Spent the morning with difficult child

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Nancy, Oct 29, 2011.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    difficult child's car needed a new muffler so she found a place that was very reasonable and we agreed to pay for the repair. She was very responsible in getting there at 9am and waited the hour for it to be finished. We talked to the mechanic and paid for it and I asked if she wanted to meet me at the mall. Her feet have been giving her a lot of problems so I bought her a good pair of tennis shoes and used a coupon I had to get her a couple bras since her old ones are too small. I bought her a sandwich for lunch and we had a nice visit.

    She seems happy and relaxed. I asked about her meetings and she told me every day which meeting she goes to. Tomorrow they are all going over this one guy's apartment and making turkey and watching the football game. She is in charge of the dressing so I suggested she buy stovetop dressing. She said she is committed to staying sober and is tired of reintroducing herself so this time is for real. She said she understands and has accepted the fact that she is an alcoholic and really likes being sober. She has a good support group of recovering young people and they seem like they are all intent on staying sober. She was very grateful that we fixed her car and for the shoes and hugged me when she left and told me she loves me.

    It was a good visit, we talked and laughed and really enjoyed the time together.

    Last edited: Oct 29, 2011
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    That is just really good news. I am sure it is hard to get hopes up at this point but she sounds like she is trying so very hard. I bet you are proud of her. So great you can support her knowing it is typical kinds of parenting support when your kid is doing the right thing. (Ok not a typical situaiton, but I dont know how to say it right). I am happy for you and for her.
  3. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    I am very happy for you and I am sure you are breathing a little easier. I hope that this is the beginning of a new life for her
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Your post put a smile on my face. So glad you had a lovely time. DDD
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Nancy, sounds like a great time. Its so nice when we can have normal moments with our kids.
  6. Elsieshaye

    Elsieshaye Member

    Nancy, that's wonderful!
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Watch your mommy heart- maybe I'm just too pessimistic but after all that has happened over the past year with her, I'd be cautious about jumping in to give her whatever she says she needs....I'm not trying to pop your bubble, I'm just suggesting that you protect your mommy heart and keep one foot firmly planted on the ground of hx.
  8. dollphyn

    dollphyn New Member

    Nancy..I don't know you and I don't know the whole background of you, your family and you difficult child, but I've got to tell you that what you have just told in this post brought tears to my eyes..I can just only imagine how nice that was to be able to spend a nice, quiet, productive day with your child. I am so happy for you and for her and for her sobriety. Bless her heart!
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Such a sweet update Nancy. I'm so glad difficult child is committed to staying sober and has such a good support system. She's in my prayers every night that she'll be able to stick with it.

    You two deserved a nice day together just hangin out shopping and visiting. :)

  10. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Nancy. I am so glad and hope this time is really it.

  11. jinger

    jinger Guest

    Hold this moment close to your heart...it is these small, ordinary moments that make up a life. Cherish the visit. I hope for many more for you both.
  12. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    I'm rooting for her and you and husband and easy child to make it through together.
  13. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks everyone, I really so appreciate the support. After the years of what we've been through trust me I take one day at a time and have no unrealistic expectations. I am happy for today and relieved to know that she is still following the program and saying the right things. I am proud of her, she asks for nothing. husband and I decided it is in our best interest to keep her car running and I feel good about making sure she has good shoes and a warm coat. We have no problem giving her minimal support as long as she is doing what she needs to do to stay sober. It would be a far different story if she was on the street and using.

    She wrote on her facebook yesterday:
    "I have the two BEST parents in the entire world. I am soooo LUCKY to have them. I love you mom and dad ♥" I'll take that. It's so much better than what she said about us a year ago.

  14. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Aww Nancy. I have tears. I hope one day in a few years you and I can get together and look back at these years and I can tell you I was right about her. That is my prayer every night. You know how parents always hope their kids do better than they do? I almost feel like she is mine and I am praying she does better than I did...lol. (Hmmm...did I ever give a baby up?) Naw...dont think so. But I sure have adopted a few on here!
  15. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Janet I hope some day we can meet, the three of us, and you can tell her that. Your prayers must be doing some good because this last incident had me pretty hopeless but it worked out.

  16. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member


    That's the best thing I have heard in a long time. Maybe there is hope for our girls, after all.

  17. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    She's got a few of us praying for her! Bless you, Nancy.
  18. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Oh, Nancy, those are such good signs that she is sick and tired of being in the black pit. This is exactly how my daughter spoke and acted before she quit. She told me that she saw a "friend" who had track marks on her arms and "I didn't want to be that person." She was tired of the druggies, the drama, and wanted a sober life.

    I think and hope and pray that your difficult child is finally valuing what is most important...being sober, her family who loves her, and the good life she can have. I also had tears in my eyes. It hit so close to home. Good luck many times over.
  19. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a wonderful post to read. I agree that those "normal" mother/daughter moments are precious. Sounds like she is in a good place right now, with a good support system. I think one of the hardest things for addicts can be to give up those old friends... I'm so glad she's made new ones and they can support each other in recovery.
  20. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Janet will of course -----bring me. Lots of longer prayers ending in cold suppers very worth this little girl. Had a talk with her Guardian angel (more of an eyebrow raising session) and you know - we just don't get privy info. as to why things happen, but I do know her life if purposeful, meaningful and with a moral compass like you for a Mother I'm sure the direction she's headed is a straight and true one. Doesn't mean there won't be a few dips and peaks - but I see more peaks for her every day.

    Much love