there a secret handshake or t-shirt that I can get

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by mstang67chic, Feb 3, 2010.

  1. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    ...for joining the "my kid is in jail" club?

    A little back story....

    difficult child is almost 20 and on his thir attempt at graduating high school. He has been attending night school until he passes a few finals and gets his grades up to passing in 4 or 5 classes. He is within a week or so of accomplishing this and being done. Apparently though, that's too close to sucess for his comfort because he did a whopper of a self sabatoge today.

    It seems as though a SIXTEEN year old was making fun of him or simply just looked at difficult child funny so difficult child whalloped him with a chair and started punching him. So now, difficult child has landed himself in big boy jail. The other kid, fortunately is ok and coincidently the son of a friend of mine. I just got off the phone with her to check on her son B (he's also diabetic. Great difficult child....whale on a kid who doesn't heal normally...way to go). She was surprised that difficult child did it too because as far as the both of us knew, the boys have been getting along. They hang out occasionally and have each slept over with the other before. Heck...I baby sat B now and then when he was a baby and his mom was a bridesmaid when husband and I got married.

    I've been getting texts and calls from Janet and Star (bless the both of you!) but really...I'm fine. I'm frustrated and angry but I'm fine. difficult child will have to wait till Friday to go to court which....evil of me...I think is funny. He'll have to sit his scrawny little behind in jail for an extra day. After that...I don't know. husband and I have absolutely no plans to bail him out so I don't know how long he'll be there or if he'll get ROR'd. What DOES worry me though is that he assaulted a 16 year old. difficult child picked a hades of an offense to self sabatoge. husband fortunately is off Friday so we both can go to court. But...we told difficult child on his 18th birthday that from then on, we would not be bailing him out, paying for an attorney or paying fines. We did that more than we should have when he was a juvenile and we don't HAVE to do it anymore. Actually...when I was down at the jail earlier dropping off difficult child's medications, I was talking to the bailiff (or whoever) who is someone husband used to work with. He mentioned that when difficult child was being processed someone brought up bail and difficult child commented that no one was going to pay for that. Huh....guess he listened to me more than I thought he did.

    So....I'll know more on Friday once they decide what exactly they are going to charge him with. I don't know if the fact that B is 16 will help or hurt but his mom said that if they ask for an impact or victim's statement...we have nothing to worry about from them.

    I'll keep you updated and I'll be watching for my t-shirt.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have been sitting here refreshing my browser every 10 seconds waiting for you to post!

    Your tee shirt emblem is in the email. Look for it. Or you could just put it as your avatar. LOL.

    I think him sitting in the jail over a few nights is a good thing. I hope Big Bubba is his cellmate! I hope this scares him silly. If it does, and he learns a thing or two, maybe he will decide he doesnt want to go back.
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Sorry Janet. I had it almost completely typed out and then the phone rang. While I was on the phone, the kitten walked across my keyboard and made my post disappear.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Bad kitty, bad bad kitty!
  5. Bean

    Bean Member

    Welcome to the club.
  6. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    I wish I could help you get rid of some of that stress, but even in French the cursing wouldn't make it past the censor...

    Is this the first time he has assaulted someone? Hitting with a chair seems pretty drastic.

    I'm so sorry,'Stang, I'm part of the "my kid has been in jail" club too.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I wonder if we could get a ribbon like they do for Aids or Breast Cancer?

    What color would it be?

    I know...Bright Jailhouse Orange! Or Black and White stripes!
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, Stang. Hope difficult child learns something. At least he heard you say you wouldn't bail him out...that's something, I guess.
  9. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    (((((Hugs))))) I'm sorry. :(
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I sent you a GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD.....

    I gave Dude the real one...tonight I asked him for it back so I could take a picture of it to text to you. Then I got your text and came here and saw your new avatar and nearly spit on the screen.

    ROFLM monopoly community chest off. :laugh:
    I'm so sorry - have to find the humor where we can...

    My shirt says - My teenager went to jail and all I got was this lousy tshirt. 5900 logged non-tax deductible miles to probabtion, a depleted savings account, an extensive unwanted knowledge of the legal system, the truth behind what a cop can and can not offer you (they can't make a deal like Monty Hall no matter WHAT they tell you), a healthy fear that 9 out of 10 police officers are liars, a waffle hiney from someones idea of comfy benches in a jail waiting area, thug-isms ie: canteen is not something you take camping to hold water - it's a place you put money, a boat is a plastic sleeping bed for suicidal parties, NOT a watercraft. The prosecuting attorney is NOT your friend no matter how nice you are, your public defender is NOT necessarily a genius just because he/she is practicing law. No you can NOT talk to your kids probation officer even IF he is mental. Oh he's on drugs? Good you keep those Mom he can't have them here. AND don't bother the juvenille justice system even when your kid threatens suicide because you're just babying him -even if the case worker hangs up during your conversation with her rapidly and is yelling OH MY GOD and says THE (your last name) boy?

    Yeah - that's my shirt.
    Welcome to the club - you'll have to write your own shirt. :laugh:
  11. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I'm sorry he's messed up so badly. I hope everything works out for the best...
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I like that idea, Janet! But honestly, I would want it to be a secret because I'm sick of people looking down their noses at me over it.
  13. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Do you have to wear jellies with that t-shirt?
  14. ML

    ML Guest

    I really do hope he learns something in there. Dang.

    I hope the get out of jail card thing isn't prophetic. When Manster and I play monopoly he insists on getting both of them and made up a rule that he and only he gets to keep them and he uses them liberally! Yikes.
  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Usually assaulting a juvenille doesn't go over well in the legal system. Not trying to worry you, but this has been my experience with it. My difficult child nephews are equally skilled at self sabotage.

    Success can be a scary acheivement for a difficult child. People might expect them to repeat it. Seriously. He may not have thought it consciously.....but there it is.

    A few nights in jail certainly won't hurt him regardless. If nothing else it may run home the fact that his parents won't be bailing him out of his messes anymore. Maybe that will be enough to stave off the fear of success long enough for him to discover he is capible of behaving like the rest of us. (I'm not sure that came out right. I hope you know what I meant)

    Dang, you really hate to see them get so darn close and do such a thing to mess it up so badly.

  16. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Bob Barker flip flops......

    Bob Barker food, soap, shampoo, you didn't know THAT. NO I am NOT joking. Bob Barker....neuters pets and supplies inmates with sandals, socks and pizza.....

    something is really backwards here. :tongue:
  17. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    OMG- I thought that was just here, in our Department of Juvenile Justice. The first thing difficult child told me at my visit after he got transferred and I was asking if I was allowed to bring him toiletries, was "no mom, we get all that- it's made by Bob Barker". LOL!
  18. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thats a new one on me.
  19. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    difficult child's sopa, shampoo, toothpaste, and toothbrush, and I think deoderant, are Bob Barker produced- apparently they are minimal, too, which is ok for incarcerated folks. Example- difficult child says the shampoo won't really lather. He can spend his "points" he earns to get other mainstream brands of this stuff.

    Star, I think you're on to something. If most facilities use this, the T-shirt should be a photo of Bob Barker with a collage of all this stuff!
  20. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Ug. so sorry to hear the club has a new member. Some states would consider this scenario "child abuse" since your difficult child is 19. I hope not as that would not be good at all. In my state the extent of the injuries determines the charge. When my difficult child went off on me and kicked me breaking my rib he was charged with misdemenor harrasment until they discovered broken bones. Then it was upped to felony assault.

    I will hope that this goes well for you and that your difficult child gets off lightly. While sitting in jail I hope he comes to the realization that he needs to get his temper under control no matter what it takes. -RM