Onesickmama
New Member
Well I was online browing for advice and stumbled across this site. Please offer any advice or suggestions you think will help. Here is my story....
My 19 y.o daughter has me worn so thin and at my wits end. It started about 5 years ago when her sister came to me after she found her sitting on her bed cutting herself. I had no idea my daughter was having any sort of problems at all but after doctor and counseling visits over the next couple of years she was diagnosis with depression and being bipolar, both which she began taking medication for. During those years of course things werent always easy and there were a few suicide attempts but I had her on the right path. She got her GED and had enrolled in cosmetology classes. Things were going quite well until she met (or as I later discovered) reconnected with this boy. He is a very controlling and violent person and unfortunately has turned her into the same. About 6 weeks before she turned 18, she called me crying and told me she had done something terrible and had taken alot of benedryl. I rush home to find 3/4 of a costco size benedryl bottle empty. We rush her to the ER and after they take care of her medically they keep over night and were to determine further treatment in the morning since it was a suicide attempt. The next day they sent her home since she wasnt that much of a danger to herself. (later I found the benedryl pills hidden in he room). The next week I got a call to come pick her and her car up because her boyfried was driving it and got pulled over because an officer saw them pulled into an alley and he wassmoking weed (she was not). He walked but when the officer and I were talking we decided to go get a no contact order so he could stay away from her since he was clearly a bad influence. This freaked my daughter out and she started making threats so needless to say it landed her a week at an inpatient facility.
A couple weeks later, at midnight the day she turned 18, she walked out the front door. Everything has gone downhill from here. She is so into this boyfriend that she lets him control her. She dropped out of cosmetology because he was jealous of the boys in the class. She has cut ties with all her friends because he doesnt allow her to talk to them. She has even stopped talking to an aunt because he told her the aunt said something to him that she had not. On more than one occassion m daughter has called me for medical assistance because he has beat up on her. She has had very visible bruising, cut lip, and even chipped teeth from him but she refuses to press charges and there are no witnesses so he gets away with all of it.
This spring he held her down and in an attempt to get up she ripped his shirt. When she tried to leave he took her keys and she told him if he didnt give them back she was going to punch him. He recorded these words on his cell phone and pressed charges aganst her. She has now been charged with DV. I thought for sure this would have been the wake up call but it wasnt. Numerous times she calls me asking me to come help her get her stuff cuz she needs to get away from him. Last month she was arrested again for DV because she scratched his arm in an attempt to escape and he pressed charges but was let go when it was determined there wasnt enough of a case. When she got out of jail, she was right back with him. Besides all of this we have now been missing things around the house. My coin jar was found empty in her room, money missing from her sisters room, a huge jug of coins taken from her grandparents found in the trunk of her car, money missng from grandmas purse more than once and only when shes around, and I have even found pawn shop slips in her room for jewelry items which I have no idea what jewelry it was and now the family wii is missing. I really feel the boyfriend is the cause of this because if he wants something he demands she get it and she wants to do it or he becomes violent, but know she is making the choice to be in the situation.
I cant take it anymore. I provide a car including gas and insurance for her so she can go to school even though I have suspicion she is not going, a cell phone, all food, clothing, shelter, and on occassion money for manicure or a movie. I am paying for all her medical needs and court costs. I live my life alone waiting for the next phone call to come help her. If I question something she yells and cusses at me but has no problem asking for help moments later. I dont want to enable her to remain this way but dont have the strength to turn my back and watch her fail, which is why I am here.
Thank you for listening snd please help!
My 19 y.o daughter has me worn so thin and at my wits end. It started about 5 years ago when her sister came to me after she found her sitting on her bed cutting herself. I had no idea my daughter was having any sort of problems at all but after doctor and counseling visits over the next couple of years she was diagnosis with depression and being bipolar, both which she began taking medication for. During those years of course things werent always easy and there were a few suicide attempts but I had her on the right path. She got her GED and had enrolled in cosmetology classes. Things were going quite well until she met (or as I later discovered) reconnected with this boy. He is a very controlling and violent person and unfortunately has turned her into the same. About 6 weeks before she turned 18, she called me crying and told me she had done something terrible and had taken alot of benedryl. I rush home to find 3/4 of a costco size benedryl bottle empty. We rush her to the ER and after they take care of her medically they keep over night and were to determine further treatment in the morning since it was a suicide attempt. The next day they sent her home since she wasnt that much of a danger to herself. (later I found the benedryl pills hidden in he room). The next week I got a call to come pick her and her car up because her boyfried was driving it and got pulled over because an officer saw them pulled into an alley and he wassmoking weed (she was not). He walked but when the officer and I were talking we decided to go get a no contact order so he could stay away from her since he was clearly a bad influence. This freaked my daughter out and she started making threats so needless to say it landed her a week at an inpatient facility.
A couple weeks later, at midnight the day she turned 18, she walked out the front door. Everything has gone downhill from here. She is so into this boyfriend that she lets him control her. She dropped out of cosmetology because he was jealous of the boys in the class. She has cut ties with all her friends because he doesnt allow her to talk to them. She has even stopped talking to an aunt because he told her the aunt said something to him that she had not. On more than one occassion m daughter has called me for medical assistance because he has beat up on her. She has had very visible bruising, cut lip, and even chipped teeth from him but she refuses to press charges and there are no witnesses so he gets away with all of it.
This spring he held her down and in an attempt to get up she ripped his shirt. When she tried to leave he took her keys and she told him if he didnt give them back she was going to punch him. He recorded these words on his cell phone and pressed charges aganst her. She has now been charged with DV. I thought for sure this would have been the wake up call but it wasnt. Numerous times she calls me asking me to come help her get her stuff cuz she needs to get away from him. Last month she was arrested again for DV because she scratched his arm in an attempt to escape and he pressed charges but was let go when it was determined there wasnt enough of a case. When she got out of jail, she was right back with him. Besides all of this we have now been missing things around the house. My coin jar was found empty in her room, money missing from her sisters room, a huge jug of coins taken from her grandparents found in the trunk of her car, money missng from grandmas purse more than once and only when shes around, and I have even found pawn shop slips in her room for jewelry items which I have no idea what jewelry it was and now the family wii is missing. I really feel the boyfriend is the cause of this because if he wants something he demands she get it and she wants to do it or he becomes violent, but know she is making the choice to be in the situation.
I cant take it anymore. I provide a car including gas and insurance for her so she can go to school even though I have suspicion she is not going, a cell phone, all food, clothing, shelter, and on occassion money for manicure or a movie. I am paying for all her medical needs and court costs. I live my life alone waiting for the next phone call to come help her. If I question something she yells and cusses at me but has no problem asking for help moments later. I dont want to enable her to remain this way but dont have the strength to turn my back and watch her fail, which is why I am here.
Thank you for listening snd please help!