Sigh. Terrible Rotten Day. (complaining ahead)

[StressedM0mma]

This was just one of those days. Started cr@ppy and went down hill faster than a rollercoaster. I had a commitment this morning that I had to take the foster puppies to, so husband had to take difficult child to school. She was dragging her feet on getting into the shower and getting ready. I have no idea what happened, but husband got her to school, and I did the deep sigh of"thank goodness" Not much later I get a phone call on my cell from the home phone! I was super freaked. I answer. It was difficult child. She went into school, put her backpack in her locker, and walked out of the building and went home!! NO ONE STOPPED HER!!!!! She walked out of that building without anyone there knowing she had left!!
I called school to tell them what happened, and then talked to difficult child. I have never heard her so freaked out. I think she was having a total full blown panic attack. And, I couldn't get home to her. I didn't drive. She told my husband she wants to drop out of school. UGH! Just when you think things are going well.
It just reminded me that I can't let my guard down at all. As soon as I think things are going well, BAM! I know I was warned there would be setbacks. But this one snuck up on me.
Good ju-ju that tomorrow is a better day.

 

[lonelyroad]

I am sorry to read this, sigh...I was thinking along the same lines today..

When can we relax? Or let our guard down???

Everyone says take one day at a time, so I guess on these good days, I will enjoy my happy child, hoping medications will work, but sensing that they won't...

I also know that my difficult child could walk out of school, and it wouln't be noticed right away...thankfully she is too scared for now, of authority figures...

I hope tomorrow is better for you guys.

My highschool son could also leave an NO ONE would know..

 

[recoveringenabler]

I'm sorry you had such a bad day, it's scary to hear our difficult child's so freaked out. I hope tomorrow is a better day and that this is an isolated day, that tomorrow will return you to some peace and calm. HUGS to you.

 

[TeDo]

Stressed, I don't know if you've thought about it or not but do you think an online school would work better for her? It might be something to consider. It has done WONDERS for difficult child 1. Just a thought.

{{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to you AND her. I have had more than my fair share of full-blown panic attacks and they are NOT fun. They are very debilitating and what's worse is when you don't want to be like that and there isn't a d*** thing you can do about it. It is a VERY helpless feeling. I sympathize with her and completely empathize with you.

 

[StressedM0mma]

Something is going on that she is not sharing. She asked me to sleep in her room last night. This is what happened last time we started the downward spiral. Hoping today is better. She promised
that she would go to school today.

 

[lonelyroad]

Good luck today!! Hope it goes well!

 

[Bunny]

When you called the school and told them that she was dropped off and walked right back out, what did they say?

Was she able to go to school today?

 

[buddy]

I'm hoping you are having a much better morning! Sure, any high school kid can leave unless they have direct aides all day in an IEP and so I can see that a school would never know, how could they?

Is she really panicking or is she slipping into her old coping mechanisms you had talked about before??? I sure hope she can feel better today....

 

[StressedM0mma]

No school again today. I am not sure if it is old coping skills or not. I am watching closely to see. She says she is going tomorrow. I called school and they were like "Oh that is a safety issue" really?

difficult child is really confusing me. She is very happy. She is laughing and cracking jokes, doing chores and taking care of her horse. She doesn't seem depressed. She just starts freaking out when it is time to get ready for school. I just really need for her to go to school tomorrow. I just need the time to myself. I do not know how you homeschooling moms and moms with difficult children home most of the time do it. I need her out of my face sometimes. I know that sounds terrible, but I am sure you all understand that. I am totally exhausted today. I would live to go to bed early, but I have to make sure that difficult child goes up to bed. I am beginning to feel like a warden and not a parent. Monday's therapist appointment. cannot come soon enough.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Labels are just lines in the sand, really.
Mood disorders overlap, majorly.
Depression, anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)... etc.
Where does one end the the next start? Who knows?
Do you get depressed because anxiety shuts down your life? Or do you get anxious because of the depression? Again, who knows?

She's dealing with a range of things. If it were simple, you'd have found good answers long before now. It's complex. So you keep slogging away.

{{hugs}} to both of you.

 

[StressedM0mma]

Thanks IC. That is about all I can do each day. Of course school keeps tossing out other dxs as well. First it was Aspergers, now yhey are saying ADD. I don't care what they want to call it. I just want her back, and I know it is not happening. Some days are harder than others.

 

[soapbox]

SM -
Mind if I toss something really radical into the mix?
What if you assume that the anxiety and depression and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) etc. are all secondary dxes? Assume that she is suffering from major burnout due to a hidden challenge or two?

Is there any way you could test the theory?

Has she ever been tested by a Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) for auditory issues? I'm thinking in terms of the lesser-known APDs like auditory figure ground, here. If she has it, it may not as "over the top" as difficult child has it, but even at moderate levels, it demands significant brain power just to "listen"... which leaves less brain power for everything else. Mental exhaustion contributes to sleep problems. Declining performance contributes to anxiety. And so things snowball.

Given that school is agreeing that there has to be something else going on... would school support an initial screening? Just make sure they specifically test for auditory figure ground - the "hearing through noise" tests. If this is her challenge, something as simple as a personal fm system (sometimes called an auditory trainer) can make a HUGE difference, very quickly.

Or, if they can't pull testing together quickly, is there a personal FM system that she could try?

Have you ever asked her if she would rather learn in a small quiet setting than in a classroom, and why? (especially, if you ever asked before the depression showed up) Because that is often a clue. Or, did you ever notice that sometimes she wouldn't quite catch something you would tell her, and you were never sure why?

The beauty of dxes like Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) (and Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD)) is that these are more physical than psychological. There are no medications - just accommodations and interventions. And most people out there - including teenagers - are more comfortable with a "physical" problem than a "mental" one - even if the "mental" problem is something simple and non-threatening as ADD.

 

[StressedM0mma]

Soapbox, I would live to think that could be the issue, but she had always been able to hear a whispered conversation over a room full of noise. And, she has never had an issue with classroom work before. She just keeps saying that she can't sit there anymore. She just repeats that over and over. It is soo boring I just can't sit there. I think she is so overwhelmed with the change she cannot handle it. All I know is that we have got to figure this out.

 

[confuzzled]

Thanks IC. That is about all I can do each day. Of course school keeps tossing out other dxs as well. First it was Aspergers, now yhey are saying ADD. I don't care what they want to call it. I just want her back, and I know it is not happening. Some days are harder than others.

neither of these things can be diagnosed by school--they are medical diagnosis', and need to be diagnosed by a qualified professional outside of the school district.

she can most certainly be on an IEP as OHI (other health impaired)...goals, objectives and mods are written to meet a childs needs, not some blanket cookie cutter computerized paper geared to some right or wrong diagnosis.

i would stop listening to the school and their well meaning, yet misguided, "suggestions"--otherwise, you'll make yourself crazy.

 

[soapbox]

Soapbox, I would live to think that could be the issue, but she had always been able to hear a whispered conversation over a room full of noise. And, she has never had an issue with classroom work before. She just keeps saying that she can't sit there anymore. She just repeats that over and over. It is soo boring I just can't sit there. I think she is so overwhelmed with the change she cannot handle it. All I know is that we have got to figure this out.

That's just it, SM. People with this Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) can hear - often very well. (difficult child is that way).
It's one of those disabilities where they CAN perform.
Except, it takes far more effort than the person who doesn't have the disability.
If the Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) is severe, they "hit the wall" much sooner.
But... if the Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) is moderate, and the student is bright and/or happens to get a series of well-managed classes and exceptional teachers, it might not show up for a long time.

I'm not saying that there's even really a high chance that she has Auditory Processing Disorders (APD).
Just that... school is really catching on that "something else" is up.
So... if they are going to toss out there things like Aspie/Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)... the chances are much higher that it would be a hidden disability instead.

See if school will put the resources on the table to rule out a few more things? Just in case?