out. The asst principal tried to get him out, and ds hit and kicked him and also tried to bite him. He said that he wanted to "go home". This whole incident started when his helper (a fellow student) wanted to help someone else. Ds beloved that fellow student didn't like him anymore and hated him. Ds said that he now hated fellow student and wanted to hurt her. Ds has a hard time understanding that children change their minds and to not take it personally.

    Ds is on new medication (been on for 9 days). This behavior is not new, so I don't think it is the medication. We have have been referred to a pediatric developmental/behavioral doctor, but the wait is at least a month before we can get an appointment. I am at my wits end. His school has been supportive and understanding, however, if he has other outbursts like this he could be suspended or expelled. I am looking into getting him in to see a psychologist while we wait on the referral........
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Do you have access to a neuro/psychiatric group? It really can be worth the money. Sending hugs. been there done that. DDD
  3. Castle Queen

    Castle Queen Warrior in training

    Does your DS have an IEP? If not, I'd be starting the wheels in motion to get one. Send a letter to the director of special education in your district requesting an evaluation ASAP. (Wright's Law and this site have helped me tremendously in that department as far as what to say, who to send it to, what my child's rights are. Start reading!) This does not negate what you are doing on your own. You may need help from different angles. How is DS at home? Do you think the ADHD diagnosis is correct?
  4. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    Request a full initial evaluation from the school in writing. Send it certified mail. There is a sample letter in the archives, I believe. Basically you are requesting he be evaluated for special education services due to his diagnosis of ADHD and the issues he is having at school.

    What you are describing with him getting so upset about the student helper wanting to help someone else is emotional control and is an area under executive functioning which in my opinion is the umbrella disorder that ADHD falls under. Google those terms. Here is a good document I recently found (check out page 9): Education/ExecutiveFunctioning.pdf

    You need an IEP and the school needs to handle situations like the one you described in a way that will not escalate the behavior. Giving him a place and time to cool off, etc. Also, by calling you to come and pick him up, it actually reinforced his behavior meaning it will likely happen again if he wants to go home.
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey unc. Welcome to the board! You son sounds like mine years ago - I used to go and pick him up several times a week at his "high point"!

    You have found a place where we understand. I also suggest a full evaluation at school -- sounds like they are working with you since he has a "buddy". A Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) should probably be included with the IEP since it sounds as if he has some behavioral issues where there is a some insight into the triggers. A good IEP and BIP, understanding staff, a good therapist, the right medications, behavior mod at home, and consistent expectations with follow-through consequences made a difference, over time, with my son. On the downside of his senior year of high school, it's hard to square the young man he is today with the raging, troubled little boy he was.

    Early intervention at home and school are the best indicators of future success.

  6. unc tarheel

    unc tarheel New Member

    Thank you everyone! I really appreciate it. We already have a 504 plan, but have already started the ball rolling on an IEP. He has his first appointment with a therapist next week. FINALLY got the paperwork to fill out for the behavioral/ developmental neuro. As soon that is filled out and sent in, we can get an appointment for him. He has only been diagnosed for 2 months, and it has been a hard road.
    My husband and I know that there will be no quick fixes, and there will be trial and error. I have heard the most important thing is that everyone: parents, doctors, and teachers will need to be on the same page. We have alot of reading to do to prepare.