Amber,
What exactly do you mean by a day treatment program? I ask because in my experience it's a catch all term. I think it's far more important to define what kind of programming you want for your kiddo than to just go by what is in my humble opinion a generic term of "day treatment". What do you expect from the program? From your son? What happens if your son is noncompliant or rages during "day treatment"? When you figure out *exactly* what kinds of services you are hoping for, then I think the best place to start would be with- psychiatrist (actually, I had far more success with- social workers involved with- thank you's inpatient stays in terms of resources, programming, possible programs) in terms of what programs are available in your area. And since you've already run into the joy of having a kid at the age where he has to consent... what happens if he doesn't?
I think strugglingteens.com is the site Linda was referencing. Lists of schools and RTCs.
I have a lot of thoughts rumbling around in my head, but I also have a huge bias at this point in time. thank you has been in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) almost 7 years. I still remember how absolutely traumatized we were the first time Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was suggested and how it took another very long year of multiple admissions, multiple school placements, multiple medication changes, and even more incredibly violent outbursts before I followed through on the suggestion. It's never an easy choice and there are a lot of things that factor into the decision - placement options, funding, the age of the kiddo, what you have and haven't tried at home, safety. It's very individual and people have different tolerances.
Again... I think you're going to have the best chance of success at finding a program if you can really define what exactly you're looking for and then start researching choices.
Edited to add: I understand the psychiatrist saying Residential Treatment Center (RTC) might be the only thing that will force difficult child to change. Or I should say, I've heard that before. You know your kid best. How big is his checkbook? We were told that thank you would change when it became too expensive (emotionally and/or in quality of life) to stay the way he was. We were told that in 1999. It made *perfect* sense at the time. What none of us realized is that thank you's capacity for enduring a lousy quality of life knows no bounds. There are some kids, not all, who are unable/unwilling to make the necessary changes to live in an unlocked community. In spite of all the therapy and support and medication tweaking and endless opportunities to make better choices, they simply can't/won't. I'm not saying this to discourage you at all, but I think there can be the idea that Residential Treatment Center (RTC) will be a "cure". It isn't always.
Or as Rita, an old timer who walked through fire and then some with her difficult child, told me many years ago (paraphrasing): Remember, when difficult child comes home from Residential Treatment Center (RTC), he's *still* going to be a difficult child but hopefully one who can use the tools he's learned more effectively than when he left.
