Son off the radar

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Nessie, Aug 5, 2017.

  1. Nessie

    Nessie Member

    Not responding to anything!
    Even my daughter who has always been one of his best friends.
    I feel sick! Ive been here before. I've had a few drinks and now all my thoughts are dark x
    I am not religious but wish I had the strength.
     
  2. StillStanding

    StillStanding Active Member

    Sorry your son isn't responding. Most of us have been here. I think my longest was just over a month with no word.

    There's lots of talk about "help" vs "enable" but for me, I pay for my son's cell phone every month (just call & text - no data). Now, if he doesn't respond, I turn it off. I think it's fair. I've told him that I can't pay for a phone that he won't even use to respond. Now... he responds even if it's just one word... "ok"

    I hope you hear from him soon. If you're really worried, report him as missing. Good luck.
     
  3. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    There are no hars and fast rules when it comes to enabling and detachment. We do what our hearts can bare. I pay for my sons phone also. Same reason I need to be able to communicate with him. And he needs a way for his rehab and bail couselor to keep in touch with him. I turn it off when he was acting out and selling drugs.
     
  4. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    i am so sorry you are going through this. Keeping you in my heart
     
  5. Nessie

    Nessie Member

    I have managed to contact him this morning, said he was asleep! Honestly thought today would be it, it's like being on a roller coaster that you cannot get off. Thanks for your thoughts and comments x
     
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  6. Nessie, I am so glad he contacted you...(((HUGS)))

    I took my daughter to a homeless shelter, her choice and just a week before said in my anger I want nothing to do with her, no contact. But when she was actually gone, I worried.

    Finally she gets back to me today and said she is sleeping in! Ugh, I worried for no good reason.

    I came here and re-read the article on detachment. Even though we still have feelings for them we must learn to really let them be free, do what they want with their life and to put the focus back to self.

    Must say that I was really bothered by my daughter's one word answers. She seems detached and it's what I must do as well.

    Hoping yours is a better day today. :)