Should I pull him out of public school?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Linsey, May 17, 2011.

  1. Linsey

    Linsey New Member

    Here is our story. Three years ago when difficult child was 11, we went through the whole circle of IEP, Special Education classes and arrangements, suspensions, detentions, home instruction, etc. Finally, after the school insisted on placing him in exclusive Special Education. class, we pulled him put of public school system and placed him in small private school - total of less than 100 kids at school, 7 kids in the classroom. This arragement let us breath for a year and a half, mainly because the school wanted to keep as many kids as possible and resolved any issues at school without involving the parents. Academically, he made a great progess in such a short period of time. Last year the school closed we went back to public school, he was ok for the first few months, but now it is again the same story. Got several calls from the principal, a couple of suspensions, failing almost every subject. In addition we lost any control over him that we had at home. He stopped eating homemade food, ran away for a few hours, arrogant, disruptive, called the police on me after I took away his emo clothes. I am at point of a nervous breakdown. I was checking other private schools in the area but at the same time I am thinking why do I keep trying to pull him out when he himself does not care. Instead of trying to set up a safety net, should i just let him fall until he realizes that it is his life.
  2. aeroeng

    aeroeng Mom of Three

    If the reason you are putting him in private school is medical based it is a good strategy. Emotional/ Behavioral issues do fall within mental health. If he did well in the private school before you might consider trying again if you can afford it, and can get in.

    We also pulled our kids out of the public system because they kept getting threatened and we felt the public school was not safe or addressing their individual needs. Our youngest is also in a small church based school with less then 100 kids and class sizes less then 10. I found that most of the affordable private schools were religious based. Which was not what I was looking for, but have found seems to work for us. In the small school they seem to have the approach that "God is testing us, and we need to save this sole". Therefor they seem willing to do what ever needs to be done to get him on track. I would rather have professional teachers who understand the issues better, but devoted teachers are working for us. We have found that the educational requirements are much higher in the private schools, but they also provide more support to meet them. There also seems to be a much stronger emphasis on being a responsible and ethical citizen.

    Cost is a major factor, it is a huge investment, and you do need to ask if it is worth the price. It works better when the student is on board. If he absolutely will not participate then no it is not worth the price. And, if he does not shape up some it may be harder to get into a private school. On the other side, we have found the private route worked better for us.
  3. wintak

    wintak New Member

    I have easy child#1 who is not a difficult child (thank goodness) but does have needs like doesn't do well in chaos, is somewhat sensitive to sound (and chaos) so we did find a private school for her that would be less chaotic and less loud and help her with her educational goals (she's HGT) . We have toyed with putting in difficult child in a private school but...some of the private schools do not want problem kids (and wouldn't take difficult child) and some private schools lack the ability to help those with academic or behavioural problems. I ended up with a charter school and while the classes are larger than I would like, this particular one DOES have the capacity to deal with difficult child which has been a godsend over last year. Oh the stories I have about getting him help last year via the school system... There is another private school that is open to taking difficult child but I'm not sure he's on board. He was LOVING the school on the day he visited because he was treated like a KING. Then I broke the news that that school does have homework and does have rules and such...then he wasn't as excited.
    Some privates do have lots of financial aid. Are you in an area where you can opt in to a different school that might not be your neighborhood school that might be better able to deal with difficult child?