school daze ... school daze


New Member
Wow, reading the posts tonight ... I think school is starting!

Anyone else feeling the stress?

We start Monday. I pro-actively email the counselor who started back this past Monday asking that difficult child get to meet teacher one-on-one so he can tell her about himself and what he needs ... they can decide where might be best place to sit in class and pick his quiet spot in the room. She FINALLY emails me back today ...

(This is the school counselor who has known him since KG when he spent his first 2 weeks of school in the office)

She FINALLY emails me back today and says the principal (who is new this year) thinks that it is just fine for difficult child to meet his teacher and see where he will be tonight with every other kid in the school at meet-the-teacher night.

Did she even read my email after she was done ignoring it??

Ex took them to meet-the-teacher night. (the ex has un-medicated AD/HD and probably undiagnosed Tourette's because he has tics, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), etc also). I was at work. Ex did talk to teacher a little; and teacher said that we can meet sometime after school starts. She was not aware that difficult child had IEP. So, not only did they ignore my email and not address the concern ... they didn't even indicate to teacher that he has special needs. I would think that it would be a lot easier to spend a little extra time and care on this end ... then after they have pushed him into a corner and he melts down.

Again, these people are spose to be the experts????

So, I am going to compose an email and send to everyone about difficult child and then be at school at 7:30 Monday morning with hard copies to distribute to everyone also. And maybe evaluate if his seating is good and help him find his quiet spot with the teacher.

I understand, I am his parent, and it is my job to see that he gets what he needs. . . but, come on now! She is getting paid to be the school counselor and to watch out for these kids. How can she be so clueless!?!



New Member
Tressa, if you hadn't said the principal was new this year, I'd swear you were going to the school my kids attended last year. The principal was new then and the counselor was a waste of oxygen and skin. We transferred to a new school this year, paid the $50 fee for each child and carpool with the 5 million other families who also transferred. How do these idiots keep their jobs when this many families are willing to pay $ to get away from them? I just don't get it.

Why is it that these so called professionals don't understand the special needs of our kids? We all really need to get together and write a book either a conduct disorders for dummies book or a how to book on dealing with kids like ours.

Good luck Monday and I hope they read your e-mail and respond appropriately this go around.


New Member
There are many many books written about our kids, aren't there?

One: Teaching the Tiger
Two and Three: Ross Greene's books

I just ordered two more from Amazon ...

"Misdiagnosis And Dual Diagnoses Of Gifted Children And Adults: Adhd, Bipolar, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Asperger's, Depression, And Other Disorders"

"Kids in the Syndrome Mix of ADHD, Learning Disability (LD), Asperger's, Tourette's, Bipolar and More!: The One Stop Guide for Parents, Teachers and Other Professionals"

Maybe the problem is that the books haven't been put on tape?

Let's just give all our difficult children a time out, shall we??

I don't know what the answer is that doesn't cost several thousands of dollars a year for tuition.

He wouldn't be getting any accomodations this year if I hadn't been so persistent trying to figure out what was going on with him. His grades have been A's and B's throughout his short school career. His teacher told me last year, weeks into the year, "he's the most emotional child I have ever had in 16 years of teaching". So at what point would they have said "you know, maybe he should be evaluated"? When he is failing and hates school? When he gets beat up? When he beats someone else up?


Thanks for listening,



I am getting wiser as the years go by! It took me until second semester last year to ask one of his teachers if she read his IEP. Only to be told she didn't KNOW he HAD an IEP. This was one of his elective teachers. So, I questioned the Special Education. teacher. I questioned the VP, I questioned the program directer. This year I meet on Monday with the program director. Already met with the principal. Will meet new VP, and teachers Monday also. Program directer is good. She told me this will NOT be a repeat of Last year. She has kept in contact with me all summer about any changes that have gone on.

Anxious for Monday's meeting. We don't start school until after Labor day.


New Member
Tressa, its like you took a part out of my post "old difficult child teacher called today." I told him of my difficult children most recent diagnosis, aspergers and he said, "Ya, I kinda thought that of him." But not once the entire time he had him, did he say, ya know, maybe he should be evaluated, maybe you should read this book, have you ever heard of this...yada yada yada. NADA! Grrr! It is sooo frustrating. Now we're at this new school where none of the faculty know me and I feel at a loss because they have no idea where my kids have come from. I started with the youngest difficult children teacher tonight, trying to tell her all hes been through in 6 seconds or less, I hope she listened. I too intend on sending out an email. I just pray they actually read it!


Active Member
It is important for every parent who has a child with an IEP to make contact with their teachers. After getting first quarter grades I had a chat with difficult child's art teacher who had no knowledge that he had an IEP. He'd received it at the beginning of the year, filed it with the others but he has about 400 students in multiple schools in the district and without flagging it in his gradebook he had no way to keep track of it.

You have pulled back the curtain and seen the smoke and mirrors of our current educational system. In the last few years I have found the school counselors in our system to be the LEAST helpful people for difficult child. This hurts, because my training is as a counselor, and I have always hoped for more. Quite honestly,at this point, I have given up all expectations from a school counselor. I deal directly with the director of the 504 program for the entire school system. I have learned from experience to DEMAND a 504 meeting BEFORE school starts. I also schedule appointments individually with all of the teachers (difficult child is in high school) and we work out plans together. Last year his Spanish teacher asked me for help in working with him (she's the greatest in my book). We surfed the web and found tons of research and information about teaching foreign languages to folks with short term memory problems. difficult child earned a "B" in that class, with much blood, sweat, and tears. And this year, I see from the syllabus that all of the Spanish teachers are using some of these teaching techniques we found. Gee, they must work for ALL of the kids!!!

Did any of this eminate from the school counselor? NO... From the principal.... NO. It took someone from the superintendent's office who understands the legal ramifications of not fully working the 504 plan or the IEP the way they are supposed to be worked to get someone's attention. It is still a work in progress, and that work is the work of difficult child and us, his family. I fear that with a few exceptions this is the way it is everywhere. Put on your Mommy Warrior helmet and keep plugging away. I know, it doesn't make us any friends among the school set, but I figure maybe a difficult child who follows after my difficult child can benefit in some small way.


How frustrating! Our new third grade teacher didn't know about my difficult child's 504/special needs either. I was so glad that I had a chance to talk with her. It seems as if this is pretty common. It's a never ending fight, huh? So exhausting at times. Hang in there! Michele


I've never gotten anywhere with the guidance counselor's with my difficult child either. The elementary school counselor told me, "Heather, [difficult child] doesn't have a problem. You do." Middle school counselor wanted to know why she wasn't on medications (at that time she wasn't) and then said the teacher's don't think there's a problem with difficult child.

I then contacted the Student Services Director at the Admin office who got the VP involved. Big difference. I'd skip the counselor altogether and go to the VP, then Student Services/SpEd Director if that doesn't work.