Robinboots
New Member
I just found this site while Googling for more information re my son, 15. I'm familiar with groups/boards but not this one yet!
Here's the story:
About 2 months ago my 15yo son told us his grades weren't going to be very good and he voluntarily quit his job (knowing we'd probably make him). After the grades came via email (since they mysteriously never appeared in the mailbox), we told him we were "starting over" and he was going to lose phone, laptop, and everything else from his room except bed, clothes, and books until we saw significant improvement and it was documented by teachers. A few weeks prior to this we had put him on a study schedule which obviously hadn't worked - the 12-wk grades showed him failing 5 out of 7 classes (that's Fs, not just "low" grades). He seemed fine with this.
The next morning I told him to start packing stuff and taking it to the garage. He refused. He repeatedly said things like "no", "I won't do it", "you can't make me", etc. Finally I said I'd do it. He followed me and did his best to undo everything I packed. I told him to go outside and stay there until I was done; he said fine, he was leaving. I said do not leave the yard. He said he was going and did (barefoot). Changed his mind, and talked to his dad on the phone (whom I had called) - instead of my hearing "yes sir" and "no sir", I heard just what he had said to me - no, no way, not gonna, etc. Knew we were in trouble.
He got his shoes, his phone, and left. Gone for three hours, did answer the phone but wouldn't say where he was. Came home, his room was done, and we asked for his phone. He refused. Dad took younger brother outside while I tried to talk to him and get the phone. Son went outside as well, yelling the whole time "don't touch me", "back off", etc. When he went around the corner and he and Dad started getting pretty heated, I called the police. They talked to him, a friend of ours (adult) came and got him a couple hours later, and he stayed overnight.
The next day, he came home and was fine for about 30 minutes. Then he started badgering me about his stuff, etc., got more and more verbal and cursing, threatening behavior, etc. I called the police again. This time we had three officers; juvie was full, the youth shelter was full, we took him to the hospital. for an evaluation; hospital. said he was no danger or in danger and had some depression. Right.
For the last two months it's been a struggle to sleep and be normal around here. He lies, sneaks, curses, trash talks us, tries to start fights with his Dad, has grabbed me a couple times, refuses to obey standard house/family rules, etc. I just can't really describe how bad this is. We have a quiet day or two, then he explodes.
He has also complained at school about us, which has opened a DFS case; we are in intensive home therapy, also thru the state, and he's seeing a counselor. We've met (back in Nov) with teachers and guidance counselor and principal. We've gotten him accepted to a military school two hours away, but haven't told him yet (altho he knows this is a possiblity as we did a tour two weeks ago, and that evening he said he needed help and they could help and he wants to go - now, he's changed his mind). We've also had the police here two more times because of violence or threatening behavior.
There's more, but isn't this enough?
Thoughts?
Here's the story:
About 2 months ago my 15yo son told us his grades weren't going to be very good and he voluntarily quit his job (knowing we'd probably make him). After the grades came via email (since they mysteriously never appeared in the mailbox), we told him we were "starting over" and he was going to lose phone, laptop, and everything else from his room except bed, clothes, and books until we saw significant improvement and it was documented by teachers. A few weeks prior to this we had put him on a study schedule which obviously hadn't worked - the 12-wk grades showed him failing 5 out of 7 classes (that's Fs, not just "low" grades). He seemed fine with this.
The next morning I told him to start packing stuff and taking it to the garage. He refused. He repeatedly said things like "no", "I won't do it", "you can't make me", etc. Finally I said I'd do it. He followed me and did his best to undo everything I packed. I told him to go outside and stay there until I was done; he said fine, he was leaving. I said do not leave the yard. He said he was going and did (barefoot). Changed his mind, and talked to his dad on the phone (whom I had called) - instead of my hearing "yes sir" and "no sir", I heard just what he had said to me - no, no way, not gonna, etc. Knew we were in trouble.
He got his shoes, his phone, and left. Gone for three hours, did answer the phone but wouldn't say where he was. Came home, his room was done, and we asked for his phone. He refused. Dad took younger brother outside while I tried to talk to him and get the phone. Son went outside as well, yelling the whole time "don't touch me", "back off", etc. When he went around the corner and he and Dad started getting pretty heated, I called the police. They talked to him, a friend of ours (adult) came and got him a couple hours later, and he stayed overnight.
The next day, he came home and was fine for about 30 minutes. Then he started badgering me about his stuff, etc., got more and more verbal and cursing, threatening behavior, etc. I called the police again. This time we had three officers; juvie was full, the youth shelter was full, we took him to the hospital. for an evaluation; hospital. said he was no danger or in danger and had some depression. Right.
For the last two months it's been a struggle to sleep and be normal around here. He lies, sneaks, curses, trash talks us, tries to start fights with his Dad, has grabbed me a couple times, refuses to obey standard house/family rules, etc. I just can't really describe how bad this is. We have a quiet day or two, then he explodes.
He has also complained at school about us, which has opened a DFS case; we are in intensive home therapy, also thru the state, and he's seeing a counselor. We've met (back in Nov) with teachers and guidance counselor and principal. We've gotten him accepted to a military school two hours away, but haven't told him yet (altho he knows this is a possiblity as we did a tour two weeks ago, and that evening he said he needed help and they could help and he wants to go - now, he's changed his mind). We've also had the police here two more times because of violence or threatening behavior.
There's more, but isn't this enough?
Thoughts?