Someone, please....help me....

[Shari]

The Broom's have 15 cows. Two of said cows are red with a white circle around one eye. They are pretty much identical, except the circles of white are around opposite eyes.
***
The one with the white circle around its left eye belongs to nephew L. The one with the circle around the right eye belongs to Two Brooms. There was some discussion regarding these two cows, so we went out and looked at them and came back with the information in question.
***
Only, I had the info backwards.
***
You see, I was mistaken in my assumption that cows have their own right and left sides. Apparently, they don't. Contrary to popular opinion, as you are looking the cow in the face, the eye that is on your right side is the right eye, not the left, thus the cow with white around this eye belongs to Two Brooms. The eye that is on your left side is the left eye, thus the cow with white around this eye is L's...not the other way around.
***
Silly me.
***
Someone please save me!

 

[AnnieO]

Neat. So in other words, don't take small children around cows until they figure out their own L and R???

 

[Shari]

At least not the broom closet cows....

 

[witzend]

I'm totally lost. If a train is traveling south at 95 mph and another train is traveling north at 55 mph on parallel tracks. They are 300 miles apart and there is a cow with a red circle around it's left eye on the northbound tracks. I will never know what happens to the trains! There is, however, hamburger involved.

 

[Shari]

If I am looking at you and we are face to face...you're right side is in front of my left; your left is in front of my right.
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If your dog hurt its right front paw, you'd know which one that is, correct?
***
According to the Broom's, this is not true in cows because cows don't have a right and left.
For example, if this smiley were the cow....the larger eye, according to the Brooms, is the right eye. The smaller one is the left.

 

[DaisyFace]

OK--

So if I am standing in front of the cow....the eye on MY right...is the cow's right eye....the ear on MY right...is the cow's right ear....the legs on MY right are the cow's right legs. OK...

*****

What happens if I stand BEHIND the cow?

 

[Shari]

You got it DF! lol

In order to know what side of the cow is right or left, according to the Brooms, you must clarify where you are standing in relation to the cow! If you are behind the cow, the right and left would swap!!!

But you can't see the cow's face from behind, so you can only look at these two from the front to differentiate them....

 

[DammitJanet]

Just paint the cow.

 

[AnnieO]

I have an idea. Take both eyes out of the cow. Juggle to improve random choice. Surgically reattach one in the middle of cow's forehead.

 

[Shari]

Is this not the most ridiculous exchange ever??? What's so hard to comprehend about a cow having a right and a left????

OMG.

The dog has a left foot/ear/eye/side. The horse has a left foot/ear/eye/side. Heck, if you are certified and tag your animals according to the animal tracking guidelines, you have to tag them in the correct ear, and the USDA doesn't clarify whether its as you are looking at the front or the back of the cow....it just says right or left...

I can't believe I wasted time even having this "exchange of information" with them....lol

 

[Shari]

I have an idea. Take both eyes out of the cow. Juggle to improve random choice. Surgically reattach one in the middle of cow's forehead.

Good plan, Step! They can attach one to the forehead of one cow, and one to the butt of the other. Then they won't need right and left.

Wonder if cows have fronts and backs....? Hm....

 

[AnnieO]

LM eyeballs out...

I bet the broom cows don't.

 

[susiestar]

I seriously doubt the truth of the claim that cows have no right and left, that it is in relation to the person looking at them. I would even bet there is a govt ruling on it somewhere. Because it would be a nifty way to mix your cows with someone else's and then cherry pick the better cows. Figure out which is which and brand or tag them. Or even microchip them. Whatever will settle this permanently.

Whichever one gives off the best calfs, milk, whatever will belong to the brooms. If one gets sick and dies, they will claim it is not theirs. Settle this now, with the help of an attorney if needed. Do NOT let this confusion continue or else nephew WILL end up with MAJOR hassles/problems.

 

[donna723]

Just do it the way I do with my dogs. Their left side is the drivers side, right is the passenger side. I tell their vet that and he knows exactly what I'm talking about!

 

[Lothlorien]

I'm totally lost. If a train is traveling south at 95 mph and another train is traveling north at 55 mph on parallel tracks. They are 300 miles apart and there is a cow with a red circle around it's left eye on the northbound tracks. I will never know what happens to the trains! There is, however, hamburger involved.

Bwahaha! Love it!

 

[muttmeister]

I grew up on a farm, with many cows. It is obvious to me that cows do have a right and a left but I learned early on that some people do not have brains and it is better not to argue with those.

 

[Hound dog]

Sometimes if we don't laugh we just sit down and cry. I think I'd have a really hard time having a conversation of any sort with Two Brooms. And believe me, we've a ton of really backward ignorant (seriously) people in my neck of the woods!

Thanks for the good laugh. You've no idea how much I needed one tonight. And as for Two Brooms, try to think of her as comic relief........maybe that would help? OMG

 

[KTMom91]

Like Janet, the first thing I thought of was paint the cows, like we painted the tips of the panther boys tail's to know which panther was which.

 

[Shari]

Susie, just for your peace of mind, I have nothing to do with these cows. They can mingle and co-mingle and whatever else, and its no skin off my back what happens! Nephew is selling his, anyway.

Mutt, yes...you are SOOOO correct. I still am shaking my head about even having HAD such a conversation. I could feel my brain cells leaping out of my own head...

Yes, must laugh, or I will cry. Honestly, as I am in the middle of some of this bs, I am thinking to myself, "I can't wait to get to the easy child to post this one!" Its what keeps me as (questionably) sane as I am...

Thanks for sharing!

 

[JJJ]

Okay, I am really tired. I was thinking - cows don't have a right and left, I never knew that. It only took me about 30 seconds to have my brain click in but that was 30 seconds more than I ever thought I'd spend pondering which is a cow's right eye.