trolli
New Member
Hello everyone
Been reading of the importance of a support group for struggling parents of out of control young adult/teens living at home and stumbled on this forum after googling"had to kick our19 yr daughter out because of stealing from us".Its gut wrenching and so very confusing to know what to do for these "difficult" kids and you feel so very ashamed and alone in your pain.This forum has been a tiny bright spot for me on this dreary saturday morning.I hope I dont rattle on too much but this is a basic run down of my situation.My daughter has been struggling emotionally since about the age of 14 and her risky behaviour has escalated over the years.She is extremely calculating, manipulative, stubborn and dishonest.My husband says that she just seems to have "criminal" bred into her.She has lied countless times about being pregnant and went to great lengths to prove it(ordered a positive urine sample on the internet!)the last time, all different boys.She now has a rod in her arm implanted because we were terrified she would become pregnant eventually.Its a stipulation to her living here.She has had 2 dui and is awaiting court date on the second.She miraculously was found not guilty on the first and was told to consider it a blessing and not to throw it away, which she did.With the second one, she totaled our car(which she was supposed to only drive to college class and back).She currently does not drive, I drive her to her PT grocery store job and thats it.She has to rely on friends for everything else.Last Christmas she crushed xanax and drank and landed in the ICU on a vent for a couple of days.She binge drinks and is completely out of control when she does.She was found wondering on the beach drunk and almost incoherent, while we were on a family beach trip in June.Thankfully a security guard found her and managed to find us to pick her up.He stated that she was walking with a man that she def should not be with.We have asked to go to rehab but she refuses and says that she likes "a buzz" every now and then and is NOT an alcoholic because she goes weeks without drinking, complete denial!!! She lost her last job as a receptionist in a local hair salon because she came into work wreaking of alcohol from partying the night before.Of course she denies this.We told that she cannot continue to just lay in bed until 1 in the afternoon, wstch TV and eat.After standing over her and tsking evetything away, she found a PT job but has already called in once because she was vomiting from drinking the night before.Thankfully she still has that job; for now but I feel it is only a matter of time before she loses it.A couple of nights ago, ny husband placed his wallet on the bedroom dresser with 30 cash in it, which we usually do not keep cash around because she takes it.He happened to think to check and sure enough she had gotten to it that quickly
He went crazy! Told her she had 5 mins to pack and get out.I drove her to a friends.We are at our Wits end!
She looks you straight in the eye and denies taking it.My husband feels like he cannot live in our home any longer with her here because of the stress she puts him under and his job, he is "cracking up".He is afraid he may lose it and hurt her.
She will get in his face when she has drank and become very belligerent.
My anxiety is off the charts trying to buffer between them.I wake up at n ight with my heart thumping out of my chest.She is back home for now with boundaries we are trying to work out along with consequences for breaking them.My problem is she has very few friends at this point, no transportation and where does she go if we throw her out.I went as far as to tell her that if she steals again she will have to sleep out the backyard in her brothers old tree house, at least she would gave a roof over her head.She is destroying my marriage and our lives.Her older brother is a senior awsy at college and doesn't even wanna come home because of her antics.We have tried counseling but the counselor we found and liked very much suggested that she needs someone close to home to handle things right awsy when she has a crisis (We live in a small town and she was a hour away) Though never formally diagnosed she working toward a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder.With all that she has done, she is still my child and thats hard to hear.She is very tender hearted especially toward animals, babies and the elderly.She cries when she sees a old person eating alone.These are the traits, as her mom, that I try to remember but its just not enough to live with her.We are in misery : (
Been reading of the importance of a support group for struggling parents of out of control young adult/teens living at home and stumbled on this forum after googling"had to kick our19 yr daughter out because of stealing from us".Its gut wrenching and so very confusing to know what to do for these "difficult" kids and you feel so very ashamed and alone in your pain.This forum has been a tiny bright spot for me on this dreary saturday morning.I hope I dont rattle on too much but this is a basic run down of my situation.My daughter has been struggling emotionally since about the age of 14 and her risky behaviour has escalated over the years.She is extremely calculating, manipulative, stubborn and dishonest.My husband says that she just seems to have "criminal" bred into her.She has lied countless times about being pregnant and went to great lengths to prove it(ordered a positive urine sample on the internet!)the last time, all different boys.She now has a rod in her arm implanted because we were terrified she would become pregnant eventually.Its a stipulation to her living here.She has had 2 dui and is awaiting court date on the second.She miraculously was found not guilty on the first and was told to consider it a blessing and not to throw it away, which she did.With the second one, she totaled our car(which she was supposed to only drive to college class and back).She currently does not drive, I drive her to her PT grocery store job and thats it.She has to rely on friends for everything else.Last Christmas she crushed xanax and drank and landed in the ICU on a vent for a couple of days.She binge drinks and is completely out of control when she does.She was found wondering on the beach drunk and almost incoherent, while we were on a family beach trip in June.Thankfully a security guard found her and managed to find us to pick her up.He stated that she was walking with a man that she def should not be with.We have asked to go to rehab but she refuses and says that she likes "a buzz" every now and then and is NOT an alcoholic because she goes weeks without drinking, complete denial!!! She lost her last job as a receptionist in a local hair salon because she came into work wreaking of alcohol from partying the night before.Of course she denies this.We told that she cannot continue to just lay in bed until 1 in the afternoon, wstch TV and eat.After standing over her and tsking evetything away, she found a PT job but has already called in once because she was vomiting from drinking the night before.Thankfully she still has that job; for now but I feel it is only a matter of time before she loses it.A couple of nights ago, ny husband placed his wallet on the bedroom dresser with 30 cash in it, which we usually do not keep cash around because she takes it.He happened to think to check and sure enough she had gotten to it that quickly
He went crazy! Told her she had 5 mins to pack and get out.I drove her to a friends.We are at our Wits end!
She looks you straight in the eye and denies taking it.My husband feels like he cannot live in our home any longer with her here because of the stress she puts him under and his job, he is "cracking up".He is afraid he may lose it and hurt her.
She will get in his face when she has drank and become very belligerent.
My anxiety is off the charts trying to buffer between them.I wake up at n ight with my heart thumping out of my chest.She is back home for now with boundaries we are trying to work out along with consequences for breaking them.My problem is she has very few friends at this point, no transportation and where does she go if we throw her out.I went as far as to tell her that if she steals again she will have to sleep out the backyard in her brothers old tree house, at least she would gave a roof over her head.She is destroying my marriage and our lives.Her older brother is a senior awsy at college and doesn't even wanna come home because of her antics.We have tried counseling but the counselor we found and liked very much suggested that she needs someone close to home to handle things right awsy when she has a crisis (We live in a small town and she was a hour away) Though never formally diagnosed she working toward a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder.With all that she has done, she is still my child and thats hard to hear.She is very tender hearted especially toward animals, babies and the elderly.She cries when she sees a old person eating alone.These are the traits, as her mom, that I try to remember but its just not enough to live with her.We are in misery : (