Malika
Well-Known Member
Well, you know... small things get so blown out of proportion with difficult children, don't they? No major incidents this evening after I picked J up from school - he excited because tomorrow we are going to collect our new dog - until bath-time. He washed himself and I said he could have a gold star (he gets gold stars all the time to motivate and reward... the chart goes on for months and he is quite happy with just getting the stars). Then, as the bath water was draining, he was sitting looking at the water saying he was looking for "the yellow"... uh, oh, I thought, he's peed in the bath. But, no, turns out it was his bottle of shampoo which he had almost emptied into the bath. I was cross - and said, out of my annoyance, that he was not getting the gold star (even though this was a mistake as once he gets a star it shouldn't be retracted). I talked to him, crossly, about how it was a naughty thing to do and shampoo costs money. He then started on this great performance of crying and shouting, saying he wanted to live with daddy... I said that if daddy was here, he would also be cross. He then started crying piteously saying he had "a naughty mummy and daddy" and wanted "a nice mummy and daddy". I just waited for him to calm down then asked him if he knew it was naughty? Yes, he did. I felt there should be some sort of consequence but what? He doesn't get any pocket money. And consequences in any case always cause this great fuss and furore, as if he is being severely abused...
Really, what is the point of all this? I want him to understand that shampoo costs money, that it is for your head not to be used as bubble bath and he must not do it again. That is my desired outcome... We talked about it, he said sorry. We did a role-play where he was the mummy and I was him putting shampoo in the bath; he got cross with me and seemed to understand something. Seemed but it's hard to say.
Such drama and emotion all the time... and that's just me As usual, with these kind of scenes, I am left feeling battle weary and vaguely ill at ease.
Well, what would YOU have done...?
Really, what is the point of all this? I want him to understand that shampoo costs money, that it is for your head not to be used as bubble bath and he must not do it again. That is my desired outcome... We talked about it, he said sorry. We did a role-play where he was the mummy and I was him putting shampoo in the bath; he got cross with me and seemed to understand something. Seemed but it's hard to say.
Such drama and emotion all the time... and that's just me As usual, with these kind of scenes, I am left feeling battle weary and vaguely ill at ease.
Well, what would YOU have done...?