OptimisticMe
New Member
Hi all,
I am new here, desperately looking for wisdom, advice and support. And hopefully someone to tell me what to do next.
My 13 year old step-daughter has severe Reactive Attachment Disorder. Her mom abandoned her when she was 5 and I had been raising her with my husband. After a series of counselors, we finally got a severe Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) diagnosis about a year ago (yeah, it took THAT long). She has spiralled out of control. She physically and emotionally hurt my bios (strangling them, kicking them into walls, verbally berating them and calling them names, etc). We found her mom and she wanted to go live with her (I was DONE by this point) so we let her. Her mom sent her back within 3 weeks, moved and changed her phone number. We put her in a treatment center...they only kept her a week and put her on Abilify and Lexapro...which helped with the violence...or she just learned to harness it so she wouldn't be sent to the hospital again. Her behaviors still escalate. She steals, will not follow a single rule (I mean that, she purposely breaks every one of them). She has had police looking for her and been arrested for running away. Anyways, I told my husband he could find somewhere else for her, we could divorce or he could move out with SD. His mom took her in.
Well, now after a couple of months, his mom has had enough. She wants us to take her back. I refuse! My kids and I don't deserve to have to live in fear. I honestly think she could kill one of them just to get at me. She hates me because I am the only one she cannot successfully manipulate, and she blames her mom leaving her on me.
So my question. What do we do? Where can we send her? We are a middle class family and although we have good insurance, it won't cover a long stay in Residential Treatment Center (RTC). We cannot afford more than $500/mo for treatment (and that would be really tough...my job isn't even stable right now).
I have already decided if CPS or the police try to make us take her back, I will threaten to hurt her. I am THAT serious about keeping her away from my kids!
I am new here, desperately looking for wisdom, advice and support. And hopefully someone to tell me what to do next.
My 13 year old step-daughter has severe Reactive Attachment Disorder. Her mom abandoned her when she was 5 and I had been raising her with my husband. After a series of counselors, we finally got a severe Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) diagnosis about a year ago (yeah, it took THAT long). She has spiralled out of control. She physically and emotionally hurt my bios (strangling them, kicking them into walls, verbally berating them and calling them names, etc). We found her mom and she wanted to go live with her (I was DONE by this point) so we let her. Her mom sent her back within 3 weeks, moved and changed her phone number. We put her in a treatment center...they only kept her a week and put her on Abilify and Lexapro...which helped with the violence...or she just learned to harness it so she wouldn't be sent to the hospital again. Her behaviors still escalate. She steals, will not follow a single rule (I mean that, she purposely breaks every one of them). She has had police looking for her and been arrested for running away. Anyways, I told my husband he could find somewhere else for her, we could divorce or he could move out with SD. His mom took her in.
Well, now after a couple of months, his mom has had enough. She wants us to take her back. I refuse! My kids and I don't deserve to have to live in fear. I honestly think she could kill one of them just to get at me. She hates me because I am the only one she cannot successfully manipulate, and she blames her mom leaving her on me.
So my question. What do we do? Where can we send her? We are a middle class family and although we have good insurance, it won't cover a long stay in Residential Treatment Center (RTC). We cannot afford more than $500/mo for treatment (and that would be really tough...my job isn't even stable right now).
I have already decided if CPS or the police try to make us take her back, I will threaten to hurt her. I am THAT serious about keeping her away from my kids!