Reception, Funeral, and "just another day with the fam"... (omg)

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Shari, Mar 9, 2008.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Ok, so...I was having a dilemma last week about husband's 97 year old grandma's funeral and my neice's wedding reception, that we were to provide a hog for, right.

    Well, turns out husband's aunt (dead grandma's daughter) didn't want to miss her basketball game on Saturday, so the funeral was today. CHA-CHING! So, no conflict (except driving home on no sleep ths morning, but hey...we can deal).

    Anyway, we got the hog picked up and delivered and had a wonderful time at my neice's reception.

    If you'd have told me the things I would witness in the next 12 months a year ago today, I would have bet my life earnings on YOU being wrong.

    And I'd have lost.

    My MOTHER danced to a rap song last night. Then she danced to Honky Tonk Ba Donk A Donk, complete with sticking her hind-end in the middle of a circle of dancing people and shaking it thoroughly every time the chorus was repeated... She acted like she was going to race my brother at a stop light on the way back to the hotel... She had "drinks" for us all at Christmas (a first), and now this? All bets are off from here on out... who is this person and what did she do with my mother!!! My mother bordered a prude until dad died last year. lol

    No, really, we had a blast. The whole family. And together. My mom, my brother and me, our kids, we all danced fast paced dances together (and none of us are good dancers). We had a wonderful time.

    After we were cleaned up, wee difficult child couldn't sleep so he and I went to Denny's at 2:30am. Bad idea. He was seated on the long bench that seats people for multiple tables. They seated six big guys next to us, and they were using some "ripe" language (F and N, a LOT). I didn't think difficult child was paying attention, but next thing I know he's on all fours on the seat 6 inches from one guy's face, growling at him. Didn't have to worry about any more bad words, the conversation DIED. RIGHT THERE.

    We left this morning and made the funeral. Of husband's grandma's 7 grandkids, husband and his daughter (easy child 2) stood in the receiving line (partly, I think, encouraged by his mother). So glad to know they're the only ones any one cares about. husband's mother repeatedtly introduced them, called them back if they left the line, etc. And even when difficult child 1 and I were close by, she never once pointed either of us out or introduced us. Sigh. It won't change, I'm sure. I'm just never sure how to deal with it, as it makes me SO very angry, not for myself, but for difficult child 2, who knows only husband as daddy...

    Anyway, we went and sat by husband's cousins (will describe below), who are "outcasts", too. LOL We had a good time.

    husband's Grandma had 3 kids - 2 daughters and a son. Her son died when he was about 60. He was married and he had a step-daughter and 2 sons (all over 25 at the time of his death - the cousins I sat with). He and his wife had been married 35 years or so at the time of his death. His wife has never remarried. Neither she nor the step-daughter were included as survivors or family in the obituary. In addition, one of his son's adopted his step-son when he married. This adopted son was not included as a great-grand-child, either, in the obituary. Boy, did I feel special that my kids were included as "step great grandchildren". ROFLMBO

    It is so bad that these boys were not even told when husband's mom and aunt moved grandma out of her house and into a home several years back. They divided up all of grandma's "stuff", then called the boys when they were done pilfering her junk. They were free to what was left.

    Anyway, there was a little gathering afterwards. I was standing outside again with one of the "outcast" cousins, wee difficult child, and another cousin. The other cousin was watching difficult child play, and difficult child was walking on the insides of his feet. This cousin asked the outcast cousin, "Is that kid a cripple?" (no idea "that kid" was mine, either... and these people ALL live within 5 miles of my house in a town of 2000 people...)

    I didn't take it personal, in fact, I find it a bit amusing because it sounds just like husband's mother (and her level of sensitivity about something) but seriously, this is just a really good big picture of this whole family. OMG.

    So anyway, I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep tonight. Overall, it was a great weekend. Even with dealing with husband's family. As always, if anyone has any advice as to how to handle these people, send it on, I need all the help I can get. Otherwise, I'm just sitting here basking in the great memories, and thanking the powers that be that, however crazy my family EVER seemed (or however crazy we look on a dance floor), its NOTHING like husband's, and I am BLESSED! lol
  2. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member

    ***Insert loud Snort sound*** OMG, that is so funny!
  3. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    I LOVE it!

    My grandmother and her friends used to have dance parties every New Year's Eve when I was growing up. Boy, could they cut loose! My most cherished ambition is to become an inappropriate grannie (dancing wildly at parties, singing out loud in public, wearing short skirts and heels when I'm old enough to know better)

    Shari, you are lucky to have a mom who's so filled with joy.
    What a treat.

  4. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    LOVE the story about your mother! LOL

    As for the out of touch in laws.......I figure you've got two realistic options. (Cause pelting them with poo filled water balloons probably would just get you arrested and featured in one of those "weird news" segments) You can either A) Kill them with kindness (while not letting them take advantage of you) or B) Ignore them completely. Because if you let them get to you, the only person affected is you. They obviously would give a rat's behind if you hated them or not so why expend the energy?
  5. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    WHEW! your time at the reception sounds so FUN! My VERY prudish mom, one time in my whole life I saw her "have fun" and it was with my kids- she actually shocked us all and decided to go in bumper boats at Wis Dells. How we treasure that whole idea!
    Her aunt- my great aunt- was 5 ft tall, maybe 75 pounds. we went to a reception one time, she was 80 yrs old- BUT- oh boy- could she be wild! Yes, she did wear exotic clothes for her age- yes, stilletto heel sandals and a halter top dress mini skirt------she drank beer from the bottle and shook her patootie to it all-----she outdanced every young man there, and outdrank a good number of them, too! AH to have her level of energy and fun!

    Glad it all worked out with the schedules etc, it sure sounded like it was gonna be so complicated.
    Hope you are now enjoying a good nites sleep! You deserve it!
    ALas, my easy child is haveing a hard time falling asleep tonite due to the time change.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    What does your husband do when his mom treats you this way? Stand up for you, ignore her next invitation, ignore her at all costs, join her, ??

    Years and years ago I could not understand how husband could live and hour from his parents and sister and see them max two or three times a year. I pushed to see them more often. So we did. Then we moved away. Now we are back and husband can set whatever visits he wants. I don't push it at all. He never let them dog me, but never stood up for himself. I did, and then spent a year or so censoring every contact we had with them. I could just not tolerate some of the things said to him.

    I would talk with your husband about it. Be open, ask what he wants, tell him how you feel, and then see what works best for your family.

    Glad you had a wonderful time at the wedding! My gma used to dance with us like that. I love the way wee difficult child stopped the talk at Denny's! Reminded me of my difficult child - can remember him at about 4 scolding some stranger for using "grown up words" (what I used to call cussing when he was little).


  7. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I took difficult child to the shoe store last night. I bought "my cripple" some new shoes so he doesn't walk bad. Grrr. The nerve. (sorry, if I don't make fun of it, I'll scream and rant and rave and cry about it.)
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Call toto - have her send you some moose poop.
    Give me your address I'll send you balloons

    Mustang chick said it best minus the ('t) because YOU CAN lob poop filled balloons at them -

    If you don't toto and I will.

    i think you went to the funeral for entertainment value - they certainly put on a nice show. You had to know that. lol

    Bombs away
  9. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I'd love to pelt them with pooloons. I'd love for them just to wake up and see what how badly they treat people they should love.

    You're right, Star. One thing about it, there will always be a story from it.

    Truth is stranger than fiction, and they're just adding to my best-seller that I'm going to write someday, anyway. I'll change their names to protect their privacty, but anyone in THIS town is going to know EXACTLY who they are.