Hopefully ops can get her posting situation worked out. I'm sure she could use some board support right now.
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Dear Family:
I tried. Once again the dratted Board will not let me Post New Thread. It tells me I am not Logged In (lie) or I "Do Not Have Permission To Access This Page" (New thread).
I don't get it. It does this to me every time I try to make a new thread. So I'll have to do it here since it WILL for some reason let me reply.
So here goes.
I've been 'Parent Emeritus In Absentia' for a long long time now. I do/have read a good bit of the Board up until the last several months. But I felt that I had not been here enough -- sometimes not at ALL -- to be supportive enough, and consistently, of all of you, so I felt shy/stupid about making a new thread.
Not that it would have let me anyway, mind.
Sigh.
But
Here's the deal.
We had been searching for 2+years for a proper diagnosis for Joe, my husband. We received many many of them, all wrong. (Asthma? nope. Shadow on lung, otherwise unremarkable? NO! Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD)/Sleep Apnea? Well, yes, but he's had that for a zillion yrs and had the machine to deal with it. Scar On Lung Due To Open-Heart Surgery in 2005? Ohferpete'ssake! EMPHYSEMA?!!!!? Not hardly!!
Eventually we threw up our hands and drove to the U of Chicago for a REAL diagnosis, and, we hoped, some decent treatment program(s).
They diagnosis'd him in early Nov. after a surgical lung biopsy. He died on Sunday 7 June at a bit before 0400,of mesothelioma. he/We were in our new inpatient hospice unit here in Iowa City.
he fought so so hard
it's been very polarizing for the entire family. Worst is easy child(???) Bug, who now lives in Austin Tx. She has been utterly awful, hurtful, mean, and angry. Refuses to speak to me and to be honest, be daggone if I much care just now. Unfortunately she is arriving on Fri to stay with the poor difficult child/easy child MiaKid and staying till Monday. I'm sure it will be seven kinds of Hades bc she's already made it clear that she intends to march in here and rip all manner of my husbands things out of my house.
Not while I have breath in my body -- And I DO have a gun! lol (sorta).
There have been other unduely nutz happenstances but I lacke the strength to tell all of them just now. And I need at some point to let y'all know how Pico's kids are doing (one of them is in jail, sigh).
I don't know how to do this
I feel as tho someone has folded me twice, stomped me flat and shoved me under a door.
Some days I don't even get out of bed. OK LOTS of days I don't. Except to feed Wolfdoggie.
Tomorrow I have neuro-doctor appointment in general and specifically to get new antidepressants. Bc i cannot cannot cannot be out of my mind right now.
Even tho of course I am.
Aren't y'all so glad you asked?
love, Blondie
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We do love you, Blondie. You're family!! You know you always have a soft place to land even if you're a lurker.
Hugs to you and wishing well for the visit.
Abbey