Suffering......

[HeadlightsMom]

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

RE -- This phrase, above, is the phrase which struck me most from Viktor Frankl's book. It was a revolutionary thought for in my early 20's (when I first read the book) and it's GLADLY still a revolutionary thought for me in my 50's. May it always remain a revolutionary thought for me! The visual I remember from his description of memories was him talking about others starving in the concentration camp, yet choosing to offer compassion to others and offering their last piece of bread to another with a genuine smile. Now that's an advanced soul, in my eyes.

TerryJ2 --- Interesting about the word "happy". Luck or chance? I think it's more choice. But, hey, luck, chance, choice.....I'll take 'em all! I wonder how many words take on significant connotative difference from their denotations? Interesting, interesting.... Hey, TerryJ2, I just looked at your mini-bio, above. I am an artist/writer as well. Not by profession currently (although I have been a professional artist in the past). What kinds of art and writing are you most drawn to?

 

[recoveringenabler]

I just remembered this quote I heard in a seminar........the facilitator had been a political prisoner in South America for quite a number of years and had, like Victor Frankl, developed a way of accepting his fate by choosing his response to this very challenging situation. The quote is: "Suffering is a linguistic phenomenon, it happens in our languaging." That was his opening line on Friday night for a 3 day seminar. I never forgot it, I thought it was brilliant. He, like Frankl, had come out of a dramatically difficult situation and used it as a means to conquer the way he responded.

I've been thinking about this conversation we're having here for a few days............the book, Mans search for meaning, by Frankl, really had a lasting impression on me. In the beginning of the book, he speaks about how he would observe people entering the Concentration camps and after awhile he was able to discern who would quickly perish from the sheer horror of it, who would eat their shoes to stay alive, who would make it their life's work to seek revenge using it as a means of survival, who would be present for others in their pain...........I was young, in my very early 20's when I read this and it was probably one of the first times I had really begun to understand the depth of man's inhumanity to man............I remember the huge impact it had on me as I thought to myself, if I were in that position, which fate would await me? Which choice would I make?.....Would I perish, would I hate, would I survive by any means? Those questions haunted me for a long time.

I still have no answers to that question since thankfully, I was not subjected to anything so horrific...........yet the idea that one has the power to choose one's response has changed my life immeasurably. The last 3 years with my daughter and having to detach and accept what is has cemented all of it into my thinking in profound ways. I understand it now and I can implement it (as best I can thus far)

“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.”

 

[HeadlightsMom]

RE --- All I can say is that we are similar in several of the ways you mention. I, also, asked myself how I would react in Frankl's situation. And I, like you, thankfully, have not had to find out.

But, over time, I have learned this thing about myself (in general)......... While I may react unhealthily to many things at first, when given enough time (depends on situation...........with difficult child it took longer than any other thing I've experienced -- years!), I do come to a place where I am able to make wiser, healthier, more compassionate decisions with boundaries. I wonder what sorts of boundaries I might wish to have in Frankl's spot? I don't know. Maybe that boundary would be with myself........to shut down self-defeating thoughts before they had a chance to devour me. I don't know..... Or maybe it would be to double and triple whatever gratitude I could glean from each day and say it out loud ad infinitum. Not sure....

And my gratitude here is that I'm glad I'm not sure because I haven't had to face that!