Sighing, just keep sighing

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mrscatinthehat, Dec 21, 2007.

  1. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    You know it is so hard to garner up the gumption to figure out what to do. difficult child 2 ran the night before the party. He was found with cigarettes and a lighter. Well staff thought that they had gotten everything from him.

    Guess what. They didn't. They called this morning to let us know what he did last night. We weren't here so I called back this afternoon to find out what was up.

    He had gotten a bunch of paper towels and set them around him and had a lighter and said that he was going to light them and kill himself that way.

    Well now this is not his first firebug moment. He didn't get them lit. But this is not necessarily the point.

    All's I can drum up is a lot of sighs. Then the case supervisor (not even the manager but supervisor) asked if we were still planning on having him come home on the 26th. I said I didn't know and that I wasn't prepared to make that decision today. She said ok. I said since he doesn't know that we will probably be making that decision on the morning of the 26th. She was ok with that and said she understands.

    If he does come home his dad will essentially take him into the restroom on his return and strip him to his undies to make sure no contraband goes back. How sad is that? Not that we won't do it because he is so capable of being sneaky and clepto-y (I know it isn't a word).

    You know husband and I are celebrating Christmas with extended family and we plan to enjoy it. I certainly am not feeling bad about difficult child not being there at this point. And that feels so wrong.

  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    {{{HUGSSS}}} I wish I knew what to say. My difficult child apparently has a self-destructive and fire "thing" going on, too. I can't get to the root of it. But... a few years ago, before difficult child had difficult child issues, a guy I had worked with for years had a teenage son that committed suicide. All of us at the office knew this kid, and of course the Dad, so it was tormenting to us all. When my difficult child started a brush fire this past spring, I flipped. When I learned the details of how he lit matches and dropped them in dried leaves around himself, it was a different thought process for me. It might not have hit me that way except he had "self-destructive fire issues" last spring when he was diagnosis'd with- major depression. All I'm trying to say is, try to remember that there really is something going on with them.

    Obviously, something is going on with your difficult child. If you can't identify it and help it now, I hope you can find (and keep) someone who can help.

    I feel for you, as we may be walking in your shoes in the future!!
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    With the firebug issue, difficult child is right where he needs to be right now.

    I think there are periods when our difficult children push us to the limit and beyond. I think when that happens we sort of go numb. Maybe it's to protect ourselves from emotions we're too exhausted to handle at the time. I dunno. I know I spent a good bit of Nichole's pregnancy in that state of mind.

  4. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    So so sorry.........It must be so hard for you.........

    When is the last time he had a medication adjustment? It sounds like things have gotten progressively worse with him lately, and I am just wondering if maybe a medication change is in order. I know with my difficult child, it seems about every 18 months we are changing one of the medications because he is still growing and changing so quickly.

    Big hugs!
  5. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest


    (((((((BIG HUGS)))))))