I knew my son smoked pot before he left for college, but thought he'd be smarter (no, I don't think it's okay to smoke pot but I choose my battles perhaps unwisely). He called to tell us a cop stopped him on the street because he was wobbling and gave him a ticket for disorderly conduct. Son said there was a little pot on him, but cop said just please guilty. He only charged him with the disorderly conduct. I found out from a text message of his that he is lying to us. He was actually busted by the cops in his dorm room for possession and disorderly conduct. He wasn't arrested. He wants to plead guilty (he doesn't know we know about the possession). I want him to have a lawyer to lower the charge. My thought is to tell him Monday that the college called to tell us his scholarship is at risk (which is probably true) and that's how we found out. No matter how mad I am at him, I want to try to keep this off his record. Every time I offer a lawyer, he gets mad and insists that he wants to plead guilty and we should just lend him the money (he has grandma money for college that belongs to him, but we have him convinced it can only be used for college. I'm fine with the money part as he agreed he will just get no fun money from the fund until it's paid off). What I'm most upset is: 1. I want to get him to understand I'm right. He needs to try to plea this even if he was caught red handed. Maybe I'm wrong but at least we can try. 2: He's lying. I want to "catch," him but I will have to lie to do that. I can't tell him I read his text. I just won't do that - I will never have access again and who knows what's next. Thoughts? Thanks.