TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
The neighbor (for whom easy child babysits who caught difficult child in her bedroom) stopped by early this evening.
As we were standing in the doorway, with-the door propped open, she whispered, "difficult child was in my drawer and I'm missing a lot of stuff--the whole drawerful."
I shut the door behind me and we stood outside in the rain so difficult child wouldn't hear.
I said, "Those were yours?" She said, "G-strings?" and I said yes. She said "There was a whole lot there--" and I interrupted and said, "It's expensive!"
Oh, I wish, wish, wish we hadn't thrown it in the psychiatric's trash. I'm going to call them tomorrow and see if the trash has been picked up. Otherwise, it's a gift cert. for Victoria's Secret for her.
I said "I thought he was in your closet." She said he was actually in her dresser drawer.
But, I digress.
She said her husband was so upset he was going to call the police and she had to calm him down.
I told her that if and when it happens again, go ahead and call the police. Her eyebrows shot up and I explained that we'd been having problems with-difficult child, we're in counseling, and that he does not understand boundaries.
She was worried about the police "because he's just a kid," but I told her he's at the age where he's got to learn that's what people do when people break in and steal stuff.
"What would you have done if it had been a stranger?" I asked her.
"Called the police."
"Right."
She was very upset, because our kids have grown up together and now her daughter, whose panties were also taken, does not want him around at all any more and he is banned off of their property.
easy child took them all to the mall today to give me a break because I had lunch with-a friend (only one friend locally know about this) and then went to bed with-a migraine. I really thought she was bringing difficult child back after lunch but easy child could shop in the middle of a hurricane so she lost track of time.
So I told the neighbor that he would not go along with-them to the mall or anywhere else and she was happy with-that.
She was so concerned about him and felt so sorry for me, she started to cry and then I started to cry. It must have been the look on my face when I said, "Go ahead and call the police. We've got to do something and make it work." Mostly, I was just trying to breathe as I talked.
easy child and I sat down with-difficult child after the neighbor left and told him.
He took it very well. His only physical reaction was to cross his arms across his chest, and of course, he denied the entire thing and said he was not in her drawer and he didn't know where the panties had come from. Boy, can he stonewall.
I said, "Do you remember taking them at all?"
He said, "No, I think they came from the laundry at camp."
I think it's both. I'll find out if I get the garbage bag back. Or I may never find out.
But I am concerned that after all this, he refuses to admit he took anything from anyone.
I told him that we love him and are very worried about him, and that he grew up with-S and now they are not friends any more.
He said he understood perfectly why they are upset and won't allow him on their property.
I told him that he had to work around the house to earn $ so I could pay back the neighbor. He started to get angry and shout that he didn't take anything of hers, so I then suggested he write them a short note apologizing that he has ruined their trust with-him, and that he is working on it. Short and sweet. And I will deliver it so he does not go on their property. He agreed to that.
I also told him that I cannot control what they tell other people so there's a chance it will fly around the neighborhood. He nodded and said he understood that. He seemed resigned to it.
He asked if that was it, we said yes, and he turned on his wrestling show.
As we were standing in the doorway, with-the door propped open, she whispered, "difficult child was in my drawer and I'm missing a lot of stuff--the whole drawerful."
I shut the door behind me and we stood outside in the rain so difficult child wouldn't hear.
I said, "Those were yours?" She said, "G-strings?" and I said yes. She said "There was a whole lot there--" and I interrupted and said, "It's expensive!"
Oh, I wish, wish, wish we hadn't thrown it in the psychiatric's trash. I'm going to call them tomorrow and see if the trash has been picked up. Otherwise, it's a gift cert. for Victoria's Secret for her.
I said "I thought he was in your closet." She said he was actually in her dresser drawer.
But, I digress.
She said her husband was so upset he was going to call the police and she had to calm him down.
I told her that if and when it happens again, go ahead and call the police. Her eyebrows shot up and I explained that we'd been having problems with-difficult child, we're in counseling, and that he does not understand boundaries.
She was worried about the police "because he's just a kid," but I told her he's at the age where he's got to learn that's what people do when people break in and steal stuff.
"What would you have done if it had been a stranger?" I asked her.
"Called the police."
"Right."
She was very upset, because our kids have grown up together and now her daughter, whose panties were also taken, does not want him around at all any more and he is banned off of their property.
easy child took them all to the mall today to give me a break because I had lunch with-a friend (only one friend locally know about this) and then went to bed with-a migraine. I really thought she was bringing difficult child back after lunch but easy child could shop in the middle of a hurricane so she lost track of time.
So I told the neighbor that he would not go along with-them to the mall or anywhere else and she was happy with-that.
She was so concerned about him and felt so sorry for me, she started to cry and then I started to cry. It must have been the look on my face when I said, "Go ahead and call the police. We've got to do something and make it work." Mostly, I was just trying to breathe as I talked.
easy child and I sat down with-difficult child after the neighbor left and told him.
He took it very well. His only physical reaction was to cross his arms across his chest, and of course, he denied the entire thing and said he was not in her drawer and he didn't know where the panties had come from. Boy, can he stonewall.
I said, "Do you remember taking them at all?"
He said, "No, I think they came from the laundry at camp."
I think it's both. I'll find out if I get the garbage bag back. Or I may never find out.
But I am concerned that after all this, he refuses to admit he took anything from anyone.
I told him that we love him and are very worried about him, and that he grew up with-S and now they are not friends any more.
He said he understood perfectly why they are upset and won't allow him on their property.
I told him that he had to work around the house to earn $ so I could pay back the neighbor. He started to get angry and shout that he didn't take anything of hers, so I then suggested he write them a short note apologizing that he has ruined their trust with-him, and that he is working on it. Short and sweet. And I will deliver it so he does not go on their property. He agreed to that.
I also told him that I cannot control what they tell other people so there's a chance it will fly around the neighborhood. He nodded and said he understood that. He seemed resigned to it.
He asked if that was it, we said yes, and he turned on his wrestling show.