It's been a while since I have been able to post but in the desperateness of my situation ( really my sons, not mine) you guys are the only people who can provide comfort and wise exploration of options. My 20 year old son is facing two felony charges in Texas for burglary of a habitation and now aggravated robbery. The first charge he was with "friends" when they robbed his dads house and stold guns. The last time he was sitting in the back seat of a vehicle when two boys robbed a convenience store. He is the follower in these situations and a sitting duck to be targeted by people who exploit him. He seems unable to self-correct behavior and is attracted to thugs. He is developmentally disabled - Aspergers, mood disorder, and substance abuse. He has a court appointed attorney - I spent a lot of $$ for him to be in a Residential Treatment Center from age 15 -17. The local DA is now offering him 45 years in prison. I am devastated and have advocated to the limit of my knowledge for him with documentation, etc. to mitigate sentence. At least the new court appointed attorney - the old one got a job with the DA - said he will order an independent evaluation although I have documentation beginning since he was three. He seems to at every turn of the hat do exactly what I am most of afraid of - no matter what age. His dad and I both told him not to get a face tattoo and when I went to visit him the other day at jail he had put a cross under his R eyelid. I'm not so sure why I was so surprised - this is what he has done his whole life, disrespect authority. He lied about just finishing a tattoo he had already started faintly on his eye. It just made me sick to the core and also made me realize the lack of impact I have on him at all. Probably never had any is how I'm feeling now. Now my next pervasive fear is he will go to prison, affiliate with a gang, and then be predated to kill someone which I have heard occurs. The horror and fears I can keep mostly at bay but they percolate underneath the surface. I wish it was cut and dry and I could turn my back on him but the developmental disability won't let me do this. Then the guilt comes on about I didn't adequately protect him (traveling mom, babied him, gave too much freedom, etc, etc) through all the years of stuff and if I had done better he wouldn't be here in this position. What I try to do today is pray for him, advocate for him, give him limited $$, and let him call. I'm ambivalent about giving him no $$ as I have read they are even more vulnerable with no barter system but on the other hand I have read where kids haven't gotten it until there was no support. Sheesh - I just get so conflicted. Probably I need to not listen to my intuition which is warped which is always to do too much. Thanks for listening. My family and friends cannot tolerate the pain they feel when looking at my situation with my son. I'm sorry we all have been put in this position, but I'm grateful you guys are here as support.