Quick feedback....tough times ahead!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by lovelyboy, Jan 3, 2013.

  1. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    Sorry, I wasnt around lot!

    Just wanted to let you know that I am so proud of my oldest boy for being brave and supportive!
    I was unexpectedly diagnosed during the December holidays with breast cancer, so had all the surgery, dr appointments exct.

    So my treatment is going to start shortly after my 2 boys need to start their new school!!!
    I was and still am very anxious about the logistics and the effect the unplanned sudden changes in schedule and uncertainties will have on the boys! They need to start with new Occupational Therapist (OT), new ST and school, teacher and routine! I am so worried about not being there for them, interacting with the teacher, not beingable to be a "worrier" mom for them!

    By the grace of God the psychology student I contacted last year to maybe be a facilitator for little dude, said she would be willing to drive my boys to and from school and be like an au pair! We met with her last night, the boys loved her! She is very energetic, friendly and responsive! She works part time, VOLENTARILY, at an autism school! She loves kids with special needs! We were so impressed, we didnt even asked for references, but she was referred to us by the Autism assosiation of RSA, so I am sure she is "save"!?

    Both my boys is handling the situation so well! Little one has developed seperation anxiety and a bunch of fears, but thats expected! Thats why I want to try and build in some form of structure! Shame, they are really struggling with me sleeping and lying down so much now, they really misses their healthy mom!

    Just wanted to share with you and maybe gain some input or suggestions!

    Thanx for listening!
  2. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    I'm incredibly sorry to learn of your health issues. I imagine you are going through all number of things emotionally and physically. I think the au pair idea sounds perfect, and that the young woman volunteers as she does with autistic children bodes well for her character and her stamina in handling working with difficult child's. I don't have any advice for you other than to remember that kids do well when mama does well. In other words, take care of yourself! Your kiddos needs are no less important than they have always been. There is however a new importance to your needs and a increase in needs as well. When prioritizing, it will go against the grain of being "mom" to put your needs first, and at times axing completely a childs needs to ensure your own are met. Just please know that not only is that okay, it is likely inevitable at various times. And it is OKAY. It really is. Your instinct will likely be to not back down a wit on difficult child issues, and I get it , really. At the same time, your kids needs going down the list at certain times is okay. Your body and spirit will need more nourishment and rest and gentle care than usual. Be sure to include your kids in doing nice things for you if it helps them to feel they are doing something to assist you through this. It will not only help you, but will help them feel productive and useful and beneficial while you go through this. Even difficult children are likely to find ways to "do" for mom in this circumstance and it is important that they be allowed.

    I'll be sending boat loads of positive juju and rattling beads for healing for you as you move forward.
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Sending a big care package of hugs, humour and calm...
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    You're not going.to believe this but yesterday when I was waiting for Q at therapy I was starting a thread calling for you to check in. You were on my mind so much yesterday and I just was concerned. Q finished early and I had to click off fast so lost the post then didn't get back to it. Now I know your energy was speaking to me!

    Cancer really hit this board hard in 2012 and I pray 2013 is full of healing. Lord knows you all deserve health, happiness and strength.

    I missed you loads and hope you can feel good enough to check in once in a while. I'm so proud of your kids too! Q acts up terribly when I'm sick. So yipee for things going well on that front and with the new worker and the school and therapies too! Having that all set will help you focus on healing. I have a good feeling about this school and this young lady will be a nice constant for the boys, especially if you have a day/week here and there where you need to take time for yourself.

    This is a little off topic, do you get the US show Parenthood? One couple has a son with Asperger's and so many situations have overlapped our life....most recently getting a dog! The mom also was diagnosis with breast cancer. If you have some way to watch it online or such, its very good.

    I know you are so strong and such a fighter. Take good care of yourself and know I'm sending you tons of love and hugs and prayers for a predictable treatment course, no problems, and rapid and total healing. Keep stress as low as possible to allow yourself to heal. You're such an amazing woman.

    Many gentle hugs to the whole family. Can't wait to hear how the new school goes!
  5. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Sending the most gentle of hugs and TONS of healing thoughts and prayers.
  6. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I'm really sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Sending lots of healing thoughts your way.
  7. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry things are tough now. There are, however, so many healthy survivors out there!!! Sending you and the boys good vibes and our love.
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you are facing this problem but, like others here, I have known many survivors. Your youth is on your side and it sounds like you are not hesitating to get treatment. You will remain in my thoughts and prayers. Just this year I learned that there is now a pill available that evidently prevents a recurrence of breast cancer if taken daily following surgery. My sister is taking it daily. Caring hugs coming your way. DDD
  9. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear of your health problems. ((hugs))
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Best of luck with-your surgery and treatment and glad it was diagnosed in time! And so sorry for what you are going through. been there done that.

    I am so glad that the psychiatric student can provide transporation. That is GREAT!

    When I did radiation, I took difficult child with-me. (Not in the radiation area, lol!) He hated it of course, but then he discovered the coffee bar, and he'd spend 15 min making me a brew of tea and who knows what and was so proud of himself. That kept him occupied, along with-some puzzles in the reception area. Good doctors and office designers know that women + breast cancer = kids. And they design for it.

    Fingers crossed for you. I will be thinking of you. Hugs.
  11. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    Thanx all for this wonderfull support, love and understanding!
    It really does help to know that there is a little cyberspace where real people, really care about us!:)
    Buddy I heard about that program, my MOM told me about it, somewhere, some how!
    I will search for it just now! Lol, while still lying in bed! I LOVE technology!
  12. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Gentle hugs and lots of healing wishes................
  13. HopeRemains

    HopeRemains New Member

    I don't have many suggestions, but I think it is a blessing that you have found someone to support you at this hard time in your life! My thoughts are with you, dear. My own Mom just kicked breast cancer's b*typical teen. Many hugs to you!!!
  14. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Best wishes and healing vibes to you!
  15. Have5boys

    Have5boys New Member

    Prayers coming your way....for all of you