She finally got CAUGHT - YEE-HAW!!!!!

[katya02]

Shawna, Happy New Year! What an inspiration you are. Sharing your story and thoughts on the board has helped me continue detaching in my situation; it has helped me stay strong. I'm sorry you've gotten threatening phone calls ... it also sounds to me like the guy was asked to harass you, or that someone is trying to extort money. I really hope they give the kid more time. Anyone making calls like this is committing assault and needs to be held accountable.

Stay strong, enjoy your husband and son, enjoy the possibilities of the new year.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Shawna, here s your diploma for passing detachment 101. You have earned it!

Sending hugs, prayers, and support.

 

[hearts and roses]

{{Shawna}} I have haven't commented much on your situation, but I have had you and your daughter in my thoughts. I"m so glad they found her and she's at least on the 'inside' rather than on the streets where she can get into further trouble.

I am in awe of your strength and ability to detach as you have. And I think it's awesome that you may send the sw in your stead to the hearing - I think that's better. For me, I would just crumble a little if I went in person, despite all the BS your daughter put you through - it would be hard to see her in person and not want to reach out, even a little bit.

Anyway, hugs and support!

 

[Kjs]

So glad to hear she is safe. I can't imagine not knowing. I agree, how bitter sweet.
You are so strong. Hang in there.

 

[bran155]

I have the goose bumps as I am reading all of your wonderful responses. Thank you so much for all of the encouragement!!! I never thought of myself as actually helping or being an inspiration, I am usually the "needy" one. So thank you for making me feel like a "warrior mom". It does feel really good to be able to function daily without the many meltdowns I am used to having. It's like I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop, as if the detachment isn't real, it's a fluke and I will fall apart any day now. BUT I DON'T!!! What a great feeling. I recommend detaching to all!!! lol It is very hard to do but it is a process and I truly believe we all get to that point, its is just a natural progression. I don't take full credit for it, you all played a huge role in my being able to detach. Believe me, you did!!! I would not be in such a peaceful place right now if I didn't have all of you in my corner. This board has made such a difference in my life.

I wish all of you many great things to come in 2009. God bless and thanks again.

Shawna

 

[everywoman]

Shawna---you will never lose that feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. That's just a by-product of years with a difficult child. What you do learn, however, is that when it drops it is their responsibility to pick it up---and you have no guilt for letting them pick it up themselves. It is a freeing feeling, life without guilt. My dad was a major difficult child. The one thing he taught me is that you can't live your life fully if you carry the guilt for your own mistakes in life. Carrying the guilt for someone else is twice as burdensome, and it doubles when they make you feel like you are responsible. I'm glad you are learning to let go. It is a process. You will still have days that the what if thoughts will nag at you. Just push them down. Find something else to occupy your mind. Blessing to you and your family.

 

[luvmyottb]

I am glad to hear she is in jail. I know that gives you some peace of mind to know where she is.

You have shown great spirit getting through the holidays. Keep up the strength,warrior mom. May you have a wonderful new year.

 

[jbrain]

Shawna---you will never lose that feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. That's just a by-product of years with a difficult child. What you do learn, however, is that when it drops it is their responsibility to pick it up---and you have no guilt for letting them pick it up themselves. It is a freeing feeling, life without guilt.

Wow, I really like this, Everywoman! I always like reading your responses, you have a great way of communicating!

Jane

 

[trinityroyal]

Shawna, I am so glad to hear that your difficult child is safe AND that you've been able to detach from her drama and let her deal with the consequences of her choices.

You sound so very strong in these posts, and I am glad to hear that strength in you. It's wonderful that peace has returned to your home. You, husband and your little son deserve that.

Wishing all the best to you in 2009.
Sending many hugs,
Trinity

 

[Nancy]

Shawna, I think when we live with someone who has such extreme behaviors as our difficult child's have, there is a huge sense of relief when we are no longer under the constant level of stress. When my difficult child was in New Orleans last year with the hs band and when she was on a cruise with her cousin, I felt like I was a new person. I walked and talked and thought differently. I felt like a chain had been lifted from my shoulders. I could go to bed at night and not worry about the phone ringing with bad news (well I did worry about her jumping off the cruise ship). So I can understand your detachment now and I hope it brings new resolve that you will no longer allow her to manipulate or treat you badly.

Hugs,
Nancy

 

[compassion]

Yes, I felt like that this past week while she was on ski trip. It is a reminder to allow myself some down time DAILY to detatch and focuson me. Compassion