snitching or not



I recieved a call from school yesterday. VP told me that difficult child and another student were found coming out of a teachers personal closet as the teacher entered the room. Both boys were sent to the office, talked to seperately and gave the same story. Someone pushed them into the closet.
Both boys were given the opportunity to give the VP the name, but both chose not to. Resulting in consequences..In school suspention. VP tells me the other boy has never been in trouble before, and he was sent to the ISS room. difficult child, however, does not do well in the ISS room, so VP kept him in the office. Just had him sitting in a chair in the office area, but he started getting lous. So he had him in his office, which he is a busy man and isn't exactly how he wants to spend his day. But difficult child is now leaving his office and he has to keep getting him. So, I went to pick him up. VP gave him a break, because if he was in the ISS room and he got kicked out, it is automatic out of school suspension and he said he didn't want that to happen.
I talked with both VP and difficult child and asked difficult child what he chose, punishment or giving the name. He chose punishment. OK. His choice.
Meanwhile, there is a field trip today. Money and slips had to be in on Wednesday. I waited until Wednesday because they could have No ISS(in school suspension) or OSS (Out of school suspension)and with difficult child it is a daily issue. So, now, this is Thursday and he has ISS. So, I asked if he would be going on the field trip? VP said we needed to speak to the teacher in charge. So, we walked down there. We asked her, and she said that difficult child should not be going anyway since he had been in trouble and in the office most of Monday and Tuesday. I looked at difficult child (not aware of trouble) and difficult child said, "I was being tested Monday and Tuesday". That is correct. Several hours each day, he missed her class both days. She said no he can't go, so I asked for a refund and he did go to school today but will be left behind. It was his choice to choose the punishment. But it really upsets me that the teachers (more than just this time) automatically assume that difficult child has done something and is in trouble. Why weren't they notified as to why difficult child was not in class? Just like I found out that none of his elective teachers are aware that he takes medication, or that there is any issues with him. Business teacher called and we had a long chat, she had no idea he had a diagnosis or was on medications..which at that point we had a change in medications and I asked Special Education teacher to watch and let me know if she see's any changes.
Talked to a neighbor about difficult child's choice. She asked her daughter who goes to a charter school what she would do. same age. She said take the punishment. Then I asked another neighbor just out of curiosity, also same age, same school. Asked if he were to get into trouble because of what someone else did would he report the name or take punishment. Take punishment. Not me..I would difficult child gets in enough trouble by himself, he doesn't need help.
Anyway, IEP on Monday. Really scared about this one. I am all alone with about 13 others. I feel like it will be a firing squad.

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Personally, I'd be putting on my :warrior: suit. I'm hopping mad and the difficult child isn't even mine!

Excuse me???? Since when does a kid get punished for being bullied and pushed into a closet??? What does this VP have for brains swiss cheese??? Let's make the whole situation worse by punishing the victims then add to it that a teacher decides to compound it even further! :nonono:

If these kids didn't want to snitch then so be it. But they did nothing to be PUNISHED for? What the heck is going on at that school???

Oh yeah! I'm fuming. Sure difficult child's get into trouble. But he didn't actually get into trouble. He's being punished for nothing and now can't go on a field trip too. What message is this sending to your son? Not a good one.

I wouldn't be the nervous one, those people at the IEP meeting would be cringing when they saw me coming.

(they usually were lmao)

You need to get good and mad. This was way out of line. in my opinion



New Member
<span style='font-size: 11pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #663366"> sorry, lisa, but i disagree. with-o the boys naming the culprit the VP has no choice but to punish the two. they were where they weren't supposed to be & offered no tangible proof that someone pushed them in there.

most kids this age will not narc another schoolmate. friend or not.

</span> </span> </span>


Active Member
kids will not tell on each other as they get older. even ant did not tell on the people who robbed him two wks ago. they are afraid of repercussions.


With the way this school responds to your difficult child, they don't seem to need much of an excuse to punish him. I would be hopping mad. And everyone in that school district would know my name by the time I was done.