One more wk and difficult child will be back from camp

[TerryJ2]

He has sent two postcards in addition to those I addressed and stamped for him. They were addressed just to me, and said how much he misses me and can't wait to come home, and wants to play cards and go kayaking and all the things I said in my ltrs.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Don't know if it will last (as I have noticed from other notes here about your kids coming home from camp--arg!).

I've had two dreams where I am searching for difficult child. He's lost and I am very worried about him. In one, we're escaping from Russia (yeah, too many spy movies for sure, LOL!) and he's just a baby, but I have to spend more time working on my H's escape, so difficult child is usually carried by a sister or friend, and I know he is safe but I am still worried.
The other dream was worse--he ran away and we were in a horrid underground back alley, grimy cement area, very seedy--and there were police everywhere but there were so many missing kids that it was hard for the police to keep track. The whole neighborhood looked like a back alley, and the doorways were often obsured by vines and broken pieces of wood. The people were either horribly disfigured or on drugs or both, and would force their way into your personal space and it was really gross.
None of the kids knew how bad it was when they ran away, and they were all anxoius to get back to their parents.
Someone set up a facility where the kids would go around the room in front of the parents and you'd pick out which one was yours--sort of like the luggage carrousels at the airport, LOL!--but my difficult child was never there. I continued to go around and around the line, then back outside to the other sections where he could have been. I knew that I had to give up, to leave to go home and just wait for him to show up, and trust that he would be all right.

Obviously, both dreams have themes of being worried sick about difficult child being gone, but knowing that I had to trust that he would be all right and eventually come home.

But hey, do you think I'm going to admit to my husband that I'm anxious about difficult child being gone for a mo? NO WAY!

I am actually getting a lot of work done and have been very calm and happy (while I'm awake). But that doesn't mean I still don't love my son and miss him sometimes.

Shh! Don't tell anyone.

 

[ML]

Awww. Your son is a very lucky boy having you for a mom.

 

[witzend]

Sorry to hear about the dreams. They sound like you aren't getting much rest! I've been troubled by nightmares most of my life. I usually find that if I talk about them and what I think they mean to me, they go away.

That's sweet of him to write to you so often. I'm glad he is having a good time!

 

[TerryJ2]

Thank you.
I think they have a special ltr writing time once a wk.
But this past wk, he did more than his share.

husband and I stripped his rm. today. We left a lot of stuff--the mattress and blankets, the books, and his wrestling guys. But we got rid of the baseball cards, magazines, CDs, headphones, and food wrappers--arrrrgh--what's with-the hoarding????

 

[Calgon_Take_Me_Away]

Wow! A month at camp .... that would be heaven for our family. That sounds really bad to say, but things are so strained. Hope he's having a wonderful time and things go much better when he returns! And enjoy your time, too .... warrior moms need to take time for just them as well!

 

[TerryJ2]

I know. It was strained. In fact, it's so nice now, I wonder how I coped b4.

I just hope that his loneliness carries translates into better behavior when he gets home.

We have an appointment with-the psychiatrist next Tues., 2 days after his return. Should be interesting!

I dread having to give him his medication in the a.m. again. It is so nice not to have to deal with-that, or to have husband deal with-that, every day.

 

[Wiped Out]

Terry,
It is great he is having such a good time and writing. I'm sorry for your nightmares. I hope all goes well on his return

 

[Fran]

Terry, glad you are getting some respite. I believe it is the saving grace for many of us with chronically difficult kids. There is no doubt you love this little guy but it doesn't mean you don't hate the behavior and the turmoil it creates in your life. Most of us know it doesn't have to be this way but our difficult child's missed that life lesson.
Of course, we worry when they are away. They are a little like a splinter in a sensitive place. When it's removed we can feel relief but we also feel something is missing. You will get used to it. LOL.

Hope you enjoy his missing you and his notes.

 

[TerryJ2]

Thank you.
LOL about the splinter. What a comparison!!!

 

[Nomad]

Terry, I think it is normal to have some anxiety about difficult child being gone. I think experience teaches us to expect the unexpeted. But I am totally psyched that you got the respite that you and your family needed. It gives me hope that this is truly available for families in our situation and you can be SURE I will be contacting you for the name of this place and more details. It will be an added bonus for sure, if difficult child got some life lessons and/or academic lessons along with the experience...be still my heart...I am feeling so happy as to be faint. My guess is few of "the regulars" understand the complexities of our situation. Be happy and enjoy!!!!