Somebody called CPS on me and now I'm worried

[Californiablonde]

Susiestar the principal did NOT have my permission to take her laptop. It was agreed upon the both of us that if difficult child did miss school then I would come home on my lunch break and take away her laptop and keep it locked in my car overnight. In no way, shape, or form did I give her permission to come to my house unannounced and take something. I happened to catch her in the act on my lunch break and she "bragged" to me, "I have your daughter's laptop and I'm not giving it back for awhile". After she left my home, I asked my boyfriend why he didn't stop her. He said she just walked right in the house without knocking and was very demanding. I am still so upset over all this.

As for the cleaning, my mom came over and helped me organize and sort. We completely cleaned out the bedroom closet and I even totally cleaned out my refrigerator. I only hope it's good enough. My boyfriend is going to be conveniently on an off roading trip with his buddies when the social worker comes over. If she mentions anything about his stuff being there and insists he move out, so be it. I won't cry over it. He's not paying rent and I'm sick of playing mommy to a 52 year old. But that's another post in itself. Just wish me luck and send lots of prayers my way!

 

[Lil]

When is the visit? Special prayers sent your way!

 

[Californiablonde]

The visit is this Thursday. I am absolutely terrified. Right now I am sitting at work with a big huge panic attack. It's all I can think about. And difficult child's principal just left me a voicemail at work stating she wants yet another parent conference ASAP. difficult child has been out legitimately sick with the flu most of last week and she doesn't believe me. Now she wants another darned meeting. I'm sitting her in a panic. That woman is super intimidating!

 

[Lil]

Has she been to the doctor? There's your proof. And if she hasn't well darnit the flu is going around and I defy her to say otherwise!

Hang in there.

She HAS given the computer back, right? Because if not, I'd lead with that!

 

[Californiablonde]

She already gave the computer back. She kept it locked in her office for a week.

 

[BusynMember]

Take daughter to doctor and explain...get a note on his paper saying she is ill.

 

[Californiablonde]

I just got yelled at by the principal. She called me at work and yelled at me for ten straight minutes. She once again pointed out that since I'm an attendance clerk and I can't seem to keep my own kid in school it's a joke. She also told me that I am neglecting my daughter because I didn't take her in to see the doctor when she was sick. The reason why we never had a doctor's visit is because difficult child had no fever, the rest of my whole family had the same illness, and the doctor told everybody there's nothing to do except take over the counter cough medicine and bed rest. I explained this to the principal but she doesn't care. She accused me of lying about difficult child's ulcers even though I have medical paperwork filed with her IEP. At this point I don't know what to do but consider independent study. But difficult child can't do work on her own so then again we're back to square one. In the meantime we are going to have an IEP to discuss alternative placement for difficult child. My anxiety just skyrocketed.

 

[pasajes4]

Get an attorney asap.

 

[BusynMember]

I am not in your situation and I am not you, but I don't think I could handle working there, regardless of the pay, convenience or benefits. I simply would probably just have a mental breakdown and have to quit to survive. That is abuse that you can't do anything about. It's your boss.

If there is any way to start over somewhere else, maybe you should consider it. Better yet, do something that gets your fired and collect unemployment so you have time to find another job. You have a lot of experience. The economy is improving. You can get something...somewhere??? If it were me, I'd want to move to get my daughter out of that school district and kiss it good-bye forever. Another good thing about it would be that nobody would share anything about you or your daughter with your mother and it is insane that she is involved in this mess at all. I don't mean she shouldn't help you clean up for CPS. That was nice. I mean, she really has no business getting access to what happens to you at work or your daughter at school.

I don't know if it is possible. I am sort of starting to believe almost anything is possible if one plans and holds her head up. But if it were me, I would have no choice. It would drive me to a hospital to work under those conditions, with social workers barging into your home, with the principal constantly belitting you, it's crazy. Nuts.

Be good to yourself. Do whatever is best for you. If it is staying here, then stay. But if it's not, start to plan your escape from the nuttiest school I've ever heard of, although I'm sure there are plenty that are just as nutty that I *haven't* heard of.

I agree with those who say to get an attorney. Something stinks. I don't know the law, but you can usually get one free consultation. See if there is anything you have that could be helped in court. This is vicious. If you need to, hire that attorney or ask around to see which one nearby has been satisfactory for his/her clients.

Hugs and watch out for #1...you.

 

[witzend]

• Definitely buy a few boxes and sort your stuff into them. I do it while I watch tv.
  
  
• If there is a possibility that odors are a problem, put an open bowl of cider vinegar out now, ir will absorb odors. Somewhere higher up that it can't be knocked over. Pour it down the sink and wash the dish before she comes.
  
  
• Make sure that your vacuum cleaner has a new bag when you clean with your mom, and check it as you go along to make sure it's not getting too full - otherwise you are just spraying smelly dust all over the house.
  
  
• Use a nice smelling spray like pledge or endust when you do the furniture, it will help keep the house smelling good for a bit.
  
  
• A few hours before she is due at the house, turn on a couple of lamps and let them warm. Do a quick (I mean quick) spritz on the lightbulbs with a fresh smelling perfume. Empty the trash cans and put in fresh liners.
  
  
• Get a good old fashioned can of comet to clean the toilet, tub and sinks. Be sure to have a toilet brush that doesn't look disgusting so that they know you have something to clean the toilet with and aren't leaving germs everywhere.
  
  
• Wash linens when your mom comes and Makes beds that day. If someone sleeps on the sofa, have the bedding neatly folded nearby so that they know that someone sleeps on the sofa, but not all day long.
  
  
• Have clean towels in the bathroom and a clean sponge in the kitchen sink. Have hand soap by all sinks. If you have dirty laundry - who doesn't? - put it in a basket. Don't try to hide it. The CPS worker has dirty laundry too.
  
  
• MOST IMPORTANTLY - make sure that everyone in your home helps you with this job. They didn't like living in foster care anymore than you enjoyed them living in foster care. They need to take age appropriate responsibility to make sure that isn't on the table. They may be difficult child's but they're neither stupid nor helpless. And STAY CALM. Don't let your mother rile you. If she says something's dirty, it probably is. You can remind her that saying something like "It looks like a meth house" doesn't help and is in fact hurtful to you and the kids. Thank her for her help, and do what you can to neaten it up.

 

[Lil]

So, you actually work at the same school? That's not good. Is there any kind of hierarchy? I mean like a HR department or something? I know nothing about how employment with a school district works. But her calling you and berating you at work is very improper in my opinion. Accusing you of lying is very improper, especially when you have medical records. I think if you have a supervisor that is also over the principal, you need to bring this to their attention...including the laptop issue. The principal seems to me to be overstepping.

 

[susiestar]

Get. A. Lawyer. N.O. W.

I am not joking any more than I was about the chest pains you had. This has gone too far. This principal is very lucky she is not up on theft and B&E charges the way she would be if I were the parent who's home she walked into and took a computer. That was B&E and THEFT and those are likely FELONIES. At the very least, call the cops now about it and get a report. Also get the doctor to note that he has seen another family member and told you that unless difficult child has a fever she didn't need to be seen for medical reasons. I know here if a family member has the flu but no fever you cannot get a dr appointment unless you lie because they will not book the appointment because it is something ''going around' that doesn't require a prescription. Get the dr office to document this and then file it with the school. If they don't like it, tell them to stuff it up their tushies.

Chances are if you sent difficult child to school they would then make you take her home and call CPS if you didn't come get her within 15 mins. Why? You are not 'responsive' enough and she was too sick to be in school. I think all school districts have the rule that if a child has vomited, they cannot go to school for 24 hrs regardless of the reason. Call the district nurse to verify this, then tell school she was vomiting and their own rules say she cuold not attend.

We had this problem one year. J had severe migraines for 4 days each period and vomited each day at least 2x. I got yelled at by the office for keeping her home, and yelled at for sending her to school when she got sick the night before from a migraine. I finally had the nurse go to the school with me and tell the office people that she did not care how much J had missed, if she vomited she was out for 24 hrs and with migraines no doctor was going to see her each time. Then the idiots at the school sent a note to J's neurologist accusing them of being my friends and not a real doctor's office after they faxed a note excusing J for a migraine. School insisted on the note, then got uppity when they got one. They even insisted it be from the specialist and not the reg doctor, but then they didn't like it when they got it. It was UGLY esp after the nurse literally chewed the attendance secretary and principal out, then she called the superintendent and the super was NOT HAPPY with the principal. They made things so hard that we finally pulled J out. But J is NOT a difficult child, and she was homeschoolable. Your difficult child? Not so much.

I do think maybe a new job is in order. You were looking for a job when you found this one, and in time you will find a better job. You DO need to get the boyfriend out of the house though, esp if he is not contributing financially. It isn't like he is helping in any other way, like keeping that principal out of your house.

 

[Confused]

I still agree with everyone else here, lawyer first.. I hope you can find a better atmosphere to work in or the principal leaves.. My heart goes out to you and every time I see this thread I just wish I was there to help you out. Everyone here means a lot to me, Id be there physically for all of you if I could. My fingers are crossed and please care for yourself. I know, its hard.

 

[Californiablonde]

No, Lil, I don't work at difficult child's school, thank goodness for that. The principal at the school I work at is a good, kind hearted Christian man who would never even think of treating me the way difficult child's principal does.

 

[Lil]

No, Lil, I don't work at difficult child's school, thank goodness for that. The principal at the school I work at is a good, kind hearted Christian man who would never even think of treating me the way difficult child's principal does.

Well thank God for that!

But that doesn't make her calling you at work and yelling at you and accusing you of lying any less inappropriate.

If you are even in the same school district, I'd go over her head.

 

[Californiablonde]

difficult child's social worker (not the one who's coming to see us tomorrow. This one works at the school) just called me at work today and wanted to know why on earth I'm excusing my daughter's LEGITIMATE illnesses. I told her that difficult child has three stomach ulcers, and her all of her medical paperwork is on file in her IEP. Then I told her I was at work and couldn't talk. I've had enough of this harassment.

 

[BusynMember]

You need to go over the school district's head or you will get nowhere. I wouldn't let Daughter see a social worker at THAT school.

 

[Californiablonde]

I am going to talk to one of the administrators at my school whom I trust wholeheartedly and see if I can make any headway. My coworker suggested I speak with her after she read about how upset I was on the single mom's support group I have on facebook. At this point I feel like I'm being bullied.

 

[Californiablonde]

Well guess what? The principal told me yesterday that she was going to give difficult child five days of cuts unless I could provide a doctor's note. My mom took her to the doctor today, and now the principal is saying "Too bad, so sad, it's too late." She is refusing to accept the doctor's note. Now difficult child has five days of truancies on her record for having the flu. At this point I do really think this principal hates me.

 

[BusynMember]

I'd visit a lawyer and keep her out of school, demanding that the district send her to another one that can meet her needs. I once kept 37 out of school for three days and the school was so nervous that there was going to be bad publicity for them that t hey had a special meeting and gave into what I wanted.

Honestly, no schools messed with me. I was serious about going over their heads and they knew it. I had no problem consulting the Dept. of Education in our state and getting their help, and that could have gotten them into trouble, and they knew that, and if I had heard what you had heard, I would have called the Dept. of Public Ed AND an attorney.

School districts don't like to go to court. Not only does it cost money and they often do not win and their faults are exposed, but they don't want to lose money from the Dept. of Education who decides which schools get it and which ones don't. Plus they investigate complaints like yours. Trust me, your district won't want that.

I was not Popular Mother of the Year at any school any of my kids went to. But my kids got every support I asked for and because none of the teachers wanted me to go after them, they treated mine like princes and princesses, even 37 (who, looking back, did not deserve it).

One Special Education teaacher told Jumper that, "There are at least ten teachers in this school who are afraid to talk to your mother and never want to again." When she told me, I laughed and laughed so hard I had tears running down my cheeks. Jumper just smiled. Jumper never did anything wrong, but she was Learning Disability (LD) and I felt she was not getting enough supports. In the end, however, with my trusty advocate at my side (who had taken many districts to court and won), Jumper got the supports she needed and now she is well versed in how to ask for and get help in her college.

Trust me, being quiet and never going over their heads doesn't work.