violetta
New Member
Hi there, i'm new here and so scared and heartbroken for my daughter. We sent her to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) Friday night. She is 13 and will be 14 next month. The past two weeks have been an emotional hell. On Monday of last week, she forgot her lunch so i brought her some fast food. First thing she says to me is "you're late". That morning she had acted hateful to her dad. I asked her to follow me to my sister's classroom. (my sister works at the middle school she attends, which is awesome) i told her she could eat lunch in there and her aunt would give her an excuse. (this rarely ever happens she is not spoiled at school). Well my sister asked me what was wrong with my daughter and i said, i don't know but she acted hateful to her dad this morning. After i made that comment, she wouldn't stop crying. i kissed her head said i loved her and left. i figured once she ate her lunch she would feel better. She came home later that afternoon crying and wouldn't speak to me for 2 days. On Wednesday i discovered she sent a naked picture of herself to a boy. so i grounded her for that, took her computer and phone. So on Friday, things were ok. She had a good day at school. LAter that afternoon she got bored, and asked for her computer back. I said no, but then i told her she could play minecraft as long as she stayed in the living room and didn't get online. She was fine til we went to bed. I got up to use the restroom and found her online chatting to her boyfriend. I was so mad. I got on her computer and looked at what she was doing, she had sent pics of her arm, which she had carved the word HATE across her forearm, and a pentagram, and a bunch of slashes. I was mortified.
I immediately went into her room and looked at her arm. I started crying and asked why she would do that to herself. She cried and she said she hates me, always has since she was little, and is only nice to me because she knows that if i knew she hated me i wouldn't do things for her. It broke my heart into pieces. I told her our relationship will never be the same again, i know that was wrong, but i was just so hurt and still feel betrayed. So, she has been in the treatment center and today is our first family meeting. i am anxious and scared.
Background-we adopted her as an infant, and her birthmom picked us to be her parents. It was a private adoption. BM wanted no contact. We have always told her she was adopted since birth, always positive, always open and honest with her. I've shared as much as i know with her. As a child she didn't really seem to care, but lately it has become a big issue. She says if my bm didn't want me, why would anyone, etc. My mother is also adopted (she was actually in the TN home for Children with Georgia Tann.) My mom and my daughter have a special bond. I am happy that my daughter has my mom to talk about her feelings. The thing is, my mom was just diagnosed with liver failure, and is now on a transplant list. This happened only a month ago. I don't know if this is one reason why my daughter is feeling this way and acting out. My mom is very sick and taking a lot of drugs to detox her body. She has hepatic encephalitis. Somehow my mom contracted hepatitis. I cannot tell my mother about my daughter because she is too sick and it would break her heart. This is so hard.
My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD at 6 yo. and after several medications, she takes adderall 15 mg a day. The dr at the hospital is going to start her on either paxil or celexa for her depression. She has always been strong willed, and i've learned to pick my battles. as a child she had a speech problem and received therapy for it and she also has dyspraxia, (handwriting ) and received Occupational Therapist (OT) for that as well. she still has a hard time with it. but she is super smart and receives good grades in school, is currently in a play at school. i just hope i did the right thing by taking her to treatment. i don't want it to make her worse. thank you for any advice, i'm just so heartbroken.
I immediately went into her room and looked at her arm. I started crying and asked why she would do that to herself. She cried and she said she hates me, always has since she was little, and is only nice to me because she knows that if i knew she hated me i wouldn't do things for her. It broke my heart into pieces. I told her our relationship will never be the same again, i know that was wrong, but i was just so hurt and still feel betrayed. So, she has been in the treatment center and today is our first family meeting. i am anxious and scared.
Background-we adopted her as an infant, and her birthmom picked us to be her parents. It was a private adoption. BM wanted no contact. We have always told her she was adopted since birth, always positive, always open and honest with her. I've shared as much as i know with her. As a child she didn't really seem to care, but lately it has become a big issue. She says if my bm didn't want me, why would anyone, etc. My mother is also adopted (she was actually in the TN home for Children with Georgia Tann.) My mom and my daughter have a special bond. I am happy that my daughter has my mom to talk about her feelings. The thing is, my mom was just diagnosed with liver failure, and is now on a transplant list. This happened only a month ago. I don't know if this is one reason why my daughter is feeling this way and acting out. My mom is very sick and taking a lot of drugs to detox her body. She has hepatic encephalitis. Somehow my mom contracted hepatitis. I cannot tell my mother about my daughter because she is too sick and it would break her heart. This is so hard.
My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD at 6 yo. and after several medications, she takes adderall 15 mg a day. The dr at the hospital is going to start her on either paxil or celexa for her depression. She has always been strong willed, and i've learned to pick my battles. as a child she had a speech problem and received therapy for it and she also has dyspraxia, (handwriting ) and received Occupational Therapist (OT) for that as well. she still has a hard time with it. but she is super smart and receives good grades in school, is currently in a play at school. i just hope i did the right thing by taking her to treatment. i don't want it to make her worse. thank you for any advice, i'm just so heartbroken.