Ratings system...

[Pink Elephant]

I've been a member for just over a year now, yet am still at a loss as to what the ratings system is all about.

I see a gross imbalance in the way members rate other members replies and started threads. I see a sort of buddy system in place here, where if you fit in with, and are popular with other long-time members (a sort of click if you will), you get rated, and often, too, may I add, but newcomers and those less popular enjoy fewer ratings, sometimes no ratings at all.

I'm tired of participating in a system that differentiates between those who aren't popular as compared to those who are, so will no longer be a willing party behind applying ratings to entries.

 

[BusynMember]

I dont pay attention to ratings. I'm not sure what you mean about s system at all. If a post touched me, I give it a sign is all....there are a few posters, like leafy, who is so touching and compassionate that I tear up so often I give her stars but I don't know her. I have never met her...I never join cliques even when i DO know people in real life

 

[Pink Elephant]

I dont pay attention to ratings. I'm not sure what you mean about s system at all. If a post touched me, I give it a sign is all....there are a few posters, like leafy, who is so touching and compassionate that I tear up so often I give her stars but I don't know her. I have never met her...I never join cliques even when i DO know people in real life

I used to pay attention to ratings, thinking they actually meant something, but the more I see of the ratings and who and who isn't rating consistently, the more off-putting I find it to be.

 

[AppleCori]

Hi Old Hand,

We love you. Don’t get discouraged.

I am one of the worst for not giving ratings to people. I usually don’t read through a long thread or a long post response, unless I have a lot of time to spend here. And often, I just forget about rating posts. Even the ones I love and agree with.

Here’s something that may make you feel better:

I post occasionally on another advice forum. Their rating system is agree/disagree (you don’t have to rate it, of course). The week’s top five agree-getting posters (most agrees minus disagrees) get their (fake) name on a top posters of the week list.

Well, over my time there, I have gotten very few Disagrees. Less than ten. And lots of agrees. Lately, I have been spending more and more time there. The last few weeks, I have been on the top five list (which means I have been wasting entirely too much time).

Wel, anyway, this last week or two, I got to noticing that I started getting a lot of disagrees. I was going back and forth with a woman who couldn’t figure out why her house wasn’t selling after seven months in a hot market. I noticed that every post I made, whether a question to the seller or an answer, got a quick disagree. No matter how innocuous was my response, I still got a disagree. At first I thought it was the woman I was talking to, and I asked if I was offending her in any way and offered to cut the conversation off. She said that, no, she appreciated my time and advice.

Then, I got to noticing that every post i made started getting a quick disagree. Then, just lately, all my posts have been getting two disagrees in succession. Even old ones are getting a second disagree.

I’m not the only one, either. Several people are also getting a disagree every time they post.

The internet can be mean.

This forum, by comparison, is pretty nice.

Don’t sweat the ratings.

Apple

 

[Pink Elephant]

I'm not sure what you mean about s system at all.

Here, let me explain to you what I mean.

At the top of the forum is a banner that reads, ConductDisorders, and directly under the banner is a line of options. If you click on Members, a list of "Notable Members" shows, along with other details such as "Most Positive Ratings", and best of all, "Most Points".

Is the ratings system a contest?

In displaying a list of "Notable Members", does that suggest that those who fail to make the list aren't notable?

 

[AppleCori]

Here, let me explain to you as to what I mean.

At the top of the forum is a banner that reads, ConductDisorders, and directly under the banner is a line of options. If you click on Members, a list of "Notable Members" shows, along with other details such as "Most Positive Ratings", and best of all, "Most Points".

Is the ratings system a contest?

In displaying a list of "Notable Members", does that suggest that those who fail to make the list aren't notable?

I have never noticed that feature before.

I have been here—what is it now, five years or so—and many of those posters were gone before I got here. I think this forum was much more active in years past.

 

[BusynMember]

I never noticed that either.

Now that I know about it I'm still not going to check it.

 

[Pink Elephant]

Hi Old Hand,

We love you. Don’t get discouraged.

I am one of the worst for not giving ratings to people. I usually don’t read through a long thread or a long post response, unless I have a lot of time to spend here. And often, I just forget about rating posts. Even the ones I love and agree with.

Here’s something that may make you feel better:

I post occasionally on another advice forum. Their rating system is agree/disagree (you don’t have to rate it, of course). The week’s top five agree-getting posters (most agrees minus disagrees) get their (fake) name on a top posters of the week list.

Well, over my time there, I have gotten very few Disagrees. Less than ten. And lots of agrees. Lately, I have been spending more and more time there. The last few weeks, I have been on the top five list (which means I have been wasting entirely too much time).

Wel, anyway, this last week or two, I got to noticing that I started getting a lot of disagrees. I was going back and forth with a woman who couldn’t figure out why her house wasn’t selling after seven months in a hot market. I noticed that every post I made, whether a question to the seller or an answer, got a quick disagree. No matter how innocuous was my response, I still got a disagree. At first I thought it was the woman I was talking to, and I asked if I was offending her in any way and offered to cut the conversation off. She said that, no, she appreciated my time and advice.

Then, I got to noticing that every post i made started getting a quick disagree. Then, just lately, all my posts have been getting two disagrees in succession. Even old ones are getting a second disagree.

I’m not the only one, either. Several people are also getting a disagree every time they post.

The internet can be mean.

This forum, by comparison, is pretty nice.

Don’t sweat the ratings.

Apple

Thanks, Apple.

 

[Copabanana]

I do not think there is a clicque. I used to but most of the people have gone.

I do believe there are support systems which I think is natural. What do I mean by that? Parents who feel very very supported by several people and in turn support them back.

For example, I got a whole lot of support from little boy lost. She read all my threads and many posts. Every single thing I typed, even if it was a moan or sigh, she rated. And I did it right back. I wanted her to feel loved. And not alone. I wanted to show her my gratitude.

Our stories had similarities and our needs were similar too. I must say she is way stronger than I but she reached out a lot, many times a day. Wow. Did my ratings go up.

But I perceived them as hugs, or atta boy. Not exclusionary, or preferential. Or a measure of whether posts are better.

Actually. When I start feeling any sense of specialness based on internet ratings, I feel very very pathetic.

There are a dozen members or so at any given time who day in and day out read and respond to many threads. They dig into the weeds and do their best to follow stories, tell the truth, share experience and give a great deal of support. Intimacy and trust develops. Ratings are a less than satisfactory way of acknowledging this.

 

[Pink Elephant]

Actually. When I start feeling any sense of speciialness based on internet ratings, I feel very very pathetic.

To be clear, as a newer member I chose to adopt the ratings system, because it was there, and because I observed others using it, however, at no point in time was I put-off over having not received ratings, but more so, I am put-off by being suckered into a system that in my opinion achieves nothing in the way of building positive community spirit, hence why I will no longer rate anyone's replies or started thread conversations.

Make no mistake, I didn't sign-up here to feel special or to propel my status to a point where I sit atop the mass as being number one.

 

[Copabanana]

I apologize. It was not my intention to impugn anybody other than myself. To the extent that I or anybody needs to feel number one, or two or three or whatever it is a weakness, to my way of thinking.

I do not like the system either. I do not think it brings out the best in me or others.

I am only commenting upon my own experience. Not on yours. You started the thread...was it a monologue or a conversation?

Again. Sorry to touch a nerve.

 

[BusynMember]

Old Hand....for some reason I thought you were an old timer whose kids are all grown. Please don't feel you have to do so, but why don't you post about your kids? Most of us start out here because our children are causing us sadness and we need to share. When my kids were young and a few we're struggling, I almost never posted on the Water-cooler. I was mostly on General.

Please know you don't have to answer. I am trying to reach out to get to know you better. I hope it is okay......you seem so nice.

 

[AppleCori]

OH,

I looked again at the “Members” tab and noticed something...

Most of the people with the ‘most points’ and ‘most positive ratings’ are old-timers. Been here for years. Like I said, I have been here for five years more or less and most of those listed were here before I came, or shortly after I came here. It’s cumulative ratings over years and years.

You have reminded me to be more thoughtful about these things.

Apple

 

[Triedntrue]

I dont know where i stand in the ratings. I try to remember to rate but admit that sometimes i just get caught up in the conversations and forget. I dont mean to slight anyone. If i have i apologize. The people on here have been very supportive when i needed it i am sorry if you dont feel that way. I will try to be more careful.

 

[BusynMember]

I have been here over a decade. This is the first time I noticed a ratings system...lol. And I am not doing so hot...lol. I don't care. I will probably never check it again. Some amazing writers like New Leaf and Copa just know how to give great advice yet sound like very kind angels. I can not do that so I can not touch people as much as some others can. I feel blessed that there are kind people, wise too, who can express their lovely words better than I can. Without those people, how can we best heal?

Old Hand, truly it is not personal. I am grateful to you and your wonderful ideas for posts. I am sure we all are. I will remember to give you more stars. Honestly, you ARE a star

 

[Pink Elephant]

Old Hand....for some reason I thought you were an old timer whose kids are all grown. Please don't feel you have to do so, but why don't you post about your kids? Most of us start out here because our children are causing us sadness and we need to share. When my kids were young and a few we're struggling, I almost never posted on the Water-cooler. I was mostly on General.

Please know you don't have to answer. I am trying to reach out to get to know you better. I hope it is okay......you seem so nice.

I have posted about my oldest daughter a few times, but I garner more enjoyment out of interacting with a handful of members here about everyday life things, rather than dwelling on the negative, hence why I visit the Watercooler as much as I do.

 

[Pink Elephant]

I have been here over a decade. This is the first time I noticed a ratings system...lol. And I am not doing so hot...lol. I don't care. I will probably never check it again. Some amazing writers like New Leaf and Copa just know how to give great advice yet sound like very kind angels. I can not do that so I can not touch people as much as some others can. I feel blessed that there are kind people, wise too, who can express their lovely words better than I can. Without those people, how can we best heal?

Old Hand, truly it is not personal. I am grateful to you and your wonderful ideas for posts. I am sure we all are. I will remember to give you more stars. Honestly, you ARE a star

Thank you for your kind words.

I will be happiest when I receive nothing in the way of ratings. The ratings system in place here has done nothing other than sour me, so the more I can distance myself from it, the better, both in the way of giving and receiving.

 

[Pink Elephant]

I dont know where i stand in the ratings. I try to remember to rate but admit that sometimes i just get caught up in the conversations and forget. I dont mean to slight anyone. If i have i apologize. The people on here have been very supportive when i needed it i am sorry if you dont feel that way. I will try to be more careful.

No need to apologize. I believe we are all recognized through the replies we receive, nothing more is needed in my opinion.

 

[Pink Elephant]

OH,

I looked again at the “Members” tab and noticed something...

Most of the people with the ‘most points’ and ‘most positive ratings’ are old-timers. Been here for years. Like I said, I have been here for five years more or less and most of those listed were here before I came, or shortly after I came here. It’s cumulative ratings over years and years.

You have reminded me to be more thoughtful about these things.

Apple

I will be forever grateful if you practice your thoughtfulness and withhold any/all ratings in the future related to me. You, along with so many others already reward me and rate me by replying to my posts and started conversations. That's all I ask.

 

[Copabanana]

OH. I encourage you to advise runaway bunny the site administrator of your thoughts about the rating system. All of us besides her are bystanders and act within in a system we did not create. Each of us finds an imperfect way to respond.