Nutritionist has referred us to a developmental pediatrician!

[myeverything04]

So my difficult child has lost a total of 11 lbs (from 66lb to 55lb) since starting Adderall XR in October. We saw a nutrionalist today and she believes difficult child has more underlining issues than just losing weight from the Adderall XR. difficult child even told her she doesn't want to gain weight but made no comment about wanting to look skinny to be pretty so neither of us (nutritionalist or myself) thinks this is an eating disorder type thing. Honestly I don't think she really understands the issue though, I think she is just saying this to get attention. So we have been referred to a developmental pediatrician to check for underlining issues... emotional, anxiety, etc. Which my difficult child does have an emotional disorder that has been somewhat swept under the rug and she also has anxiety but I feel even more lost now then I did before.

On top of all this, I start my new job tomorrow and will be on orientation for 3-4 months monday-friday and can't call in AT ALL during this time and my fiance is still living with his grandparents. Since I have to be at the hospital by 6:45, my mom is going to be coming over at 6am to get difficult child to school before she goes to work. I just feel like all of this is too much. How am I suppose to start a new job (one that I need at this point), be a supermom to difficult child who apparently has more issues than we thought, and mend a relationship all at the same time? My ex-husband and his wife have made it clear in the past that they HAVE to work and really can't take time off which leaves me all these appointments to handle by myself. How do you all do it?

 

[DDD]

You take one step at a time and give it your best. Your best is all you can do. I'm sorry it has piled up on you and the timing is absolutely lousy...but...it is what it is. Huge supportive hugs coming your way.

Will your Mom be able to do the mornings for awhile? That would be a huge help. Regarding the weight loss is it possible that you and your daughter are eating less due to the major change in your household? When the kids were on stimulants we had to add an extra "meal" before bedtime with one...sometimes it was just a shake or PB&J
with milk.

Will you be getting off work early enough to make a late afternoon appointment? If not (and hoping in health care you will) perhaps you can delay the next appointment for a couple of months from now. Your full time job may be difficult for your difficult child since she has had to make other transitions lately. If you behave confidently (don't have to feel it, lol) she will adjust more easily. I have been there done that as a single Mom with three who had to work. Playacting helped shield them from sharing my stress. I suggest it with caring supportive motives. Hugs. DDD

 

[Ktllc]

Have you ever experienced a situation of constent stress in your past? How did you face it?
Those are questions you might want to answer in order to overcome the new situation of constent stress (new job, fiance and difficult child).
Take a day at a time and remember you are heading in the right direction. Focus on your goals: financial stability, then difficult child well being, then fiance.
I think those 3 things should be in that exact order: you can't help your daughter properly if you have no resources and you can't be available to your fiance if you feel your daughter is not being helped.
It will take time, but slowly things will fall into place.
Hard work and some faith in better days to come will help you.
Believe you can do it and you will do it.

 

[myeverything04]

Thank you both for your comments. Sometimes all I need is a 'pick me up' from someone here and I feel better

I agree that my financial aspect of life has to come first. I can't do anything without money! I have been here before (before fiance moved in) but just never wanted to go back and feel like I'm there again. Yes, my mom will be able to do mornings for a while, she has been VERY supportive of helping my difficult child and I. And my Dad is retired but in FL at his condo for the winter. After my orientation I will be working 9-7:30 4 days a week so this will make morning even easier and evenings with my mom or dad (if fiance hasn't moved back in by then). We are working hard to make us work and really do want to spend our lives together. I just think so many changes over the past 2 years has put stress on our relationship to the point of break.

Once again, thank you All!

 

[confuzzled]

how odd. did the nutritionalist mention what, specifically she is reccomending a developmental pediatrician for? is she implying that she feels its necessary for the anxiety issues or is she somehow tying it into an unhealthy relationship with food (maybe not specifically calling it an eating disorder).

while its a lot of weight loss for a child and it can seem alarming--its not unusual with adderall. i'd honestly look to that first. regardless of the reason, the nutritionists job is evaluate her diet and make adjustments calorically to try to stop/lessen weight loss--high calorie foods, food supplements, etc.

there is nothing wrong with seeing a developmental pediatrician (just so you know, in my neck of the woods, you'd probably get a date with the president before you get an appointment--the wait is forever) and it certainly can be a good thing.

in the meantime, i'd personally just speak to the rx'ing dr of the adderall and see if maybe a medication change will help.

and hopefully the nutritionalist gave you some actual dietary suggestions.

oh, and ps--from the way you describe the she doesnt want to gain weight part, it sound like a perfectly reasonable thing for a girl to say...like a passing comment. i didnt think it was a weird thing to say at all, especially at a nutritionalists office in which her goal is to make her gain weight

 

[mazdamama]

When my little guy...and I do mean little....was on adderal xr he not oly lost weight but we could see his ribs poking through his skin. He did eat...like a bird and his pedi had the good sense to tell me to get him pediasure. He was seeing a behavioral and developmental specialist at the time but as others have said about many specialists....wait time for appts with these specialists is long. His appts were supposed to be every 3 months but we would get to desk to make an appointment and find out he did not have any available in 3 months, or 4 months or 5 months. It would be every 6 months and if you missed that...oh well.....you would have to wait for a cancellation.
I took the pedi's advice and gave him the pediasure even if he did eat and it helped. Finally got him set up with a local mental health center that does treat autistic children. Dr demanded labs to be pronto since specialist had not been monitoring medications. She changed medications and although he is still picky this kid is always hungry.

 

[TerryJ2]

Gosh, I don't know what to say about the nutritionist and develp pediatrician referral. I'd do ahead and see what comes of it.
I am so sorry that it is such a struggle with-your fiance, but it is so nice that your mom is so supportive. Hugs to mom!
Best of luck with-your new job. I hope that you don't let the stress overwhelm your curiosity and ability to learn and accomplish at this new position. I'm sending support!

 

[buddy]

Hi! I agree with the idea of just taking it step by step. You have great things in place. You can add extra calories in little bits thru the day... add some kind of high calorie, nutricious drink like pediasure, and make smoothies together for activities etc. until you have your doctor appointments. You will likely not get that appointment until after your probation/training time anyway.

Hope you and your boyfriend are having some success in your therapy and that you get some help from the rx doctor for the adderal.

HUGS. you are being so courageous and facing all of these things, setting an amazing example for your daughter. Really good stuff.