I am so stressed and tired of life. Last year was a hard year. This year has started even worse. My eldest daughter who I think has borderline personality disorder has been relentless in her hate campaign and I am exhausted with the constant game playing. If it weren't for my grand daughter, I could quite easily stay in bed with the covers over my head. My husband and I are suffering financially at the moment, and every penny counts. I have £60 to last me to the end of March. Under $100. I have tried to work as many hours as I can, but my job is a zero hour contract and the pay fluctuates. For a woman who has spent the last 20 odd years bringing up kids, and not pursuing a career this is the best I can do at the moment. My youngest daughter suffers from an auto immune disease, and has done since aged 5. She is at University a 4 hour drive away. Whenever she is unwell, it is always me or her step dad that go fetch her and bring her home so I can look after her. My ex husband her father a multi millionaire, never, ever goes to get her. Ever since he left when she was 6 years old I have looked after all 3 kids alone, on a budget. He has never been there for them its always me. Yet, they respect him and not me. He always says No for everything, so they always ask me. I cannot afford the train fare of £120 to go and pick her up and help her on the train to come home. I do have a car, but again the Petrol would be around £90 which I do not have! I am also have anxiety attacks due to the stress that my eldest daughter has put me under. I can't eat properly or sleep at the moment. I would drive if I could get the money together but am not confident enough to even try. I am too scared. I have never been scared of anything in my life, but I have been reduced to nothing and cannot face anything. My husbands work has been very erratic and we don't know if we can pay our two mortgages this month. He actually has work on the day she wants us to pick her up, so he can't go get her either. He needs the work. We have two mortgages as he pays his sisters mortgage, as she has been unwell for some time, and he has always looked after her, she doesn't work. I just got off of the telephone with my youngest and I said out straight I am sorry but we can't come and get you. She was really upset. As am I as I feel guilty that I can't get her. She is 22 years old and is very forthright with her opinions with me, but always lets her Dad off the hook. He could afford to send someone to pick her up or go himself. He drives a Ferrari thats how much money he has! His last bonus was One million pounds! Why won't she ask him? Because he won't go, and will tell her we have to go. He doesn't talk to me, and I am too embarassed for him to know that we can't afford to go. She will find it very difficult on the train alone, as her walking will be hard for her. I am scared also that she will then team up with her elder sister who currently hates me, and be also horrible to me. Her sister is also married to a very wealthy man, and she could easily afford to help her sister come home. I am always there for them, but this time I just can't cope or go. I feel desolate and desperate, ashamed and useless. My youngest daughter and I are usually very close, but she is used to me always saving the day, and this time I can't deliver. I fear for the consequences. Her birthday is at the beginning of April and when I get paid I will have some money to buy her a nice gift. If I can borrow the money from a friend to go get her by train, I will then not be able to give her a gift on her birthday. I am so ashamed. I have sold anything of value through E Bay, but there's not much left. I am in my 50's and can't believe the situation I am in. This is my second marriage, and we are happy but having 5 kids between us it is very hard. They are all adults but very needy. I know it is our fault, as my ex and his ex are used to us always being there for them. When we on the rare occasion say No, they are angry and shocked. Emotional blackmail is rife. I feel like a fool and a failure. What am I to do? I have never said No to my youngest as she has ill health, and its hard for me to change. I may have to phone her Dad, but 16 years later he doesn't talk to me. He was the one that had an affair, but has been very angry with me as I re married! Feel like the worst mother and human being ever.