Out of Control 4yrold

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jenn8038, Mar 9, 2017.

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  1. Jenn8038

    Jenn8038 New Member

    My four year old boy's behavior has gotten out of control. I dont know what to do anymore. My husband and I have tried spanking, time out, taking things away (including dessert) and nothing works. I dont want to take him anywhere anymore I am so embarrassed. He wont listen to anything anyone tells him. He wants everything his way or he throws a fit and sometimes even hurts himself. He's gotten to where he constantly hits other kids and spits in their faces. He doesnt seem to care about anything or anyone. I just dont know how to handle it.
     
  2. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    If he self-harms, he needs to be mentally evaluated. Have you discussed this with his doctor? Is he in pre-K?
     
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Have you had him evaluated? You should. I recommend a neuro psychologist (this is not a neurologist). Something is wrong and its not your parenting or his fault. Youve tried everything. He is probably wired differently and needs interventions and help, not strictness. Could be ADHD or a form of aurism or sensory issues or something else. Do it now to keep it from progressing.

    Do not trust anyone on school to diagnose or a plain talk therapist to be able to tell you much. Dont waste your time. See a child psychiatrist or a neuro psycolologist. A four year old does not think about making your life miserble. Hes too young He deserves diagnosis and help and please dont spank him. Did he have chaotic infant/toddler years? Did he see abuse? Is he adopted? Did he have a bad birth? Does anything run on either side of his DNA family tree? DNA is big and kids can inherit thing from fathers and mothers even if they never met them.

    Good luck!
     
  4. Jenn8038

    Jenn8038 New Member

    Yes, he is in pre-K. Yes, I have talked to his doctor in the past and he said it was normal behavior back then he would just throw a tantrum and bang his head on the floor (not hard).
     
  5. Jenn8038

    Jenn8038 New Member

     
  6. Jenn8038

    Jenn8038 New Member

    I have had him evaluated in the past and they could not find anything wrong said that he was a perfect child while with him. I dont think he tries to make our lives miserable (and he doesnt make our lives miserable) he just seems like he doesnt care. As an infant/toddler no problems at all he was such a sweet and caring boy his whole attitude changed when he turned three and was moved up into a preschool room. I dont see where he could of seen any abuse my husband and I hardly ever argue maybe once or twice a year and even with that we have raised our voices at one another but nothing beyond that. No, he is not adopted as far as his birth they had to do an emergency c section but he was fine after delivery. As far as family, my family has never to my knowledge had a problem similar to this and my husband majority of this family passed when he was a small boy so he wouldnt know. Thank you so much for replying I need all the advice I can get. As far as the spanking, we only tried spanking for a month. It would break my heart everytime (even though it wasnt hard) it sill hurt his feelings which also hurt me. I just want him to be the sweet angel he was two years ago I just dont know what happened and I only want him to be happy and I dont think that he is right now.
     
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Its not normal. Thats why you need to take it to a psychiatrist. Pediatricians are not really trained to diagnose disorders.

    You sound like great parents. Sometimes things dont show up until the kids go to school. Id evaluate him now, since he is acting out now. I still recommend a neuro psychologist or child psychiatrist. Maybe something bad happened to him in preschool though that even the teachers dont know about. Or maybe it WAS somebody in authority...good luck. I hope you find your answers.
     
  8. Jenn8038

    Jenn8038 New Member

    Thank you we already have two appointments set up one with his doctor and one with a behavioarlist (same as past). I will also look into a neuro psychologist and set an appointment there also.
     
  9. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    The head banging part is not normal. Our son did this when we first adopted him. We had to get him into a psychiatrist right away. The doctor said the head banging was PTSD and severe anxiety. For some kids, it can mean anger or Reactive Attachment Disorder. Glad you made those appointments. Even if you don't think your son witnessed violence or trauma, he could still be stressed about something.