lettinggo4now
New Member
I am new here today. I found the site by "when your child steals from you". I don't have advice I am still learning..as when I think it has changed..she slips away agian... I am glad to not feel alone any more. I just can't talk to others about this, they just don't understand..Heck I don't even understand.... I love her deeply, don't know who she is anymore. She was very outgoing in show choir, marching band, winter guard etc..She and I were close...then she met this guy who introduced her to spice and she has never been the same. It made her a liar, and good at it. She graduated high school , 1 yr of college was good, the next flunked out. She stole pain medication. from us and "sold it" says she? when confronted. She began going on what I call long term overnights with friends who apparently support her as she can not keep a job. She likened it to um moving out? Goes from one place to the next..only home 10% of year. She pierced up her face;-( , ran away with a kid who was 17. Returned..says she is drug free..??? but she is not the daughter I raised for sure. Stole one of our cars, by climbing in window to get keys in a locked room (returned it) in her eyes she borrowed it. We changed the locks, we lock up everything in our room just in case she comes to visit...this week found she climbed in a window (we thought was locked), looked for car keys, found 400 dollars we had just won in a raffle and took it. I went to her confronting her, she denied it. I finally said if what is left is not returned I am going to the police..while we were gone she returned 150 of it.i..n a place I designated outside our home. She has a hard time facing us, only will text. When we happen to see her..when sometimes she appears the real daughter, she says she wants to come home, she is changing her ways, and makes plans with us..only to not show..In 1 day she spent 250 of the money and again only returned 150,but I hold to...at least she did??.. I am so sad, but hopeful one day.. we do not support her, we do not give her money and she is not allowed home to live until she truly turns her life around..still waiting. We bought her a car stipulating when she graduated from college we would change the title to her name..caught her driving high..took her car..that was 6 months ago. So everything she does is on foot or via someone else. We finally said ok, if you get a job hold it and can pay for insurance etc. you can have the car..3 months ago..still ..We are now considering getting rid of it and getting our son a car instead..is that wrong?? It is hard to feel you have to lock up tight, not for strangers, but because of family. ..it is like she is detached..she says drug free.. I say only drugs could make my daughter act this way..maybe I am wrong, but I don't want to believe the alternative, that she just is this way now. I read a book , The Prodigal Daughter a true story written by mother and daughter. It helped me to let go and give her to God no matter what happens, I have to. She is an adult, she does know better..she is making these choices..and I do not have to wear it.I do feel she does things, and then can't deal with it so she, escapes physically..or mentally and artificially. She continues to say "I make her feel worthless and that is why she doesn't come around"..I say..she has made herself feel worthless, she cont on this path, and she can not face what she has done. The broken promises, the stealing etc..and so..she moves further the other direction..She has the book, I only pray she reads it..it's her story at least very close, it took the girl in the story 4 years and almost losing her life before she got it. So I wait...with tough love and broken heart I wait