G
gamijo
Guest
Hi everyone. I just found this site as I feel like I'm losing it with my daughter and have nowhere else to turn. I'm sorry if this jumps around, but my mind is a jumbled mess!
My daughter is 11 and is turning our home into a living nightmare. I am a single mother of her and I have a 4 year old who has his own special needs. My daughter has almost always been a handful, but nothing that I couldn't deal with until recently. When I had my son, my daughter was 1 month shy of turning 7 and was used to it just being me and her.
Not only did she have to deal with a new baby to take mommy away emotionally, he also took me away physically. He started having seizures at 10 days old and we spent alot of time in the hospital. I saw that it wasn't good for her and started her in counseling- that didn't work because she wouldn't really talk about anything.
So... fastforward to the summer that she was 9 years old. Towards the end of 4th grade she finally told me that she had been being bullied by 5 boys in school- both emotionally, verbally, and physically. since her 'father' isn't around, grandfathers are both deceased, and no males in her life, she thrived on the attention they gave her and kept coming back for more, so to speak. I went up to the school and flipped out! how could the teacher not notice this???
Well, 1 month later she attempted suicide and was placed in a child psychiatric ward for 6 days. I thought this would help with her depression. She has extremely low self- esteem, apparently hates everything about herself. But, being in there didn't help at all! She was 9 and was in groups with teenagers who were sexually active, into drugs, etc...
She came home and felt entitled like she didn't have to do any chores, listen to me, or anything. I let it go at first because I was so scared she would do something else if she got upset. Her psychiatric and counselor were not supportive at all. Towards the end of 5th grade I found out that she had been hurting 2 boys in particular- scratching, pinching, kicking... and that she would go into the bathroom at school and punch herself in the head and chest when other kids would make fun of her.
This was so disheartening! I called her counselor and made an emergency appointment that Monday. They said the didn't feel that she was 'hurting herself' and that it was progress (she never talks or tells me anything). However, how is it progress when the only reason she told me this stuff because I found out about what she was doing to those boys- she felt trapped. I found a new psychiatric and counselor who basically don't put up with her **** and seemed like they wanted to help! I was so relieved I actually cried in the office on the first visit!!!
My daughter is one who keeps it all together in school and at other people's houses, but explodes when she gets home. The school never believes me when I tell her what she's like at home- drives me crazy! on the first visit with the new counselor she threw a car at her brother- I was upset at first, but glad they got to see a snippet. Just last week I went to her counselor in tears. She went into a fit of rage and literally tore my house upside down, tried to throw me down the steps, and pushed her brother to the floor (aside from epilepsy, he is a stroke survivor and is developmentally delayed).
I ended up having to drag her out the door, locked it, and we both sat on the porch for almost an hour until she was able to gain control of herself. Life is insane anymore. Our lives end up being controlled by the way she feels for the day. I feel trapped. I"m alone in this struggle. I don't tell friends what life is like for us because I don't want her to be judged.
Like I said, and some of you can probably relate, she's a perfect angel (for the most part) when she's not at home. She's not a 'bad' kid, I just don't know what to do. Right now I"m at the point of sending her somewhere. I"m so tired of the fights- every single thing is a huge battle. I can't get her to do any chores, get out of bed in the morning, do anything. She is so defiant towards me it makes me want to rip all of my hair out!
The counselor's only suggestion was to keep trying to get her to talk. I don't have a support system, can't find a support group that meets locally, and don't know what to do or where to turn. She's on Prozac, which neither of us think is working, she's on adderall for ADHD but I don't think that's helping much either. We tried Strattera, but that made her beyond mean- she actually kicked her brother across the room!
I know our life isn't nearly as bad as it could be, but I just don't know what to do... HELP! please...
My daughter is 11 and is turning our home into a living nightmare. I am a single mother of her and I have a 4 year old who has his own special needs. My daughter has almost always been a handful, but nothing that I couldn't deal with until recently. When I had my son, my daughter was 1 month shy of turning 7 and was used to it just being me and her.
Not only did she have to deal with a new baby to take mommy away emotionally, he also took me away physically. He started having seizures at 10 days old and we spent alot of time in the hospital. I saw that it wasn't good for her and started her in counseling- that didn't work because she wouldn't really talk about anything.
So... fastforward to the summer that she was 9 years old. Towards the end of 4th grade she finally told me that she had been being bullied by 5 boys in school- both emotionally, verbally, and physically. since her 'father' isn't around, grandfathers are both deceased, and no males in her life, she thrived on the attention they gave her and kept coming back for more, so to speak. I went up to the school and flipped out! how could the teacher not notice this???
Well, 1 month later she attempted suicide and was placed in a child psychiatric ward for 6 days. I thought this would help with her depression. She has extremely low self- esteem, apparently hates everything about herself. But, being in there didn't help at all! She was 9 and was in groups with teenagers who were sexually active, into drugs, etc...
She came home and felt entitled like she didn't have to do any chores, listen to me, or anything. I let it go at first because I was so scared she would do something else if she got upset. Her psychiatric and counselor were not supportive at all. Towards the end of 5th grade I found out that she had been hurting 2 boys in particular- scratching, pinching, kicking... and that she would go into the bathroom at school and punch herself in the head and chest when other kids would make fun of her.
This was so disheartening! I called her counselor and made an emergency appointment that Monday. They said the didn't feel that she was 'hurting herself' and that it was progress (she never talks or tells me anything). However, how is it progress when the only reason she told me this stuff because I found out about what she was doing to those boys- she felt trapped. I found a new psychiatric and counselor who basically don't put up with her **** and seemed like they wanted to help! I was so relieved I actually cried in the office on the first visit!!!
My daughter is one who keeps it all together in school and at other people's houses, but explodes when she gets home. The school never believes me when I tell her what she's like at home- drives me crazy! on the first visit with the new counselor she threw a car at her brother- I was upset at first, but glad they got to see a snippet. Just last week I went to her counselor in tears. She went into a fit of rage and literally tore my house upside down, tried to throw me down the steps, and pushed her brother to the floor (aside from epilepsy, he is a stroke survivor and is developmentally delayed).
I ended up having to drag her out the door, locked it, and we both sat on the porch for almost an hour until she was able to gain control of herself. Life is insane anymore. Our lives end up being controlled by the way she feels for the day. I feel trapped. I"m alone in this struggle. I don't tell friends what life is like for us because I don't want her to be judged.
Like I said, and some of you can probably relate, she's a perfect angel (for the most part) when she's not at home. She's not a 'bad' kid, I just don't know what to do. Right now I"m at the point of sending her somewhere. I"m so tired of the fights- every single thing is a huge battle. I can't get her to do any chores, get out of bed in the morning, do anything. She is so defiant towards me it makes me want to rip all of my hair out!
The counselor's only suggestion was to keep trying to get her to talk. I don't have a support system, can't find a support group that meets locally, and don't know what to do or where to turn. She's on Prozac, which neither of us think is working, she's on adderall for ADHD but I don't think that's helping much either. We tried Strattera, but that made her beyond mean- she actually kicked her brother across the room!
I know our life isn't nearly as bad as it could be, but I just don't know what to do... HELP! please...