DISASTROUS family counseling session tonight...
I feel as though I have been beaten with a stick.
husband and I told therapist that the therapy goals need to start to move away from "Family relationships" and "Listening to parents" and start to move toward goals that will help difficult child be successful in life. Okey-Dokey.
Goal Number One is now difficult child needs to improve her grades in school. OK - good goal.
And here comes the "beating up on Mom" part:
I was informed that difficult child would not have Ds in school, and the school would not be passing her from class to class even though she doesn't do the work *IF* I had gone into the school when difficult child was in first grade and DEMANDED that my child be given stricter standards than all the other children. Didn't I know that by allowing the problems at school to get past that very first year I was teaching my child that school didn't matter and now her life is potentially ruined by these poor grades? That was really bad parenting!
I tried to remind therapist that in first grade, the primary concern was that difficult child was bullying, hitting other kids and stealing. I had many, many MANY meetings with teachers and counselors trying to address THOSE issues. Grades in kindergarten and first grade took a back seat...
But NO - I was wrong. I should have emphasized the GRADES.
And more recently - it was WRONG of me to expect school personnel to keep my child from having sex at school....so the fact that THOSE school meetings were fruitless is to be expected. I SHOULD HAVE INSTEAD demanded that the school staff disciplined my child for talking during class. THAT is the issue I should have been focused on... Again - that was really poor parenting. I need to be more strict with my child.
Just shoot me now!
(Is it any wonder I want to quit this whole merry-go-round ?)
I feel as though I have been beaten with a stick.
husband and I told therapist that the therapy goals need to start to move away from "Family relationships" and "Listening to parents" and start to move toward goals that will help difficult child be successful in life. Okey-Dokey.
Goal Number One is now difficult child needs to improve her grades in school. OK - good goal.
And here comes the "beating up on Mom" part:
I was informed that difficult child would not have Ds in school, and the school would not be passing her from class to class even though she doesn't do the work *IF* I had gone into the school when difficult child was in first grade and DEMANDED that my child be given stricter standards than all the other children. Didn't I know that by allowing the problems at school to get past that very first year I was teaching my child that school didn't matter and now her life is potentially ruined by these poor grades? That was really bad parenting!
I tried to remind therapist that in first grade, the primary concern was that difficult child was bullying, hitting other kids and stealing. I had many, many MANY meetings with teachers and counselors trying to address THOSE issues. Grades in kindergarten and first grade took a back seat...
But NO - I was wrong. I should have emphasized the GRADES.
And more recently - it was WRONG of me to expect school personnel to keep my child from having sex at school....so the fact that THOSE school meetings were fruitless is to be expected. I SHOULD HAVE INSTEAD demanded that the school staff disciplined my child for talking during class. THAT is the issue I should have been focused on... Again - that was really poor parenting. I need to be more strict with my child.
Just shoot me now!
(Is it any wonder I want to quit this whole merry-go-round ?)