So. Short backstory - there was lots of disobedient difficult child drama involving social media this summer, resulting in her phone being taken away permanently and being grounded from computer use. Upon getting limited computer/internet privileges back somewhere around September, the FIRST thing difficult child decides to do is once again break the rules by going into a tween chat area, posing as a boy, and trying to get girls to "date" her. After that incident, she was grounded indefinitely from the computer because she has made it obvious that she just can't handle it. Tonight, in passing, she mentioned that she had gotten an email from her biomom. Huh? Exactly when was she told that she was allowed to email? Apparently at school one day (within the past week) she decided that she didn't want to be grounded anymore and got onto her email and has been emailing every day at lunch. When, do you ask, did my dear husband find out about this? SEVERAL DAYS AGO when his mom asked him about why difficult child was emailing her. What, do you ask, did he do about it? NOTHING! Oh, he did mention it to difficult child, and she said she was only emailing him and her grandma (his mom). Apparently he thought that was a-ok. I only found out about it TONIGHT. She has been emailing many more people than just husband and grandma. I came unglued, and that was BEFORE I found out that husband had known she was emailing. He is actually waffling on whether or not we should lay down the law. I don't care WHOM she is emailing, to me the bottom line is she started doing it without permission! He said "well, sometime we're going to have to let her have access to this kind of stuff," and I told him we sure do NOT "have to" let her do this kind of stuff when it's obvious she has no respect for the rules and can't handle the privilege of internet use. He's going to "talk to her" when he takes her to school tomorrow, and he's going to "decide" how to handle it later on. I CALL BS. She is already blaming this on me (like she does everything), saying that I'm "overreacting" and mean, blah blah blah. If he lets her get away with this, I feel like it would be catastrophic on many levels. It would give her power, it would show a lack of parental unity, it would re-enforce her notion that I'm too strict, etc etc etc. I need to calm down. I just really don't know what else to do, but I'm so PI$$ED off at both of them that I'm sitting here shaking and fighting back tears.