I imagine we have all reached a point where we were tempted to completely wash our hands of our adult Difficult Child. But have any of you ever actually done so? I came very close today after talking to my son on the phone. I was trying to get some information so I could do something for him that he had asked me to do, specifically send him my old cell phone. Either he wasn't understanding what I was asking, or I wasn't understanding what he was telling me, or both. But it ended up with him getting very annoyed with me, which basically entailed an arrogant imperious-sounding "what are you, stupid?" tone in his voice and even a couple of "f bombs." I drop them on occasion myself but never directed at anyone, except when I'm joking with a friend who does the same. Certainly never towards someone whose help I am seeking. And the conversation ended abruptly. I understand that phone time is limited at the facility but he ended with "I have to go, bye." No "love you" or anything. What makes the bill even harder to swallow is that the last three or four times we've talked it ended on a negative note because I either didn't say the right thing, or expressed the right sentiment but didn't word it correctly, or pissed him off in some other way. I'm hurting now because it seems our relationship has devolved back to what it was before he left home. He treats me as if I have little standing or value in his life...today I heard the perfect phrase, "a useful idiot." That's how he makes me feel lately when we talk. Even before he went to rehab, I only heard from him when he needed or wanted something from me. No calls just to check in and let me know he was still breathing, or to see how I was doing, or anything. His excuse was "You know I don't have access to a phone." Yet he somehow managed to call his best friend from school and his former roommate, and of course the boyfriend. But can't spare five minutes for his mother. He doesn't realize how close I am to telling him that after rehab he can get wherever he wants to go the best way he can. Because this is one hand that, if you bite it, will stop feeding you. Am I looking at this wrong? Am I supposed to just swallow his attitude and hurtful words and treat him as if nothing is wrong? (which is getting harder to do each time we talk). I don't need the hurt and aggravation, I had enough of that when he was younger. If we can't have an adult mutually respectful relationship with each other I'm not sure I want one at all just now.