Hello- have been reading for a week or so through all the forums. Wow- I am so not alone this place is a Godsend. My son gets disability and SSI and I am currently his payee. Previously his Aunt was and prior to that a crooked attorney and a then a Priest who said " I can't do this anymore I am about to have a nervous breakdown from it.". The issue is son scams and lies to get money from his payee. If he doesn't get money throws a fit and bullies people emotionally. He was in jail in April due to a PPO placed on him by his crack whore girlfriend. He was told to stay away from her but contacted her and likewise she contacted him always for his money and drugs. He was rearrested again in July and did 34 days in jail. He lives in another state then me and is 1.5hrs from where I live. His Dad walked away years ago as he is embarrassed by his mentally impaired son, says he is hopeless as he lies and scams people (which is true on those descriptions). He missed his probation hearing in November for review; warrant out for his arrest now. Son left his state and went to another state back in October to get away from crack whore who verbally and physically abuses him. I and his Aunt have been scammed so much over the last 6 months for money. The lies, the scams are so believable. He hounds us until we give in. His latest lie/scam was Friday where he said he wants to go back home to his state where he has a warrant out and live with another guy friend. But I also know he keeps talking about the crack whore girlfriend he is obsessed with. He asked for the money to do so. He said I know don't agree with my decision but its what I want to do, go back home. I said you are 35 and your decisions are yours to make. I wired him the money to come home because in my thinking, I wanted him to get arrested so he could get help. If arrested I could tell his public defender that he needs a guardian to get him help and court would do so. Found out he never left. He called me and said I am here. I called him on his lie and still says every else is lying and he truly is telling the truth. I found out from contacts, including the friend he was going to stay with he never arrived. So yet again another lie and another money scam. I want to stop being his payee. If I do this, he will not have a payee, thus no funds. He refuses to use organizations because they will control his money; his friends are drug users or ex convicts. I want off the emotional train-wreck and know what I have to do but the "guilt" of leaving him without any money is hard to bite. He is 35 higher functioning mentally impaired man. Over the years he has refused to get any help. I found sober living places back in the fall, refused. I gave him info for payee and counseling, refused. His Aunt stopped being his payee after his jail time back in April as she just couldn't take the drama, bullying, showing up at her house demanding money. She lives in the state he did. I took over in summer of this year. Has anyone here made the hard decision to stop being a payee for their adult child. I am setting end of month as dead-line to walk away. I will give him his money and pay his rent for this month and tell him to find out his way. Oh he lied 3 times this month telling me he is his own payee. I said so I can close your bank account and he said yep. He can't be his own payee and he didn't even have ID as he lost it, which he always does. He told me that he tried it my way, getting away from crack whore but he wants to go back home. He said it is boring here, out in the country nothing to do, I am not use to living like this. By the way, he preaches the Bible, he does have a special gift for this from what I have been told by normal thinking folks he has brought to the Lord. He had a two year period about 5 years ago where he was calm, not in trouble and just went to Bible studies, etc. He can't work as he has anger, anxiety issues and quits his jobs. I will fill in his life to date at some point, just too drained to do so now.