OMG....I dont know what to do

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Liv_on_sunset, Nov 20, 2017.

  1. Liv_on_sunset

    Liv_on_sunset New Member

    Long story short,my son(25) and his dad were fighting terribly. Son called me on the phone, it sounded like they were killing each other. Line went dead. I called pd for welfare check. Ends up cops came, dad went tojail, and my son was ordered out of the house. House belongs tohis grandfather, grandfather wanted that too I guess. Bad thing is my son had surgery 2 weeks agoon his leg, broken in an accident. Hes on crutches and no where togo! Ilive 4 hrs away, hes texting me that hes hobbling down the road no where togo. I called for welfare check and made it 1,000 times worse!!!! what do I do???? Theres nobody i can call in that town...omg
     
  2. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Hello and welcome, so sorry for this scary event, being 4 hours away and not knowing the situation is hard enough, but this......
    Geez, I would have done the same thing.....call the police.
    I would not blame yourself for doing something that is logical and reasonable. Without knowing too much background on your sons situation and your family, it is hard to say too much here. I will say that your blaming yourself is a non-issue, you did what you had to under the circumstances.
    There must be places your son can go for help?
    Try to breathe and stay calm, I know this is hard to do when you are worrying.
    If you have belief in a higher power, say a prayer.
    One cannot make good decisions when in a turmoil.
    Your son is 25 and an adult.
    He needs to figure this out.
    Many hugs to you and so sorry for your aching heart.
    I hope and pray for your sons safety, and that he tries to get help in the town he is in.
    (((HUGS)))
    Leafy
     
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  3. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Oh how stressful and difficult. You called and yes there is fall out. What if you didn’t call would one of them be injured?

    If Dad went to jail here was good reason. And of son was asked to leave GP must also have good reason.

    He can go to the authorities and will they take him to the nearest shelter. Can you get him an economical hotel room for one night or two? Don’t send money if you are concerned he is on Drugs.

    Stop breathe and don’t beat yourself up. It is what it is. He is 25 not 15. He is an adult. He needs to come up with a way to manage his life.

    Be good to yourself. You Are not alone.
     
  4. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    I agree with Leafy. You did the right thing. Don't blame yourself for two grown men behaving like children. And your son IS a man so his life is his own. How to not stress about it? Sorry, but that one is almost impossible to answer. Just remember to take care of yourself.
     
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  5. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Welcome,

    I'm sorry for the stress you are feeling but please know that you calling the PD was the right thing to do.

    Your son called you and you did exactly what I or many others would have done. You did not make things worse, they did by their actions.

    Please understand that your son and his father created whatever it was that led to the fighting. That is on them not on you. Your son is 25 and I'm sure he's capable of taking care of himself as he should at that age.

    Please just take time to step back from all of this. Again, your son is 25, a grown man, he's not your responsibility.

    ((HUGS)) to you............
     
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  6. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Liv, how are you doing today?
     
  7. Liv_on_sunset

    Liv_on_sunset New Member

    Im sorry for not updating, my bad and I am just now reading your posts. I have a bad habit of just withdrawing when things get overwhelming. I need to remember how sound advice you all give and this is the one place I must keep coming to.

    The situation has remained bad, my son has been homeless since then.Except for a day or twoin jail for trespassing in stores he was banned fromfor shoplifting food. My hometown is small,no shelters. Ijust posted about going home for late xmas and the difficult emotions over contacting himwhile there. he messages me on fb messenger when he uses the public library computers. Idont know how he survives sleeping in this cold weather. He tellsme hes slowly starving...uggh..

    One night it was 10 degrees and he found an open shed at home depot,the wooden ones in the parking lot that they sell. He was trying to sleep and apparently there was an attempted breakin so cops were allover the place. He hears all this comes out to see what happened and is arrested on the spot. Law enforcement knows him and its off to jail you go. Hes already on probation for threatening to blow someones car up when they had him kicked out for shoplifting. Jeez. Probably a good thing they took him out of the cold but its just ongoing problems. There is zero tolerance there for homeless. He wants to go back to Seattle where he was before because according to him they take care of the homeless. Im pretty sure hes going to end up in jail longterm for probation violations.
     
  8. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Liv
    I know how terrible it is to withdraw o to the chaos and sadness. I have a tendency to do that also.
    You hate being faced with such drastic outcomes and it can not be easy to see.

    I am sending you a huge hug. I hope for the small things. That your son is warm and fed and may he some day feel the need to turn this situation around. Until then it is what it is and we get out of their way and watch the chaos unfold.