I just want to ask that people dont critize me or put me down, call me names or dis-credit my parenting. Trust me I feel bad enough and didnt come here for critism, I came here for support. So I dont know how to deal with my emotions about having a little boy living in my home who has ADHD, ODD, developmental delays and a few other disorders that are in "pending" process due to his young age. I love him to death and would lay my life down for him. However, its very hard for me to show affection and love when I am constantly frustrated, annoyed, and grossed out by him. Some of his behaviors include constant hyperactivity, temper tantroms that can last up to 20 mins multiple times a day, his feces eating habits, his wiping boogers and snot all over his face, hair and arms, his not sleeping through the night behavior and last thing is his constant masturbating. His therapist says its normal, so fine, but that doesnt mean that it doesnt embarrass me when he does it when we are out to eat or at the store or sitting with a large group of family at the dinner table for thanksgiving. He currently takes adderal and clonidine. They both "help" but realistically they do not provide that magic of taking the problems away. Does anyone in here have any expirence dealing with these kind of emotions that I deal with? I really am emotionally beat up because I love the little boy so much, but at the same time I cant seem to cope with his behavior problems. Its so hard because I have twins who are 1yr old and hes almost 4, and I have a 10 yr old. I feel overwhelmed a lot. I can barely get anyone to babysit him, I go 5 months without a break from him and then its just an hour or so that someone offers to babysit so I can have a break. My children go with their father every weekend, but this little boy stays with me. I just need a break from him sometimes and nobody seems to care. I cry almost every night because I am frustrated or annoyed with him. He takes medications to sleep, but sometimes they work and sometimes they dont. Either way, he still tantroms before bed every night. If the pill isnt working through the nights, then he can be up 4-10 times a night just throwing a fit. I guess I want advice on how to not let it all get to me to the point I lose sleep and cry all day or night. How do I stop the feeling of getting embarrassed when he masturbates at places in front of people? He doesnt comprehend rules, I can say over and over again..not to do something and its like I just talked to a brick wall. I dont know...anyone with advice please??