Please say a prayer...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DammitJanet, Sep 14, 2013.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    that monkey's mom decides to pull her pageant circuit. She went to another pageant tonight and it was awful. Part of it was that the pageant was done really badly. The only thing the kids did was walk on stage and then they asked them a question. She isnt really good at thinking quick on her feet and Im sure she didnt think she would get the question she got and she just said a one word answer when other girls said lots more. I mean they asked her what she liked most about being in the pageant and her answer was "the crowns" Other kids got questions like "who is your best friend and what do you like to do together?"

    She was crushed when she didnt place. But they did the question and answer at the same time they did the one walk through and that was came crowning.

    It was bad. She was crying so hard and even when I told her she would always be our princess she said no she wouldnt because she lost the last two pageants. I told her mom that it was time to take a break because she cant take it self esteem wise. I tried to tell that even though she didnt win the crown she is doing so well in gymnastics and they have already said they want to up her to pre-team right after Xmas so she is ready to try out for the team this spring. That is much better because she is learning so well there. She just looked at me and said she wouldnt do well there either. All this with tears running down her face taking make up along with the tears. She had pure streaks down her face.

    I dont like it anymore because I think now its hurting her. When she was little she was thrilled because she got a trophy or a ribbon or something. Now she knows the difference in just a participation trophy and winning.
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I hope Mom knocks it off.

    I would remind monkey that she no longer wanted to do the pageants to begin with to put less importance on them. And I'd explain to her that there always are those that don't walk away with a crown. Not everyone can win every single time, otherwise......what is the point of putting in effort into it? Not winning makes her (or should make her with some guidance) appreciate the times she did win. Know what I mean??

    This is the problem I have with these types of things to begin with. They place importance on the wrong things. Monkey is gorgeous, no doubt about it. But you want her to learn that there is far more to her than that.....she is very talented, athletic, and smart ect as well. Those are the types of things that really count.

    But still, if she is not enjoying these things it needs to stop.

    I watched Darrin play soccer last week, There are players who have ability, and he does well too, but they simply are not doing well as a team. Unfortunately, this means a LOT of really bad losses this year. He didn't do well last week and lost miserably again today. Last week I reminded him in every game there has to be a winner and a loser. It doesn't make the game any less fun to play, nor does it mean he needs to take it personally. He does his best and has fun and that is what counts.

    But it is bad when Nana and Daddy are coaching from the sidelines because no one is giving the kids direction. We had to remind forwards where to go to be passed to and that yes, they are meant to run after the darn ball and don't get me started on the goalie, someone seems to have forgotten to tell him he is allowed to use his hands. lol

    Frustrating for the kids though and after a point they just basically give up. :( Of course that makes it worse. I have a strong feeling Daddy will be coaching next year.
  3. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Poor kid. I think those things are a little too much pressure for little kids. I never cared for them. I hope her mom does the right thing.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    You have my prayers for sure. I think those pageants are horrible. There are better ways to give children self-esteem. If a child isn't having fun, why force them into an activity? Often it is just for the mother or father, living through the child. I've seen it in sports.
  5. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    If her mom wants to be in the pageant world so badly, why doesn't she enter grown up pageants? How does her mom react when she doesn't win? I won't say lose because I think all of those children are winners just for getting up there. I would have eaten my own hand off when I was a kid if my parents tried to push me into something like that.

    One word of advice on the gymnastics. When daughter was monkey's age, they were pushing her for team gymnastics and competition ice skating. She refused competitive ice skating because "it's too cold!" but she wanted to do gymnastics. She was really good and for awhile H and I were, admittedly, caught up in the hoopla and the "what if" she's THE one! Then I looked at pictures of myself as a 12 year old and of H's sister at the same age and realized that if daughter wanted to be a gymnast past puberty, she'd have to develop an eating disorder. I was a C cup by 12 and so was sister in law. daughter wound up being a later bloomer than I was but she's still way too big on top to be a competitive gymnast and at 5'3", she's petite for real life but an Amazon for gymnastics. I'd let her do it for fun but I don't know that I'd push the team. I showed daughter the pics of sister in law and myself and told her that if she got the family body, she'd only be able to do gymnastics for fun and isn't that what it's all about? She's 21 now and still limber but she doesn't do gymnastics anymore.

    I agree with MWM, it's all about vicarious thrills for the parents and not the child's best interests in many cases.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I truly hope and PRAY that her mother will not enter her into any other pageants and will tell her that not winning is NOT her fault.
  7. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Praying for the best for monkey. Hoping her mom looks out for her emotionally.
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Janet... I think it's time to tell Monkey's mother that enough is enough. THIS is why I have issues with pageants and modeling. THIS is why we didn't let Belle do any more than she did (bio set those up, not us). OK, that and they are EXPENSIVE.

    I wouldn't mind Rose being a Gerber baby if it set up a college fund for her. Otherwise - PFFT. I'm not paying for it. If she chooses to do them later, we'll talk.
  9. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    More prayers headed your way Janet.