Lost in sadness
Active Member
It's been a busy couple of weeks. Son returns to the current doss house he was staying at to find his belongings on the door step saying they had to leave. He rings me in despair saying he had no where to go and was frightened. I was hard to start with and refused him coming home. He breaks back into the house and stays the night. In the morning I pay for a taxi to take him to the council (authorities) to register as homeless. He does this. He's a mess. Cannot stop crying, wants to die. I pick him up and bring him back, against my husbands wishes and feed him, let him shower and give him clean clothes and then take him back to council. They have housed him in temporary housing whilst they investigate his claim. They even paid for a taxi to take him there!!
Night one - I see an email on his account from the council saying the hotel have reported he is smoking cannabis in the room and if he does it again he is out ad they will not help him again.
Day two - Hotel management speak to him about having a room FULL of people and ask them to leave
Night Two - police called to hotel as another scum bag has taken my sons room key card and kicks off in the room resulting in 12 police offices having to remove him. (not my sons fault)
Day three - police at hotel doing their weekend checks - my son wants to speak to them about the previous night and then he is arrested as they discover he is on the 'wanted' list for car crimes.
Spends night three in a police cell!
Released the next day with no idea on what is going to happen. I take him shopping for food and we eat lunch out. Starts off ok but ends with him kicking off calling me names and blaming me for "pushing him down this road", saying he was going to kill himself. I tried real hard to keep calm.
Leave on ok terms agreeing I would pick him up in the morning and take him to a planned interview set up by the council to house him in a young peoples hostel. I ring later and he has his nutter of an ex girlfriend in his room and has decided he will not be going to the interview as he has been told it is full of "smack heads" and why should he go somewhere like that when he has a "family with money"! I leave it telling him if he does not go the council will not help him and they will not be paying for a hotel life for him.
I call in morning and wake him up - ex girlfriend is still there. He refused to go to interview. Never heard from him for 24hrs.
He calls me yesterday, I am at work so did not get it. He then sends stop text asking what my problem is. I just send text to say 'at work'. When I can call him i do. He is extremely agitated saying he needs food and clothes and what was wrong with me. I try to explain I was working and he starts calling me a "silly little c**t", "arrogant bi*ch", filled in "what sort of mother...blah blah". On the fourth occasion calling me a "c**t" I hang up as I am starting to lose my patience. He accused me of just wanting him housed anywhere so I don't have to worry about him anymore and I found myself saying "yes, thats right" in anger. The ex was still there and he was defending her and calling me names making out it was all my fault in front of her. I told him to get a job and pay for his own food etc. He said he has spoken to the council and the hostel and been to the job centre but when I asked what was said he never replied! I'm not sure I believe him. He tried to call me back but I have blocked him.
I am so confused with what to do. The accommodation was originally for one week which ends today. I now have no idea what he is doing, whether he is staying in the hotel longer or going to hostel. He has no money, no clothes and no food. I want to help him because I love him but it seems impossible to have a relationship with him. He is so angry!! It's like he truly believes he is the victim and takes no responsibility for why he is in this position. I am terrified the council will not help him and he will be on the streets I am terrified this will push him over the edge and he ends his life. He threatened this yesterday and said he would write a letter to my daughter telling her it was my fault. He is horrible!
I am split with my instincts....one part says, I must not abandon him, he needs me and there is a guilt that I should be there for him as he has no one and maybe this is why he is hanging out with the dross of society. The other part says, I have done this for 2.5years and I'm tired. I am tired of being called names, blamed, trying to clear up his current messes and walking on eggshells.
My husband says, he is just a "lazy sh*t that had no intention of working. He just want to do what he wants and ponce money and everything off other people with no regard" . He appears to fall out with everyone that tries to help him and just moves on to the next. Never taking responsibility. My husband says if I give him a roof over his head, food in his belly and £100 a day for drugs and alcohol he will be happy and I will have a relationship with him. If I dare to say 'no', challenge him or ask him to do something then my life will be hell. He tells me to let him go and find his own way rather than keep trying to fix it and help him.
I am sorry this is long....its a hard day today. xx
Night one - I see an email on his account from the council saying the hotel have reported he is smoking cannabis in the room and if he does it again he is out ad they will not help him again.
Day two - Hotel management speak to him about having a room FULL of people and ask them to leave
Night Two - police called to hotel as another scum bag has taken my sons room key card and kicks off in the room resulting in 12 police offices having to remove him. (not my sons fault)
Day three - police at hotel doing their weekend checks - my son wants to speak to them about the previous night and then he is arrested as they discover he is on the 'wanted' list for car crimes.
Spends night three in a police cell!
Released the next day with no idea on what is going to happen. I take him shopping for food and we eat lunch out. Starts off ok but ends with him kicking off calling me names and blaming me for "pushing him down this road", saying he was going to kill himself. I tried real hard to keep calm.
Leave on ok terms agreeing I would pick him up in the morning and take him to a planned interview set up by the council to house him in a young peoples hostel. I ring later and he has his nutter of an ex girlfriend in his room and has decided he will not be going to the interview as he has been told it is full of "smack heads" and why should he go somewhere like that when he has a "family with money"! I leave it telling him if he does not go the council will not help him and they will not be paying for a hotel life for him.
I call in morning and wake him up - ex girlfriend is still there. He refused to go to interview. Never heard from him for 24hrs.
He calls me yesterday, I am at work so did not get it. He then sends stop text asking what my problem is. I just send text to say 'at work'. When I can call him i do. He is extremely agitated saying he needs food and clothes and what was wrong with me. I try to explain I was working and he starts calling me a "silly little c**t", "arrogant bi*ch", filled in "what sort of mother...blah blah". On the fourth occasion calling me a "c**t" I hang up as I am starting to lose my patience. He accused me of just wanting him housed anywhere so I don't have to worry about him anymore and I found myself saying "yes, thats right" in anger. The ex was still there and he was defending her and calling me names making out it was all my fault in front of her. I told him to get a job and pay for his own food etc. He said he has spoken to the council and the hostel and been to the job centre but when I asked what was said he never replied! I'm not sure I believe him. He tried to call me back but I have blocked him.
I am so confused with what to do. The accommodation was originally for one week which ends today. I now have no idea what he is doing, whether he is staying in the hotel longer or going to hostel. He has no money, no clothes and no food. I want to help him because I love him but it seems impossible to have a relationship with him. He is so angry!! It's like he truly believes he is the victim and takes no responsibility for why he is in this position. I am terrified the council will not help him and he will be on the streets I am terrified this will push him over the edge and he ends his life. He threatened this yesterday and said he would write a letter to my daughter telling her it was my fault. He is horrible!
I am split with my instincts....one part says, I must not abandon him, he needs me and there is a guilt that I should be there for him as he has no one and maybe this is why he is hanging out with the dross of society. The other part says, I have done this for 2.5years and I'm tired. I am tired of being called names, blamed, trying to clear up his current messes and walking on eggshells.
My husband says, he is just a "lazy sh*t that had no intention of working. He just want to do what he wants and ponce money and everything off other people with no regard" . He appears to fall out with everyone that tries to help him and just moves on to the next. Never taking responsibility. My husband says if I give him a roof over his head, food in his belly and £100 a day for drugs and alcohol he will be happy and I will have a relationship with him. If I dare to say 'no', challenge him or ask him to do something then my life will be hell. He tells me to let him go and find his own way rather than keep trying to fix it and help him.
I am sorry this is long....its a hard day today. xx