First forgive me for typos, etc. on the ipad. After much thought, i elected to reactivate difficult children phone. He is going to at least two meetings a day and has a new sponsor because the previous one is now many miles away. New sponsor gave him a lot of homework. Good. Have started to talk to difficult child about me...little about him. Told him if something happened to him, that i coudnt forgive myself if he had used that phone to reconnect with users. That i couldnt prevent him from contacting them. If he wanted to, he would need to find another way. difficult child claims idiot pals arent the issue but he is. Okay but they arent helping....just shows me he isnt there yet. But at least he is in meetings so thats progress. I continue to be shocked and confused at his level of anger towards me. I know it is transferred to me cause he cannot handle being that angry at himself but it is exhausting. I am proud i didnt get angry once on the phone. Detactment works. difficult child told me there is two small rooms in the house where he was...one set up like a school, another like a principals office. Used for child porn. Dont know what to believe. difficult child isnt that creative to think that up. Time will prove everything. Was thinking about the whole thing last night. I figured out where difficult child is. Family. Both parents employed. Stable. Recovering. One 19 yo. Working. In school. One 10 yr old. Maybe this is exactly what he needed. What do i know? I remembered when my brother was 19, that he lived with us for a semester cause he couldn't get along with our parents. Frankly, i was glad to see him move back in with them afterward. Later, my 20 yo. brother in law moved in here for a month or so due to the same thing. Im grateful to this family. Taking one day at a time.