TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
Sigh. Yesterday difficult child's math teacher walked him to the car in afternoon carpool and said, "We need a mtng. difficult child has still not handed in a single math assignment. We're up to #9."
Okay, I said. "As many teachers as possible." I was almost smiling (in a smug, I told you so manner) because I told her on the first day of school that I wanted to meet with-her and she wasn't certain we'd need a mtng. Well, she needs one now!
I asked difficult child why he hadn't turned in the assignments and he said, "She wants me to follow some stupid rule and do it her way."
NO, REALLY?????
Today, difficult child's homeroom and religion teacher walked difficult child up to the car at carpool and said, "I have to talk to you and I think difficult child should listen." He sat next to me and I left the window open.
"He told me he wrote his goal sheet and it was never turned in. It was due a wk ago Monday. Then he told me his juice packet exploded all over it, and you threw it away. That doesn't sound like something you would do."
She had called the night b4 to tell me he'd get a zero for being a wk late. She didn't know what to do. I told her I'd have difficult child start from scratch and write it, despite the zero, and despite the fact he may have turned it in, may have lost it, or may have never written it at all. A goal sheet is a good assignment. It needs to be done. Period. (Why am I telling her this?)
So I asked difficult child what sort of juice pkt exploded. "The orange one," he said.
"I bought the orange ones Monday. Your assignment was due a week ago Monday."
"Well, I thought it did."
"You're making it sound like your mother is lying, difficult child," the teacher said, with-her head poked in my driver's side window. (She didn't quite grit her teeth, but I could see she was exasperated.)
I told him that when you fabricate someything (if I say the word "lie," he goes ballistic, but somehow the teacher was able to do it) then you have to create more and more layers of stories and it just gets worse and worse. Then you can't remember what you told someone and you have to cover for the cover. If you had just stuck to the truth it would have been so much easier."
"I know."
He wouldn't make eye contact and she said, "I will not put up with lying. You told me you did the assigment."
Satisfied that it had finally been turned in very late and that he lied about it, and more important, that he was aware that he'd been caught, she ended the conversation, reminding me that we would all have a mtng.
I drove away in silence. When we got out of the pkng lot I turned to difficult child and said, "Nice try."
He gave me a song and dance about how he was afraid he'd get into trouble, blah blah blah.
"But why didn't you just do it in the first place?"
No explanation.
When we got home, I had him write an apology to his teacher. He was upset because last night, when he wrote his goals sheet, I had him do it 4 times. There were 3 goals: educational, personal, and spiritual. You had to write the goal, why you chose it, and something concrete you would do ea day to accomplish it.
His writing was so disjointed--one sentence said he was going to work on paying more attention. Another sentence said he was going to try out for basketball. Another sentence said he was going to work on his grades.
He wrote in ink, so he couldn't erase and there were scratched out globs everywhere.
Finally, I numbered ea sentence in sequence and told him to rewrite the paragraphs in the order I gave him.
On his 4th try, he finally got it right.
So, today he said, "You're just going to correct me and make me write it 80 million times again!"
"We'll see," I said.
He sat down and wrote a beautiful apology in less than 2 min. No corrections.
Woo hoo!
It's been a rough week. And it's only Thursday.
Okay, I said. "As many teachers as possible." I was almost smiling (in a smug, I told you so manner) because I told her on the first day of school that I wanted to meet with-her and she wasn't certain we'd need a mtng. Well, she needs one now!
I asked difficult child why he hadn't turned in the assignments and he said, "She wants me to follow some stupid rule and do it her way."
NO, REALLY?????
Today, difficult child's homeroom and religion teacher walked difficult child up to the car at carpool and said, "I have to talk to you and I think difficult child should listen." He sat next to me and I left the window open.
"He told me he wrote his goal sheet and it was never turned in. It was due a wk ago Monday. Then he told me his juice packet exploded all over it, and you threw it away. That doesn't sound like something you would do."
She had called the night b4 to tell me he'd get a zero for being a wk late. She didn't know what to do. I told her I'd have difficult child start from scratch and write it, despite the zero, and despite the fact he may have turned it in, may have lost it, or may have never written it at all. A goal sheet is a good assignment. It needs to be done. Period. (Why am I telling her this?)
So I asked difficult child what sort of juice pkt exploded. "The orange one," he said.
"I bought the orange ones Monday. Your assignment was due a week ago Monday."
"Well, I thought it did."
"You're making it sound like your mother is lying, difficult child," the teacher said, with-her head poked in my driver's side window. (She didn't quite grit her teeth, but I could see she was exasperated.)
I told him that when you fabricate someything (if I say the word "lie," he goes ballistic, but somehow the teacher was able to do it) then you have to create more and more layers of stories and it just gets worse and worse. Then you can't remember what you told someone and you have to cover for the cover. If you had just stuck to the truth it would have been so much easier."
"I know."
He wouldn't make eye contact and she said, "I will not put up with lying. You told me you did the assigment."
Satisfied that it had finally been turned in very late and that he lied about it, and more important, that he was aware that he'd been caught, she ended the conversation, reminding me that we would all have a mtng.
I drove away in silence. When we got out of the pkng lot I turned to difficult child and said, "Nice try."
He gave me a song and dance about how he was afraid he'd get into trouble, blah blah blah.
"But why didn't you just do it in the first place?"
No explanation.
When we got home, I had him write an apology to his teacher. He was upset because last night, when he wrote his goals sheet, I had him do it 4 times. There were 3 goals: educational, personal, and spiritual. You had to write the goal, why you chose it, and something concrete you would do ea day to accomplish it.
His writing was so disjointed--one sentence said he was going to work on paying more attention. Another sentence said he was going to try out for basketball. Another sentence said he was going to work on his grades.
He wrote in ink, so he couldn't erase and there were scratched out globs everywhere.
Finally, I numbered ea sentence in sequence and told him to rewrite the paragraphs in the order I gave him.
On his 4th try, he finally got it right.
So, today he said, "You're just going to correct me and make me write it 80 million times again!"
"We'll see," I said.
He sat down and wrote a beautiful apology in less than 2 min. No corrections.
Woo hoo!
It's been a rough week. And it's only Thursday.
...that it was Miss KT who was misrepresenting the facts. Eventually she got the picture, but it took a while.
I actually tense up now waiting to see if Little Bear is coming out on his own or not!!
