Son kicked out of sober house, thriving

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by AmericanGirl, Feb 11, 2013.

  1. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Member

    Hi all,

    difficult child was kicked out of the sober house on 1/12. Long story short - I went to get him on 1/13 and allowed him to move home - after he spoke to trusted friends who gave their blessings and difficult child agreed to many terms (changing his cell number, abandoning his old FB, staying away from old playmates, etc.)

    He got his wisdom teeth out on 1/15. No problems with medications.

    He got a full time job on 1/22 in a local manufacturing plant. Is working almost 50 hours a week. LOVES the job. Has turned over his entire paycheck towards his debt.

    Judge closed his case about a week ago. He's still under unsupervised probation for two years.

    Got him in to a local therapist where I go. He really likes her. She will refer him to a shrink for medication management. Downside is he can only see her monthly as it is a state run facility.

    He has willingly gone to church with me every week. He interacts with pastors and other people there. Has had many friends to the house. With the exception of one, all have been great. Long story as to why but he has broken ties with that one now he realized who she truly is. He quit smoking a week ago. He's grouchy sometimes but, other than that, has been very kind and respectful towards me. Regularly tells me how happy he is.

    We had a small bump last Thursday when an old friend asked him to go with them to an out of town nightclub. It was student night with special activities and no cover charge. difficult child and I talked about it. I told him how scary that was to me. However, I realize I have to remember that he is still a 19 year old kid. I liked what he said and how he approached the topic so I said okay. I guess I decided it was a great test of whether he was doing okay or not -- enough rope to hang himself kind of thing. He texted me when he got there and went he left. I saw FB pics where the large X on his hand (showing he was underaged) was visible. The guys he went with all had their shirts off and were covered in neon paint with huge grins on their faces. He got home at 4:30 am and then got himself up a few hours later and went to work on time. We talked about it later and he said the major difficulty was being around people smoking but that this place is really good about no underage drinking. My only complaint was he got orange paint on a

    Don't head isn't in the clouds. I often tell myself what a skilled liar difficult child can be.

    I've been on a roller coaster of emotions this last month. Part of me is thrilled he is here. Part is scared things will go south again. Part is dealing with living with a teenager again after living alone for 15 months. I've neglected myself and my needs. I am working hard on getting back where I was.

    I've also thought a lot about what happened and why things are where they are. I believe that the anti-depressants difficult child got on in the last rehab make a huge difference and then getting the dosage increased helped that along. difficult child says things like "I thought I was ready for the real world and I was wrong." Also, he grew up a lot during this time and had a lot of really wise people share their knowledge with him. Plus, he simply ran out of options and knew time (and life) was passing him by.

    So...we shall see what tomorrow brings. It's a miracle he is where he is now. I pray he will continue to make good decisions.
  2. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Oh AG - that is wonderful news. I am so glad you are back.

    My difficult child is home too - not exactly thriving yet - but once again acting like a son and a brother and is pleasant to be around. He needs to get a job and that hasn't happened yet (it's only been a week and 1/2). Right now I get the feeling he is licking his wounds a bit and catching up on missed sleep and maybe even a tad depressed. I don't know - I am trying to give him some space and am so much more comfortable with him under my roof. I am not trying to make this about me just trying to relate that I too am breathing a little easier these days - yet that scared feeling lurks in the shadows; and I hope I am not naive. I haven't posted my own update because I haven't quite got a grip on what's going on yet...

  3. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    AG, that is awesome news. You know that we are always thrilled to hear about a difficult child success story.

    Keep in touch!

  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a wonderful update and Kathy's right, we love celebrating those difficult child accomplishments. I so understand your worry about the other shoe dropping, it will take a long time to get over that fear. They told us in the treatment center that it takes years of transparency and for them to do the right thing to make up for the times they lied and were using. But every day that he is doing the right thing is hopefully making a new pathway in his brain and he is getting older and more mature with each good decision. And so I celebrate with you today and pray along with you that he continues on this road to lasting sobriety.
  5. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Wonderful news!
  6. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Wonderful news! Correct medications, therapy, support from home and a JOB that keeps you occupied 50 hrs/week...AND - he's only 19 (I have to keep reminding myself...difficult child's live 3 lifetimes by the time they're 19, and their parents age accordingly, too!) is quite an accomplishment. He's getting his priorities straight, and he knows you're no pushover, too. What a relief - I'm truly thrilled for you, AG!
  7. Wakegirl

    Wakegirl Member

    I LOVE reading success stories on here, whether big steps or baby steps. Makes my heart happy for the parent of the difficult child, and gives me hope. I'll keep you and your difficult child in my prayers, that he continues to keep a clear vision, and only progresses in his new found journey!
  8. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    That is good news AG. the trust will come. Just take it one day at a time. I think when they finally get the right combination of medications and therapy they do well. -RM
  9. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    AG - great news.... I like hearing those positive updates!!!!

  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    That all sounds very hopeful! I'm glad you are getting time to start rebuilding trust and your relationships! Thank you for checking in....super happy for you.
  11. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    So great to hear!!!! Thanks for the wonderful gives the rest of us hope....
  12. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Super good to hear. Enjoy what you can when you can. I totally understand where your head afraid to be afraid to jinx things.
    i hope and pray for your continued peace.
  13. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    How totally awesome, AG. Like the rest of the family it makes me so genuinely happy to read about a genuine success story. (Yeah, I know, it may not last forever but you have been an outstanding Warrior Mom and it has always been so apparent tht he loves you deeply.) My day is starting with a smile. Congrats to both of you. Hugs DDD